# The \*REAL\* start of the year! September mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 1, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847 "2011-09-01T15:24:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/121 "2011-09-04T01:56:49Z")
After ten minutes of online chat with my internet provider, we arrived at the conclusion that the reason I couldn’t log onto their website to see my account is because my browser is causing the problem. _Internet Explorer_ is causing a problem with _my internet provider_ website log-on. No other online account has a problem with IE, but Comcast can’t seem to figure out how to interface with IE. So I had to download Google Chrome in order to gain access. My mind is still boggling at this. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/122 "2011-09-04T02:06:55Z")
I’m on Comcast using IE. They’re full of shit. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/123 "2011-09-04T04:16:58Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > D’oh:smack: Of course she is. There was only a 1 in 10 chance that she was male, going by her beautiful colors (we call that muted calico here).\ Well, she’s muted compared to a Siamese, but she’s still pretty mouthy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/124 "2011-09-04T04:19:56Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I’m on Comcast using IE. They’re full of shit. They might be, but I couldn’t log on with IE no matter what I tried. When I tried Google Chrome, I got on immediately. I actually dislike IE9 with its pop-ups and bullshit. Chrome is really fast, so I may stick with it and ditch the MS product. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/125 "2011-09-04T13:50:50Z")
How many years is that bipolar PSA with Mark Harmon going to run before someone somewhere realizes that it’s screwed up? ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/126 "2011-09-04T14:19:27Z")
> [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](#): > > How many years is that bipolar PSA with Mark Harmon going to run before someone somewhere realizes that it’s screwed up? Screwed up how? His sister is pretty famously bipolar (he and his wife tried to get custody of her youngest when she was off her meds and not doing well) so I’m sure it’s a cause close to his heart. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/127 "2011-09-04T16:02:52Z")
The ad starts with Mark Harmon saying, “Bipolar is a disease that”, and then gets cut off. It has never, anytime I’ve ever seen it, run all the way through. And it’s been years this thing has been running. IME, that means that whoever produced it mislabled it with the wrong length and it gets entered into the tv station’s system incorrectly then, too. But good Lord! No one seems to catch this error? Not the tv station? Not the organization that’s paying for the PSA? (But, seriously, you thought I was criticizing the fact that it’s about bipolar?) ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/128 "2011-09-04T16:21:48Z")
Here in Canada the Bank of Nova Scotia is advertising “The First Ever Money-Back Bank Account”. I’d ask if they’d ever heard of interest, but that’d be a stupid question. Paying interest on bank account balances is a completely foreign concept to brick-and-mortar banks. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/129 "2011-09-04T17:41:57Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I’m sorry, you’re going to have to return that dog as defective. No self-respecting dog could pass up the opportunity to ROLL in a ripe squishy corpse. Oh, she tried. I short-leashed her every time we went past the possum. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/130 "2011-09-04T17:53:05Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Lice lay eggs (nits) which hatch in about two weeks. You probably got MOST of the nits, but not all of them. I’ve only had to deal with lice once (but it was a nightmare), but I was combing out nits for days. There’s a very good reason why the military used to shave all its recruits bald…lice can make people miserable and they’re very mobile. You and your daughter would probably prefer to avoid shaving your heads, but you’re going to have to go through the delousing process at least once more, and possibly twice. There’s a prescription shampoo (Kwell) that is supposed to be more effective than OTC stuff, but it’s more dangerous too. It’s an insecticide, after all. > > Start combing out nits again, with a metal nit comb, as well as going through the cleaning. Also, if your daughter has stuffed toys that can’t be put through the hot cycle in the washer, they need to be sealed in a plastic bag for at least two weeks. > > I’m sorry, you’re going to have to return that dog as defective. No self-respecting dog could pass up the opportunity to ROLL in a ripe squishy corpse. Yeah, I’ve become an expert. I even quarenteened her room for 2 weeks. We’ve been checking with the metal comb every other day. Somehow, somewhere, one was missed. I think the second wave of getting rid of them helped and hopefully it’s the last time. I’m pitting the asshole lice because they are just that: assholes!! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/131 "2011-09-04T17:57:20Z")
> [@Rysto](#): > > Here in Canada the Bank of Nova Scotia is advertising “The First Ever Money-Back Bank Account”. I’d ask if they’d ever heard of interest, but that’d be a stupid question. Paying interest on bank account balances is a completely foreign concept to brick-and-mortar banks. They’re hoping no one is old enough to remember getting some serious interest rates on your savings accounts. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/132 "2011-09-04T18:16:55Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > Oh, she tried. I short-leashed her every time we went past the possum. As predicted, Mr. Possum became a pancake overnight. This morning, the yellow jackets started swarming (they’re meat eaters). Animal Control finally showed up and the woman was afraid of being stung, so it was quite the dance going on out there. After she left, my wife dumped some bleach on the spot and hosed it, but the bees are still swarming as I type this. If I had wasp spray, I’d use it, but I’m not going near that otherwise. Unfortunately this is a bike boulevard; hopefully, nobody will get stung. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/133 "2011-09-04T21:10:47Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > They might be, but I couldn’t log on with IE no matter what I tried. When I tried Google Chrome, I got on immediately. I actually dislike IE9 with its pop-ups and bullshit. Chrome is really fast, so I may stick with it and ditch the MS product. See, Comcast is just looking out for your best interests! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FrancisCastle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b4bc9f/32.png) [@FrancisCastle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrancisCastle)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/134 "2011-09-04T21:21:26Z")
