# The \*REAL\* start of the year! September mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 1, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847 "2011-09-01T15:24:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 32
**Author:** ![panman\_1960](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@panman\_1960](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panman_1960)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/621 "2011-09-28T18:48:01Z")
Bahh fucking HumBug!!! I went to Lowes yesterday at 7am, and as I passed all the Christmas trees and lights and decorations put up inside the entrance, the manager asked me in front of about 10 employees “Hi how are you?”. I responded, “It really sucks that it’s September, and you have all this Christmas SHIT up!” . And you wonder why nobody gets in the spirit, has depression, stress, and is fully fed up with “The Holidays” by the first week of November. Fucking merchants shoving Christmas season guild up our ass 3 full months before the gifts get opened. BITE ME, oh greedy corporations, trying to beat the other guy to the sale! Why not just take the white trailer trash approach and leave the shit up all year long? (no offense to folks living in modular housing) If I wanted to have Christmas all year long, I’d go have a gender change to elf, and get a job with Santa at the FUCKING NORTH POLE! later, Tom. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/622 "2011-09-28T19:13:19Z")
> [@panman\_1960](#): > > Bahh fucking HumBug!!! > I went to Lowes yesterday at 7am, and as I passed all the Christmas trees and lights and decorations put up inside the entrance, the manager asked me in front of about 10 employees “Hi how are you?”. I responded, “It really sucks that it’s September, and you have all this Christmas SHIT up!” . > And you wonder why nobody gets in the spirit, has depression, stress, and is fully fed up with “The Holidays” by the first week of November. Fucking merchants shoving Christmas season guild up our ass 3 full months before the gifts get opened. BITE ME, oh greedy corporations, trying to beat the other guy to the sale! > Why not just take the white trailer trash approach and leave the shit up all year long? (no offense to folks living in modular housing) If I wanted to have Christmas all year long, I’d go have a gender change to elf, and get a job with Santa at the FUCKING NORTH POLE! > > later, Tom. A-fucking-men! I was at the dollar store the other day so I thought I would check out their Hallowe’en stuff (which is normally awesome) and there is only a half an aisle left. They have two full isles of seasonal stuff and one and a half are already Christmas. I am not even ready for Hallowe’en yet! ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/623 "2011-09-28T19:19:56Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > They don’t hand everyone a sticker for the front windshield that says “FUNERAL” any more? Maybe it’s a California thing - I went to a funeral up in the Bay area and got a sticker there. ---
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/624 "2011-09-28T19:22:04Z")
I’m cleaning _moldy cat puke_ out of the family room carpet. WTF, cats? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/625 "2011-09-28T19:46:52Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > My Corolla is also silver - I drive with my headlights on ALL THE TIME because so many people treat a small silver car like it isn’t there (we call it “Driving in stealth mode”). I have wondered if it’s legal to outline my car in reflective tape or something so people will actually notice it. That would be SO cool. Have a bunch of strips of tape to make your car look like Jeff Bridges in _Tron_. And you’d _have_ to get a vanity plate that says TRON on it. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/626 "2011-09-28T19:50:19Z")
> [@panman\_1960](#): > > Bahh fucking HumBug!!! > I went to Lowes yesterday at 7am, and as I passed all the Christmas trees and lights and decorations put up inside the entrance, the manager asked me in front of about 10 employees “Hi how are you?”. I responded, “It really sucks that it’s September, and you have all this Christmas SHIT up!” . > And you wonder why nobody gets in the spirit, has depression, stress, and is fully fed up with “The Holidays” by the first week of November. Fucking merchants shoving Christmas season guild up our ass 3 full months before the gifts get opened. BITE ME, oh greedy corporations, trying to beat the other guy to the sale! > Why not just take the white trailer trash approach and leave the shit up all year long? (no offense to folks living in modular housing) If I wanted to have Christmas all year long, I’d go have a gender change to elf, and get a job with Santa at the FUCKING NORTH POLE! > > later, Tom. > [@perfectparanoia](#): > > A-fucking-men! > > I was at the dollar store the other day so I thought I would check out their Hallowe’en stuff (which is normally awesome) and there is only a half an aisle left. They have two full isles of seasonal stuff and one and a half are already Christmas. I am not even ready for Hallowe’en yet! On the bright side, I was able to score a 4-lb tin of Walker’s shortbread cookies at Costco on Sunday. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/627 "2011-09-28T21:27:47Z")
Hey Dumbass Realtor, You have the wrong number. Stop leaving me voicemails that end with “call me back” and _don’t include a fucking callback number_. Here’s another hint. If you don’t want to leave a number, don’t withhold your number from the Caller ID. I get two messages a day from you saying it’s urgent, but I have absolutely no way to contact you to tell you you’ve got the wrong number. At least I have the satisfaction of knowing your client is gonna be pissed at you because you’re an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Tess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@Tess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/628 "2011-09-28T21:32:06Z")
> [@panman\_1960](#): > > Bahh fucking HumBug!!! > I went to Lowes yesterday at 7am, and as I passed all the Christmas trees and lights and decorations put up inside the entrance, the manager asked me in front of about 10 employees “Hi how are you?”. I responded, “It really sucks that it’s September, and you have all this Christmas SHIT up!” . > And you wonder why nobody gets in the spirit, has depression, stress, and is fully fed up with “The Holidays” by the first week of November. Fucking merchants shoving Christmas season guild up our ass 3 full months before the gifts get opened. BITE ME, oh greedy corporations, trying to beat the other guy to the sale! > Why not just take the white trailer trash approach and leave the shit up all year long? (no offense to folks living in modular housing) If I wanted to have Christmas all year long, I’d go have a gender change to elf, and get a job with Santa at the FUCKING NORTH POLE! > > later, Tom. They’ve got Halloween stuff too, right? You need to buddy up to one of the employees (a younger one if you can) and convince them to redo the display into a Nightmare Before Christmas-esque motif. One of my co-workers also works at a Lowe’s and I’ve nearly persuaded her. A few more days and I should have her. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/629 "2011-09-28T22:08:07Z")
