# The really, really, REALLY bad advice thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [July 13, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548 "2010-07-13T16:36:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/21 "2010-07-13T17:15:30Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > _If wives don’t like being treated like prostitutes, why don’t more people marry prostitutes?_ Blue waffles. [spoiler] [http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f149/blue-waffle-infection-really-gross-42939/[/spoiler]](http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f149/blue-waffle-infection-really-gross-42939/%5B/spoiler%5D) ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/22 "2010-07-13T17:17:06Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > _The guy sharing my table at the coffeehouse is writing in some weird non-English writing. He says he is studying Arabic for school, and he has textbooks and junk, and we’re right across the street from Vanderbilt University which has an Arabic studies program, but I’m still suspicious. What should I do?_ Exchange his backpack for this one: [Does This Make My Bomb Look Big :: Random Images - Fugly](http://www.fugly.com/pictures/19289/does_this_make_my_bomb_look_big.html) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/23 "2010-07-13T17:46:27Z")
> [@may\_be\_ignorant](#): > > _My Aunt is talking about murdering her husband. I don’t know if she’s joking. What should I do?_ Give her a gun and see what she does. That way you’ll know for sure. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Need answer fast. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/24 "2010-07-13T17:48:12Z")
[oog]Moved MPSIMS --\> The Game Room. [/oog] ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/25 "2010-07-13T17:52:05Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Need answer fast. Just one. Attach food-type-product to a drill. Switch on drill. Stick out tongue. Connect the two. _Anyone want to handle my question above? (#7)_ ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/26 "2010-07-13T17:56:24Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > _My neck is itchy. Need help fast!_ You’re not doing enough meth if it’s just your neck. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/27 "2010-07-13T17:57:40Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > _My neck is itchy. Need help fast!_ Scratch it with a Tootsie Roll Pop on a drill. Should I fear Communism? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/28 "2010-07-13T18:16:52Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > _Every morning at 5:30, my neighbor’s cat begins to caterwaul. I know this because I get up at 5:15 for my morning run and can hear it as I run out of the house. I’m worried the cat will disturb my rest if I ever decide to skip the the run. What should I do?_ Crossbows are pretty cheap and easy to use. > [@tdn](#): > > Should I fear Communism? No. Since its Godless there isn’t really anything to fear. _How do I stop a 60 second fuse? Need answer fast_ ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/29 "2010-07-13T18:17:25Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Should I fear Communism? Yes. Communists are going to attack you with weapons of mass destruction. You should use duct tape and plastic to seal up your home so that they can’t get you with their chemical and biological weapons. Make sure you have no business dealings with anyone who looks like they might come from a Communist country. Don’t eat at Korean restaurants or shop at Korean groceries, because the owners might be North Korean Communists. Don’t talk to anyone who looks Asian or has an Asian-sounding name, in case they are a North Korean Communist. The Internet has other helpful tips for avoiding possibly contaminating contact with Communists as well. Email forwards are a particularly reliable source, the more people they have been forwarded to, the better. That’s why you should always leave all the headers on your email forwards, so the people getting them know they are reliable. If such a message tells you not to go somewhere or buy a certain product, of course you should listen. You should also practice ducking under your desk and covering the back of your neck with your hands, in case they decide to come after you with nuclear weapons. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/30 "2010-07-13T18:19:28Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > _My neck is itchy. Need help fast!_ Serrated knife; a really sharp and ragged one. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/31 "2010-07-13T18:22:58Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > _How do I stop a 60 second fuse? Need answer fast_ Give me a minute to think of something… The seems to be some activity, quite possibly a bustle, which is occurring in my favorite hedgerow. I think this is alarming, but should I really be concerned? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/32 "2010-07-13T18:31:41Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > The seems to be some activity, quite possibly a bustle, which is occurring in my favorite hedgerow. I think this is alarming, but should I really be concerned? If her legs are together ignore it ------- it will go away. or Not unless it is packing a K-98. (Depends on what you mean by hedgerow) ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/33 "2010-07-13T18:37:25Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > Blue waffles. **FoieGrasIsEvil** , please remember to label, and break the link or spoiler-tag any links that aren’t safe for work! I doubt that one’s safe for anyone who’s recently had lunch as well. **Ellen Cherry MPSIMS Moderator** ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/34 "2010-07-13T18:39:45Z")
I want to go on a diet. Low-carb diets make me stabby. What would be a good diet plan? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/35 "2010-07-13T18:43:19Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > I want to go on a diet. Low-carb diets make me stabby. What would be a good diet plan? Chocolate and whiskey. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/36 "2010-07-13T18:43:28Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > **FoieGrasIsEvil** , please remember to label, and break the link or spoiler-tag any links that aren’t safe for work! > > I doubt that one’s safe for anyone who’s recently had lunch as well. > > **Ellen Cherry > MPSIMS Moderator** _I just finished a big fish&chips lunch and my boss is at the next desk - but I am really curious. Should I go back and click that link since I didn’t do it before?_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/37 "2010-07-13T18:45:35Z")
Why the hell not? If your boss can’t take a NSFW link, he shouldn’t be working with you… It’s really pouring out and I don’t have an umbrella. Should I walk home without one? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/38 "2010-07-13T18:46:51Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > (Depends on what you mean by hedgerow) The kind that’s sort of like a brush fence, as referenced in _Stairway to Heaven_. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/39 "2010-07-13T18:56:14Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > The kind that’s sort of like a brush fence, as referenced in _Stairway to Heaven_. Never saw the show. So I’m betting its a Nazi - just toss in a grenade and see what happens. \*I keep hearing voices in my head but they speak another language and I don’t know what to do. Good online translation sites anyone? \* ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548/40 "2010-07-13T19:01:13Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Why the hell not? If your boss can’t take a NSFW link, he shouldn’t be working with you.. > > It’s really pouring out and I don’t have an umbrella. Should I walk home without one? If you like, you could carry your clothes home in a waterproof bag and walk home nude. Not many people know this but the laws about public indecency have to make an exception for anyone who can prove they’re publically unclothed for a legitimate reason, including using the rain as a shower. If the police try to detain you, tell them that you’re protected by the 10th Amendment as a Natural Citizen and they have to let you go. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-really-really-really-bad-advice-thread/546548.md?page=3)