# The reader sets the tone, not the writer

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-reader-sets-the-tone-not-the-writer/974225>\
**Category:** Great Debates\
**Created:** [November 2, 2022, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-reader-sets-the-tone-not-the-writer/974225 "2022-11-02T14:42:22Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 2

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**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\
**Post date:** [November 2, 2022, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-reader-sets-the-tone-not-the-writer/974225/2 "2022-11-02T15:06:41Z")

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> [@Chronos this is a ridiculous mod note](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/119):
>
> the reader sets the tone. I’ve heard this from two separate councilors and a HR rep giving a class on sensitivity.

Ok, let’s take this at face value for the moment. I will go out on a limb and say that these councilors and the HR rep hosting a class on sensitivity did not mean:

> [@Chronos this is a ridiculous mod note](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/chronos-this-is-a-ridiculous-mod-note/974050/1):
>
> if you’re getting a bad tone from that post that’s on you not me.

What workplace class on sensitivity says that offense is the offendee’s problem, the Weinstein Company?

Clearly Grrr misinterpreted the concept, which is that, as the author of an email/text/post, you are not fully in control of the tone, so you need to be _extra careful_ of your phrasing, because you can offend without meaning to.

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