**overly** , my grandboss pulled the same crap when Mr. Shoe and I first took in our Guy On Couch. (“Oh, that’s such a good, Christian thing to do!”) I like being employed, so I stayed silent. (Man, I just realized dude’s been staying with us since July!) We make a happy little atheist household: two cats, Guy On Couch, the Other Shoe, and me. Well, the cats might be theists, but I suspect that they think we worship _them._ What does that make them? ---
**Author:** ![Alpine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpine/32/17813_2.png) [@Alpine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpine)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/630 "2011-09-29T00:34:12Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > What does that make them? Is this a trick question? Um, deities? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/631 "2011-09-29T00:39:02Z")
> [@eenerms](#): > > Damn bunion. :mad: REPRESENT. I am three billion years too young for this shit! Now get the hell off my lawn. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/632 "2011-09-29T01:22:12Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > We make a happy little atheist household: two cats, Guy On Couch, the Other Shoe, and me. Well, the cats might be theists, but I suspect that they think we worship _them._ What does that make them? Normal cats? ---
**Author:** ![Sally\_Mander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@Sally\_Mander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sally_Mander)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/633 "2011-09-29T01:51:06Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > She seems to be eating the pill crushed up in a bit of wet cat food - fingers crossed. Make sure the pills can be crushed. Sometimes they’re those time-release pills that should not be crushed. That said, I’ve always had good luck with the jarred baby food meat for getting pills into the furry little bastards. Mine refuse their regular wet food when it’s been ‘contaminated’ with pills, so I use the baby food. It’s meat, but the consistency of pudding. They love it. > [@overlyverbose](#): > > …one of whom was a woman who kept saying, “I’m a Christian. That’s why I stopped - I’m a good Christian woman. I just felt I had to.” > > Ok, explain to me how this is relevant. The guy got into a fucking accident. Right in front of us. If someone may be hurt, you should stop and make sure they’re ok, right, regardless of whether you’re Christian or vegetarian or Rastafarian (yes, I’m being facetious)? Right?? No, it’s not relevant at all. In fact, the way I was taught was that you’re not supposed to go around bragging to others about the good deeds you do. Just do it, and shut up about it. God knows what you’ve done, and that’s enough. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/634 "2011-09-29T02:08:01Z")
Why, oh, why, when my family/household lose something, do they look to me expecting me to find it?! You would think that they’d all be sick and tired of hearing some variation of “I don’t know/I didn’t lose it/not my problem/go look for it…” And why won’t my husband learn - from repeated experience - that toddlers love to play with stuff, break it, or lose it. The remote, his phone, watch, and keys, and today, his pocket clip (atm card, license, work ID, passkey, and fuel card… Yeah, try putting stuff out. Of. Her. Reach. Also, in my experience, the more loudly and often someone proclaims his religion, the higher the chance they’re gonna screw me over. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/635 "2011-09-29T03:46:01Z")
> [@YoSaffBridge](#): > > Make sure the pills can be crushed. Sometimes they’re those time-release pills that should not be crushed. That said, I’ve always had good luck with the jarred baby food meat for getting pills into the furry little bastards. Mine refuse their regular wet food when it’s been ‘contaminated’ with pills, so I use the baby food. It’s meat, but the consistency of pudding. They love it.\ I’m operating on the theory that since I have to cut the pills in half, that they aren’t time-release pills - I’ll have to check on that. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/636 "2011-09-29T07:03:27Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > My Corolla is also silver - I drive with my headlights on ALL THE TIME because so many people treat a small silver car like it isn’t there (we call it “Driving in stealth mode”). I have wondered if it’s legal to outline my car in reflective tape or something so people will actually notice it. Ask DoT, I was thinking of changing my car’s color (may still do it, since I don’t want to change it until the next time there’s a government offer) and that’s what I did. Turns out that, since my car is old enough that its papers don’t list the color, all I have to do is get it painted, no “modifications” to file - and that’s in Spain, where anything bigger than a country-code sticker counts as a modification and requires filing 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/637 "2011-09-29T12:57:02Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > Also, in my experience, the more loudly and often someone proclaims his religion, the higher the chance they’re gonna screw me over. Reminds me of something I saw the other day… a van with the words _GOD’S GRACE: Heating and AC Service_. Even around here that rates a WTF. I want to know why some of these ladies at work can’t shut up! It sounds like someone is killing a coop full of chickens. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![bunnymom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c4cdca/32.png) [@bunnymom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bunnymom)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/638 "2011-09-29T16:51:33Z")
Crap. My husband’s bosses wife just found me on Facebook. Its not that I don’t like her, she’s a really nice person and she & the boss have been good to us. Its just that now I feel like I have to be careful what I post because she is rather typically South Texas right wing. God, guns, and barely veiled bigotry. And I am not. Also looking forward (not) to lots of unpleasant posts and forwards and “REPOST THIS!” -es…Grrr… Maybe time to make a alias account? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/639 "2011-09-29T16:59:09Z")
Somedays I hate Humans. Petty, stupid, selfish and cruel. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/640 "2011-09-29T17:00:56Z")
And the October mini rants thread had damn well use the word **Octoberama**. Just because. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847.md?page=31) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847.md?page=33)