# The \*REAL\* start of the year! September mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 1, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847 "2011-09-01T15:24:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/421 "2011-09-17T18:42:33Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > You know, I sorta chuckled reading this and the follow ups. I now repent. Those stings DO hurt foully. You’re going to want to search on **Lancia** ’s thread in GQ for advice on how to deal with their nest in the ground. Those little bastards will never play nice. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/422 "2011-09-17T19:11:22Z")
Once More: Plant spray bottle with water and soap (Dawn or other dish soap is easiest). Don’t need that much soap. Spray them in the air. They fall to the ground. Squish them. Inside the house? What is a little Dawn on a wall or couch going to hurt? And you KNOW they’re not going to fly off once you get them, if you have to retrieve smashy tools. The soap gums them up good. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/423 "2011-09-17T20:56:03Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Once More: Plant spray bottle with water and soap (Dawn or other dish soap is easiest). Don’t need that much soap. > > Spray them in the air. They fall to the ground. Squish them. Ah, this is good to know! I will have a loaded spray bottle on my bedside table tonight. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/424 "2011-09-18T02:45:24Z")
Okay kid, you’re all little and cute and stuff and have no malice in you, but we’ve gotta draw the line when you break my nose… Who knew that a smallish 19-month-old could muster enough arm strength to throw an empty plastic bottle that hard? And why my nose, of all things?! It’s large and lumpy enough without the swelling! ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/425 "2011-09-18T02:45:34Z")
WHY is it taking so long to download this file? It’s been more than 3 hours, and it’s still only 65% done. And it’s only 1.5 Gig! \ ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/426 "2011-09-18T03:21:51Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > Ah, this is good to know! I will have a loaded spray bottle on my bedside table tonight. 😃 Some years ago when I had my house, there was a wasp nest about 30’ up a tree that I could not get to, about the size of a basketball. I made it a sport to go out there and kill as many as I could each day. I was getting 20-30 at a shot before coming in to do other things (short attention span theater) and about 100 or so per day. Only took a couple of days to completely deplete the population. I would also suspect that the soap gums up their communications, because spraying and squishing a whole lot of them in no way riles up the others nearby. Soap works on any flying insect. A few weeks back I took out a major fruit fly infestation in my apartment through the Soapy Hands technique of hunting them. Wet hands, lather with soft soap. Go around grabbing the bastards out of the air. They stick to the soap on your hands. Smushy them to be sure. When you’ve got 8-10, go wash them down the drain and re-wet your hands, as the soap will dry out in 4-5 minutes. Don’t usually have to add soap unless you’re washing it off, just wet it back up. A bit of light entertainment, stalking around my apartment grabbing fruit flies out of the air and killing them. Clear the bathroom (where they always seem to be), wander through the kitchen over to the trash, through the living room and back to the bathroom where more have mysteriously appeared… ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/427 "2011-09-18T03:37:16Z")
My god, you’re a serial killer! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/428 "2011-09-18T03:43:56Z")
Careful, my ex-wife may bookmark that as a citation. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/429 "2011-09-18T08:27:16Z")
Not mini, and not a rant, but I’m leaving it here rather than start a thread and risk getting a pity party: Took my 9 month old daughter to a first birthday party yesterday, and ended up spending the whole time sitting next to a baby boy with my deceased son’s name. Hearing his name called all the time, and seeing her playing with him, when she’ll never get to know her real brother, was… well, it wasn’t easy. Thankfully there was wine. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/430 "2011-09-18T10:03:11Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > What’s an oystercard? The passes used in London’s transportation system. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/431 "2011-09-18T17:46:14Z")
OMFG. Worst freaking toothpaste ever made. Aquafresh Sensitive toothpaste tastes like chemicals and old cigarette smoke and just a smidge of, oh, I don’t know, Pledge furniture polish? I don’t know how this one got past any kind of taste-testing procedure (I assume they have taste-testing procedures - if they don’t, that explains a lot). ---
**Author:** ![eenerms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/432 "2011-09-18T19:39:08Z")
I don’t understand the long flowing hair on Professional American Football players. Some of the locks are so long they cover their numbers(Well almost) I don’t get it. (shrug) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/433 "2011-09-18T21:26:33Z")
> [@eenerms](#): > > I don’t understand the long flowing hair on Professional American Football players. Some of the locks are so long they cover their numbers(Well almost) I don’t get it. (shrug) [Polamalu!!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se8ABHcq8g4) ---
**Author:** ![Runestar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/74df32/32.png) [@Runestar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runestar)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/434 "2011-09-19T00:09:38Z")
Hotel, what is the point of putting a hi-def television in the room, and then feeding it an old-fashioned analog signal? You do know what that gets you, right? Right - it gets you a grainy, ugly picture. It’s a two-part process: equipment and signal. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/435 "2011-09-19T00:19:48Z")
The point is that the PORN is in high def ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/436 "2011-09-19T01:14:30Z")
> [@eenerms](#): > > I don’t understand the long flowing hair on Professional American Football players. Some of the locks are so long they cover their numbers(Well almost) I don’t get it. (shrug) As my husband also pointed out recently, they wear their uniforms skintight so they can’t be grabbed by them, then let their hair flow long and loose - [that seems kind of foolish to me.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVO93amUv7Y&feature=related) ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/437 "2011-09-19T03:31:25Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > There is a small part of me that wants to go down late tonight and pound that fucking van into a cube. But I’m not that guy. But to judge from your username, maybe you have some of his DNA. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/438 "2011-09-19T07:09:34Z")
Oh good, the board’s stupidest meme has returned. Let’s hope the [del]weirdos[/del] respected board members get all the Jeremy Irons names out of their system quickly. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/439 "2011-09-19T13:06:35Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > As my husband also pointed out recently, they wear their uniforms skintight so they can’t be grabbed by them, then let their hair flow long and loose - [that seems kind of foolish to me.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVO93amUv7Y&feature=related) Oh, no. You watch any football, you see that they CAN be grabbed by their uniforms. They can also be grabbed by any long, luxurious locks they may have, but that’s the price you pay to look good. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/440 "2011-09-19T14:34:01Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > So, let me get this straight. Your MIL, who lives hours away and presumably seldom sees your daughter (i.e., has no idea what she likes or even much about her personality at all), freaks out about what to get your daughter, sends you a gift card for her, and instead of thanking her for the gift you tell her she’s wrong? :dubious: > > Your daughter might not appreciate a gift card at 8, but I would have–so maybe MIL is just clueless and nervous. “Thank you, MIL, we’ll pick out something for MiniParanoia for you” is fine, if your daughter wouldn’t understand a gift card. “Your gift is bad” is just tacky, in this situation.\* > > Not making time for her granddaughter’s birthday, on the other hand (especially if she’s never been able to make it before), is kind of a dick move; if it were my mother pulling that with my kid (i.e., in your husband’s place), I’d be having serious words with Mom over it. > > \*It would be an appropriate response if she sent, like, a thong. They see the kids about once a month. Sometimes we stay there for a few days. She definitely sees the kid/knows what she likes/has a detailed list that she asked the kid for. She also makes a huge deal of her own birthday, her husband’s birthday and her son and daughter’s birthday. I think the not wanting to even have a cake or some kind of recognition of the event in combination with this just pushed me over the top. Anyway, it’s not my mother (or she would be getting a talking to) and I have so much other stuff planned for her that she won’t even notice (and my parents, sister and best friends will do incredible amounts of fussing over her). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847.md?page=23)