I was so hungry when I got up this morning. I thought maybe I should try to eat. The kids wanted Dairy Queen for lunch, and I love their chicken strips, so it sounded like a great idea. One strip and a few fries in, I’m sick. Fuck you gallbladder, I just want to eat again!! I’m sick of being sick. :mad:☹ ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/135 "2011-09-04T22:53:34Z")
What the fuck?! OW! Hey! OW! OOWWWWWWW!!! :eek: :mad: So it’s 9am, I decide to go mow the lawn before its gets hot. Less than five minutes into it, something stings me on the leg. Then another. I haul ass across the yard, but guess what? I’m still being stung! I can _feel_ something crawling on me. No, theres more than one! OWWWWWW!!! FUCKERS!!!. So I run, stripping off my shirt and shorts as I go. I arrive at the front door naked save my shoes, and blow through the door like my ass is on fire. I take stock of the damage. Nine stings, don’t know what kind, but no singers left in the wound… but I sure stirred up and pissed them right off. Never been allergic to bee/wasps stings before, but guess where I ended up? Yep. Spending my Sunday in urgent care. :mad: Little fuckers. Whenever you guys figure out the payload delivery issues (now that shuttle program has been scrapped), let me know; I’ll give you the coordinates. We need to be sure with these bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/136 "2011-09-04T23:38:12Z")
I will bet you good money those were [yellowjackets](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellowjacket). They frequently nest in the ground, they are aggressive as hell, and they can sting multiple times without dying. I’ve heard many stories of people mowing the lawn and getting attacked by multiple yellowjackets - or worse, hundreds, if it was a large colony and the person (elderly, typically) couldn’t get away quickly. One of the little bastards stung me in my back about a dozen times when I was in college, and my breathing was restricted but not seriously. I’ll gladly contribute to the “nuke the bastards from orbit” fund. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/137 "2011-09-04T23:39:49Z")
Garden spray bottle. Water. Dish soap. Spray the fuckers in the air. It knocks them down and they cannot fly again. Step on them. It doesn’t rile up all the other ones. I guess the soap blocks any ANGRY MUST DEFEND STING ATTACK signals they want to put out. About 10 years ago in my old house I had a basketball sized hornet/wasp nest about 30 feet up in a tree that I couldn’t get to. Over the course of about two weeks I killed several hundred wasps using this method, about 40-60 at a time. Years before that we had one of the open fan/mushroom shaped ones on the front of my parent’s farm house. I took care of it the same way, and could get close enough to douse the nest thoroughly and then knock it down. Did not get stung even once in either event. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/138 "2011-09-04T23:43:21Z")
> [@Lancia](#): > > Nine stings, don’t know what kind, but no singers left in the wound… but I sure stirred up and pissed them right off. Never been allergic to bee/wasps stings before, but guess where I ended up? Yep. Spending my Sunday in urgent care. :mad: > > Little fuckers. > > Whenever you guys figure out the payload delivery issues (now that shuttle program has been scrapped), let me know; I’ll give you the coordinates. We need to be sure with these bastards. Says bad words for you. Do you have [these fuckers](http://museum2.utep.edu/chih/theland/animals/invertebrates/insects/tarantulahawk.htm) where you live? I got stung by one of them once, it was terrible and ramped up my allergies enough that I’m now carrying an eppy pen for wasp stings. Second edit is because I don’t usually use bad words, but those fuckers piss me off enough that I could make a Marine blush. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/139 "2011-09-04T23:47:30Z")
> [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](#): > > I’m pitting the asshole lice because they are just that: assholes!! I would not want asshole lice. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847/140 "2011-09-05T00:09:05Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I will bet you good money those were [yellowjackets](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellowjacket). They frequently nest in the ground, they are aggressive as hell, and they can sting multiple times without dying. I’ve heard many stories of people mowing the lawn and getting attacked by multiple yellowjackets - or worse, hundreds, if it was a large colony and the person (elderly, typically) couldn’t get away quickly. > > One of the little bastards stung me in my back about a dozen times when I was in college, and my breathing was restricted but not seriously. > > I’ll gladly contribute to the “nuke the bastards from orbit” fund. Stupidly, I went looking for the nest. From 40 feet away I could see a small swarm hovering next to the ground. The nest looked either in or on the ground, sorta tucked in underneath a big lilac bush. I went into the neighbor’s yard, and sneaked a peek from next to the lilac. I could see a hole in the ground about the size of a silver dollar. There were half a dozen or so of the little shits buzzing around. I didn’t get the greatest look, but they looked noticeably orange, not yellow, almost like a honey bee, and were about the size of a common paper wasp. I’ve been stung by a paper wasp, and it didn’t hurt much – in fact, that time I did’my know I had been stung. This felt like lit gasoline being poured into an open wound. Multiple times. :mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-real-start-of-the-year-september-mini-rants/594847.md?page=8)