# The real reason humans run the Federation... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 23, 2016, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529 "2016-10-23T21:48:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2016, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/1 "2016-10-23T21:48:23Z")
[We’re _insane_!](https://imgur.com/gallery/wpZ4w) This series of posts had my wife and I in hysterics. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2016, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/2 "2016-10-23T22:21:42Z")
Ha, yes; I saw this linked on another forum, very funny. I especially liked the last few lines. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2016, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/3 "2016-10-23T22:48:14Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > I especially liked the last few lines. And that was the “mature”, “responsible” captain… ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2016, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/4 "2016-10-23T22:54:44Z")
YYYYyyyyyuppp. Look at fucking Red Squadron. The “Brightest and best”. You think its a fucking coincidence that with war on the horizon they SENT RED SQUADRON ON A CIRCUMFERENCE TOUR OF THE FEDERATION?? Do you know how long that would take?? And yet Red Squadron find a way to fuck even that up. “We have data on a Dominion Dreadnought!!! We should try and blow it up real good!! RED SQUAD RED SQUAD RED SQUAD!!” ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2016, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/5 "2016-10-23T22:55:49Z")
I think that is the first and only time I have quite literally spat orange juice over my keyboard from laughing! ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2016, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/6 "2016-10-23T23:02:59Z")
Reminds me of a quote from _Rick and Morty_: “Sometimes science is more art than science. A lot of people don’t get that.” And here’s the [scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuTuWCSTnkE)! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2016, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/7 "2016-10-23T23:06:16Z")
I thought it was because we have loose morals, & breed like rats. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/8 "2016-10-24T01:53:48Z")
Love this! I’m signing up right away to serve aboard the USS _Watch This, Dude, It’s Gonna Be Awesome._ ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/9 "2016-10-24T05:27:19Z")
“Captain!!! Our sensors have detected VAST amounts of plot armor!!” “My God! Break off the attack!” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/10 "2016-10-24T06:40:38Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Love this! I’m signing up right away to serve aboard the USS _Watch This, Dude, It’s Gonna Be Awesome._ I have dibs for First Engineering Officer aboard the _USS Like Fuck I Can’t_. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/11 "2016-10-24T17:58:48Z")
“Wesley Crusher is literally a next step in Human evolution who can bypass the laws of physics by ignoring them hard enough.” Fuck yeah! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/12 "2016-10-24T18:56:37Z")
Our patron saint: [http://media.moddb.com/images/downloads/1/79/78360/maxresdefault.jpg](http://media.moddb.com/images/downloads/1/79/78360/maxresdefault.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/13 "2016-10-24T19:06:04Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > “Wesley Crusher is literally a next step in Human evolution who can bypass the laws of physics by ignoring them hard enough.” > > Fuck yeah! Only humans could invent a warp drive/engineering system more akin to a musical instrument than means of propulsion. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/14 "2016-10-24T19:52:32Z")
This is hilarious! I’ve been re-watching Voyager. I like it even though it’s gotten so much criticism. I just have to give it a lot of continuity and believability leeway. Anyway, with binge-watching, it’s really obvious how much they pulled out of their asses. Every episode there’s a new gadget or element or substance that fixes everything. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/15 "2016-10-24T19:56:30Z")
It’s as if Hunter Thompson wrote the Starfleet Manual: “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/16 "2016-10-24T20:59:13Z")
Many years ago I played a PBM (Play by Mail - pre-internet) space game where I belonged to the bad guys. Only we weren’t bad from our point of view, we just thought Humans were batshit insane, couldn’t be trusted with anything more than a pointed stick (if that) and needed to be forcible beaten back to the stone age. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2016, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/17 "2016-10-24T22:04:19Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > This is hilarious! I’ve been re-watching Voyager. I like it even though it’s gotten so much criticism. I just have to give it a lot of continuity and believability leeway. Anyway, with binge-watching, it’s really obvious how much they pulled out of their asses. Every episode there’s a new gadget or element or substance that fixes everything. And Neelix totally called them on this… “You’ve got a ship here that anybody in this quadrant would love to have, because it’s so technologically superior to everything else out here, and every time I turn around, you’re trying to _blow it up…_” ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/18 "2016-10-25T06:28:54Z")
Reminds me of that episode of Stargate SG1, where they drop an active wormhole connected to a black hole into the sun and hoping that it will explode the sun. All to destroy 2 or 3 bad guy ships. And it works. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/19 "2016-10-25T13:49:01Z")
:: dusts hands :: ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529/20 "2016-10-25T14:10:15Z")
I wish subscribe to your newsletter. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-reason-humans-run-the-federation/769529.md?page=2)