# The return of Altered Song Titles **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 29, 2006, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624 "2006-06-29T13:08:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/1 "2006-06-29T13:08:56Z")
This was one of my favorite threads evah, and I remember it being a few years ago. The idea is, change one letter in a song title to reveal a whole new concept. You could also drop or add one letter, but use only one of the options. I was pretty proud of my past submission: **PABA, O’Riley** - The Who’s caution to a fair-skinned Irishman And a couple new ones: **In Your Ewes** - Peter Gabriel’s attempt to answer the age-old question, “Where do lambs come from?” **The Ghost of Tom Toad** - Bruce Springsteen’s sequel to the immortal [“Tom the Toad”](http://www.scoutsongs.com/lyrics/tomthetoad.html) **Bad Dad** - Daniel Powter’s heart-wrenching tale of child emotional abuse, written in the style of Dr. Seuss ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/2 "2006-06-29T13:21:33Z")
**Hey Yak** - The song by Outkast that reveals his proclivites for shaggy ungulates. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/3 "2006-06-29T15:37:12Z")
“Stupid Gills” - Pink’s despairing ode to her malfunctioning diving gear “A Thousand Mimes” - Vanessa Carlton delves into everyone’s worst nightmare “Dong for the Lonely” - Cher offers the services of her and her strap-on for the sake of those in need ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/4 "2006-06-29T17:33:14Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] “Dong for the Lonely” - Cher offers the services of her and her strap-on for the sake of those in need [/QUOTE] Brilliant!!! ROFLMAO Brilliant!!! ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/5 "2006-06-29T17:55:14Z")
**LL Cool J: Control My Elf** - James gets jiggy with the little people **Kanye West: Old Digger** - Paean to the British coal mining industry **Black Eyed Peas: Where Is the Glove?** - Frustration strikes the Peas’ skiing holiday **Lupe Fiasco: Kick Bush** - Rapper sides with the Democrats and a few classics: **The Beatles: Love Me Dog** - Plea to a cat lover **Bob Dylan: Maggie’s Fart** - Just blowin’ in the wind… **R.E.M.: Find the Liver** - A favourite with trainee surgeons ---
**Author:** ![Clockwork\_And\_Candy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b782af/32.png) [@Clockwork\_And\_Candy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clockwork_And_Candy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/6 "2006-06-29T18:00:33Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] “Stupid Gills” - Pink’s despairing ode to her malfunctioning diving gear “A Thousand Mimes” - Vanessa Carlton delves into everyone’s worst nightmare “Dong for the Lonely” - Cher offers the services of her and her strap-on for the sake of those in need [/QUOTE] I don’t mean to spam the thread, seeing as I have nothing of my own to contribute (I fail at funny), but this actually made me laugh out loud. That was really good. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/7 "2006-06-29T18:04:04Z")
[QUOTE=Colophon] **Kanye West: Old Digger** - Paean to the British coal mining industry [/QUOTE] Or, of course, it might be dedicated to Rupert Murdoch… ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/8 "2006-06-29T18:42:26Z")
[QUOTE=Colophon] **LL Cool J: Control My Elf** - James gets jiggy with the little people [/QUOTE] Heh. Reminds me of a couple of favorites: **Loin It** : LL experiments with the other white meat It doesn’t work out and the result is **Goin’ Back to Calf** : LL vows to eat veal, and only veal from now on ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/9 "2006-06-29T19:00:25Z")
[QUOTE=Colophon] **R.E.M.: Find the Liver** - A favourite with trainee surgeons [/QUOTE] 😃 **El Condor Pasta** - Simon and Garfunkel’s homage to a variant on chicken fettucini Joni Mitchell waxes nostalgic about an former lover, the overweight and jaundiced **Big Yellow Tami**. She is a little more vitriolic about Tami’s hogging of the whole bed in **Both Sides, Sow**. ---
**Author:** ![ErinPuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dbc845/32.png) [@ErinPuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ErinPuff)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/10 "2006-06-29T19:11:10Z")
From a quick look through my iTunes library: Man of La Mancha: “The Impossible Cream” - Don Quixote takes up, uh… baking. Avenue Q: “The Internet is Fox Porn” - one for the “topics it’s hard to Google” thread Barenaked Ladies: “One Peek” - an ode to stalking okay, uh… “Mon Beau Sapin” is “O Christmas Tree” in French. “Mon Beau Lapin” would be “my beautiful rabbit.” Dar Williams - “When I Was a Goy” - a convert to Judaism recalls her past The Decemberists - “The Sporking Life” - a song about an assassin who kills people with utensils The Last Five Years - “A Summer in Opio” - drug smuggling in Latin America RENT - “What You Pwn” - Roger and Mark play games online RENT - “Pout Tonight” - Mimi is going to sit at home and be emo Dido - “Wife for Rent” - when money gets tight… Paul Simon - “You Can Call Me Aly” - a song about a transvestite Rufus Wainwright - “I Don’t Know What ‘Is’ Is” - sung by Bill Clinton ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/11 "2006-06-29T19:22:01Z")
[QUOTE=ErinPuff] Rufus Wainwright - “I Don’t Know What ‘Is’ Is” - sung by Bill Clinton [/QUOTE] Nicely done! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/12 "2006-06-29T20:15:52Z")
Billy Joel: Plano Man, a song about a guy and his tackle box. Black Eyed Peas: My Chumps, a dance floor favorite with the overtly gullible ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/13 "2006-06-29T20:54:55Z")
Some Beatle songs: “Why Don’t We Do It In The Load?” - A Dump Truck Operator’s suggestion to a Hitch-Hiker. “Me Moonlight” - Sioux brave introduces himself “Jello, Goodbye” - Fond remembrances of the Chinese restaurant buffet desserts. “Long, Long, Dong”… I think I’ve done enough. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/14 "2006-06-29T21:52:42Z")
Cold McDonald-A childrens song about a farmer who has trouble showing his emotions. Punnin’ with the Devil- Van Halen’s take on Satans favorite Pit jokes. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/15 "2006-06-30T13:03:45Z")
**Gil, You’ll Be a Woman Soon** - Neil Diamond’s reassurance to his pre-op friend **I’m a Reliever** - his response to [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=377120) ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/16 "2006-06-30T13:22:19Z")
Sledge Hamper- Peter Gabriel does the laundry. Welcome To The Jingle- Guns ‘N Roses do a Christmas Album Hells Bills- AC/DC lamenting over Satan’s financial situation ---
**Author:** ![BadBadger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BadBadger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBadger)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/17 "2006-06-30T14:03:59Z")
**Spade Oddity** - Where Bowie contemplates garden instruments **I will always love yop** - finds Whitney whistling up a new milkshake \*\* I wanna fold your hand\*\* - for unconsolable poker players everywhere \*\* Puff the manic dragon\*\* - burns down the local diner after drinking 50 bottles of bud and dancing to Jolene ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/18 "2006-06-30T14:18:45Z")
Screaming At Fidelity - Chris Carraba’s frustration at dealing with his finances. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/19 "2006-06-30T22:57:47Z")
**Bark at the Goon** - Ozzy teaches his dog to warn him of approaching hitmen ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624/20 "2006-06-30T23:22:15Z")
_The Devil Went Down on Georgia_–chickachickabowwow And if I might might be permitted a small rules variance, _Fairway to Heaven_–A Golfer’s lament [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-altered-song-titles/362624.md?page=2)