# The Redskins: I need a metaphor **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 25, 2001, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691 "2001-09-25T14:30:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/21 "2001-09-26T18:07:12Z")
I just checked out the poll. Assuming that they aren’t kidding, I’d like to find the 209 people that said that Kent Graham **is** the long term QB solution in Washington and see if they will share their drugs with me. ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/22 "2001-09-26T18:19:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\* > Redskins = Rs = GM/c2 > > That’s the formula for determining the Schwarzchild radius of a black hole. > > \*\* I think it’s the **Schottenheimer** radius described here. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/23 "2001-09-26T19:08:40Z")
Back when Jerky Jones first bought the Cowboys, they went 1 and 15. Remember who their one win was over? Yep. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/24 "2001-09-26T19:30:30Z")
Well, it’s official: we signed Graham. Whoopee. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/25 "2001-09-27T22:28:40Z")
_(Impersonating Jay Leno)_ You mean the second-best pro football team in D.C.? It’s so bad in Washington, Native Americans are now protesting the team name, not because it’s derogatory, but because they don’t want to be associated with that degree of suckage. They’re so bad, that the Doctors who performed the latest mechanical heart transplant have been hired by Redskin management over a long-term deal. Everybody has seen the fans in the stands wearing the paper bags over their heads to hide their faces, well the Redskins are so bad… the _cheerleaders_ are now wearing them. Drug testing in the NFL? Forget the players, someone should get samples from the Redskin management, coaches, and front office staff. In the bleacher section known as the “Pig Sty”, the fans that call themselves “The Hogs” have changed their name to “The Runts.” _{/Jay Leno}_ Well - not exactly metaphors… [sub]sorry, I’ll go now…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/26 "2001-09-27T22:47:28Z")
They more than suck. They swallow. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/27 "2001-09-29T00:19:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > \*\*But I beg to differ. The Redskins suck so bad that, rather than getting sucked into a black hole (which would be fitting and just), they could suck a black hole _into them_. \*\* Ah, but at least if they had a black hole on the team we’d have one receiver with good hands. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/28 "2001-09-29T00:52:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > if they had a black hole on the team we’d have one receiver with good hands. Ain’t _that_ the truth? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/29 "2001-09-29T02:46:00Z")
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D **Gloat** Hehehehehehehe! (lifelong 'skins hater) ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/30 "2001-09-29T03:10:37Z")
Go 'way, kid, ya bother me. ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/31 "2001-09-29T04:19:52Z")
What part of “lost to the Bengals” don’t you understand? ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/32 "2001-09-29T04:23:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spritle \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > > \*\*Redskins = Rs = GM/c2 > > > > That’s the formula for determining the Schwarzchild radius of a black hole. > > \*\* > > I think it’s the **Schottenheimer** radius described here. \*\* I just have to give props to **Spritle** for that one. It still cracks me up every time I reread this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/33 "2001-09-29T05:25:17Z")
I hear Dan Snyder is buying everyone on the team a year supply of Vagisil. Can anyone confirm or deny? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/34 "2001-10-02T04:01:15Z")
At least we’ve got company in the toilet this year! 😃 And I hope Dan Snyder extends the Vagisil offer to the 'Boys, because they’re gonna need it after the ramming they got from Philly. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Philosophocles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Philosophocles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philosophocles)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/35 "2001-10-02T06:15:47Z")
Redskins offense vs. Cowboys defense, Cowboys offense vs. Redskins defense and Redskins special teams vs. Cowboys special teams: The absent force versus the perpetually moving object. You know things are going bad when a QB who completes 11 of 27 passes (albeit with some drops) is your MVP of the game. You know things are going bad when Tony Banks is an upgrade at starting QB. This year’s Redskins vs. Cowboys will be akin to the interdivisional rivalry of the 1981(?) 2-14 Colts and 1-15 Patriots. Stupor Bowl I and II. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691/36 "2001-10-02T17:04:16Z")
The Redskins should **become** the metaphor for ineptitude and underachievement. “Jones, we’re letting you go. Your performance with the company the last 12 months has been absolutely **'skinsian.** ” If that doesn’t work, try this: “Not letting the Lions be the most hapless team in the NFL without a fight!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-redskins-i-need-a-metaphor/83691.md?page=1)