No more Mr. Nice Guy
I’ve got to state my business pal
Get out of my life but first
Get outta my gal
My dog bit me on the leg today
My cat clawed my eyes
Ma’s been thrown out of the social circle
And dad has to hide
I went to church incognito
When everybody ro-ose
The reverend Smith, he recognized me
and punched me in the nose
He said “no more Mr. Nice Guy”
No more Mr. Clea-hee-hee-heen
No more Mr. Nice guy
He’s sick, he’s obsce-hee-hee-heen
So messed up I want you here
In my room I want you here
Now we’re gonna be face to face
And I’ll lay right down in my favorite place
Now I wanna be your dog
But the dogs, oh yes the dogs
they just lick your face as they see it
And yet the dogs. well, they’re only dogs
and maybe that’s why
they’re man’s best friend
Thank you for being a friend,
Travel down the road and back again.
Your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant.
Here we go again
I thought that you were my friend
Ah, you’re my best friend
And I love you so well
Till the end of time you won’t see me
Ah, you’re my best friend
When I see you, it seems
Now I can see I’ve fallen into your love stream
Follow your dream
Do you know what I mean, yeah
Ooh you make me live
Whatever this world can give to me
It’s you you’re all I see
Ooo you make me live, now honey
Ooo you make me live.
Ooh you’re the best friend that I ever had
I’ve been with you such a long time
You’re my sunshine and I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
Oh you’re my best friend.
People let me tell you 'bout my best friend,
He’s a warm-hearted person who’ll love me till the end.
People let me tell you 'bout my best friend,
He’s a one-boy cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy.
I got a girl with a little rubber head
Rinse her out every night before I go to bed
Eyes are all closed in a ecstasy face
You can cram it down her throat, keep it any old place.
Never talks back like a lady might do
And she looks like she’s loving it every time I get through
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful it’s true
Never had no date
That you didn’t inflate
And you smell disgusting too
When all the flower ladies want back what they have lent you
And the smell of their roses does not remain
And all of your children start to resent you
Won’t you come see me, Queen Jane?
What in the world ever became of sweet Jane?
She stands all alone
you can hear her hum softly
From her fire escape in the sky
She fills the bags 'neath her eyes
with the moonbeams
And cries cos the world’s passed her by
Let her cry, for she’s a lady
let her dream, for she’s a child
let the rain fall down upon her
She’s a free and gentle flower,
growing wild
I’ve been looking for a woman to save my life
Not to beg or to borrow
A woman with the feeling of losing once or twice
Who knows how could it be tomorrow?
It ain’t me, babe
No, no, no it ain’t me babe
It ain’t me you’re looking for
Just got home from Illinois, lock the front door, oh boy!
Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch.
Imagination sets in, pretty soon I’m singin’,
Doo, doo, doo, lookin’ out my back door.
This old porch is a steaming greasy plate of enchiladas
With lots of cheese and onion and a guacamole salad
Plop plop, fizz fizz,
Oh, what a relief it is.