# The Return of Dopeka! (Kansas City Dopefest) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 2, 2002, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009 "2002-08-02T13:24:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/21 "2002-08-10T14:18:41Z")
Dopefests are gatherings of Dopers in the same general area (and sometimes not so general). I haven’t been to one yet but I understand it’s just a casual party atmosphere at most of the fests. Oh, and you have to give all the other Dopers a dollar when you meet them. Two dollars if they’re more pathetic or uglier than you. 🙂 Email SkipMagic at [skipmagic@kc.rr.com](mailto:skipmagic@kc.rr.com) if you’d like to come. The more the merrier. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/22 "2002-08-10T15:02:56Z")
lol-- i would have lots’o’money as i am homely – too bad i have to work, i would be up for a road trip and i am always ready for a good time. anyone ever had a dopefest in iowa? ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/23 "2002-08-10T21:20:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > **Dopefests are gatherings of Dopers in the same general area (and sometimes not so general). I haven’t been to one yet but I understand it’s just a casual party atmosphere at most of the fests.** Good Lord, is THAT why you’re all coming over? I just assumed you all understood that you’d be helping me build my porches and painting my house. Party? Not until you get the work done, thank you very much. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/24 "2002-08-10T22:30:30Z")
\*\*SkipMagic, \*\* I’m eating all the pie myself if I have to paint! Seriously, I am so looking forward to tomorrow. \*\*auntie em \*\* and I will be in seperate cars but will be following each other. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/25 "2002-08-10T22:46:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*\*\*SkipMagic, \*\* I’m eating all the pie myself if I have to paint! Seriously, I am so looking forward to tomorrow. \*\*auntie em \*\* and I will be in seperate cars but will be following each other. \*\* Okay, I’m sorry. Really, I am–just don’t take away the pies! Sheesh, one would think that I could get away with a porch or two being rebuilt, but oh no! Not with **Baker**! By the way, what poor excuse for a Straight Doper invited **Auntie Em** to this shindig? I mean, when she gets here all she’ll want to do is listen to Marvin Gaye. 😛 (Besides, I believe the syllabus for the Dopefest clearly stated that only Michael Bolton, Air Supply and Kenny G will be allowed to play on the stereo.) ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/26 "2002-08-11T02:04:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\*(Besides, I believe the syllabus for the Dopefest clearly stated that only Michael Bolton, Air Supply and Kenny G will be allowed to play on the stereo.) \*\* Uuuhh… Ahem. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEE **EEEEEEK!!!** :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Will barf bags and ear plugs be made available? Could we at least play them backwards to see if there’s any hidden Satanic or Microsoft marketing messages? I’ll be sure to bring my entire collection of _5-Year-Old Children With Bagpipes Having Temper Tantrums_ albums. At least Barry Manilow wasn’t on your list (didja ever notice how his initials mean bowel movement? Coincidence? I think not.) Seriously dude, you’ve already got a porch. I’ve seen it in a picture. How many more dead bodies could you possibly have to hide? ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/27 "2002-08-11T02:48:33Z")
Well. Geez. The love in this room, you can just _feel_ it, ya’ know? Or, maybe, I’m wrong and I’m simply… hmmm… wait for it… _Making Love Out of Nothing at All_. Thank you, thank you. I’ll have more, tomorrow. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/28 "2002-08-11T03:13:34Z")
\*\*Horseflesh, \*\* if it’s bagpipes you like I have a of a dual performance by the Coldstream Guards and the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards. This was back when records were made, and when the groups performed at a special concert in Topeka I took the record jacket with me and got a whole bunch of their autographs on it!!! Even went out with one of the guys afterwards. This was a long time ago you understand. But I still like bagpipes. Geeze, though, I hope I haven’t built up too much on my pie. I mean, chocolate and pecans and butter and sugar can’t be all good for you. Maybe a nice, healthy fruit salad…Nahhh! ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/29 "2002-08-11T09:26:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*Seriously dude, you’ve already got a porch. I’ve seen it in a picture. How many more dead bodies could you possibly have to hide? \*\* You are one sick bastard, you know that? Who the hell hides musically moidered dead bodies under porches these days? Really, the whole “hide 'em under concrete” thingy is just a stereotype afflicted upon unsuspecting Italians here in the US of A just because certain members of the local _Costa Nostra_ did indeed hide bodies underneath concrete. Me? I don’t do that. I’m more of an arts and crafts guy _a la_ Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber. No one’s under my porch, but you might think twice about eating any meat pies I made for tomorrow. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/30 "2002-08-11T11:03:40Z")
Arts & crafts guy, huh? I’m betting that means the arms and legs on your couch are a bit on the realistic side. :eek: What are you doing up at this hour? Don’t you know that very strange people will be showing up at your place in less than 8 hours to do Og knows what in and around your humble abode? I see from the Yahoo maps of your home address that there are 2 cemeterys nearby so I s’pose you don’t really need a porch to dispose of your enemies remains. But if I find any human-skin lamps… I’m coming for you, **Skip** , and there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m bringing the three-ring circus with me. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/31 "2002-08-11T11:59:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*I’m coming for you, **Skip** , and there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m bringing the three-ring circus with me. \*\* **Horseflesh** , I’m calling you out, bud. You forget that Kearney is God’s Country, and He doesn’t like circuses. You come in with your children a blazin’ and I’m afraid I just might have to make a [911 call straight to the Supreme Swat Team.](http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0102/phoneoffer.html)🙂 And…I’m up because I actually went to bed early. I’ll try to get back to bed, but now that the cats see that I’m not ignoring them in slumberville, they actually want attention. If they keep me from any more sleep, you guys just might have an extra stew to spoon from today.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/32 "2002-08-12T01:26:09Z")
Well, six Dopers showed up, plus two Dopers-in-training, and a good time was had by all. \*\*SkipMagic \*\* was a great host. You should have seen his fantastic…gas grill! And the grilling tools that went with it. We had good food, swapped stories and histories, and generally relaxed. \*\*Gary T \*\* sang for us, he has a great voice. I had as much fun as I have in a long time, as I don’t get out much to meet new people. Got to do this again!!! ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/33 "2002-08-12T04:32:28Z")
awwwwwwww – i wish i woulda called in sick – my 8 hours today turned into 11.5 !! it sounds like you all had a good time ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/34 "2002-08-12T05:31:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > **SkipMagic was a great host. You should have seen his fantastic…gas grill! And the grilling tools that went with it.** Yeah, but did you notice that only one guy played with the grill? What the heck is that all about? I mean, you’d think that with a grill _that_ size, I’d have, you know, more of the ladies wanting to do things like open/close the lid, turn the knobs and lovingly place things on the extra grill shelf. Nope. None of you women went near it. What. The. Hell? (Maybe the flame went out too soon?) I had a great time, y’all! My Spooky Mansion didn’t eat any of **Horseflesh’s** children like I was hoping it would, but everything turned out well, regardless. **Horseflesh** was the grill guy for the night and he did an excellent job with the boigers! Everyone brought great food (and **Baker** supplied us with her legendary pies–one whole one which is sitting in my fridge right now; maybe you forgot it or maybe you left it on purpose, **Baker** , but you ain’t getting it back now) so now I’ll be eating leftovers for a month. Which, for a single guy who has yet to get off of his butt and learn how to cook, is great! I also want to throw a thanks **Gary T’s** way for bringing his guitar and singing for us. I thought that was pretty damn cool. I’ll get the pictures developed tomorrow and post them on my site. And let me just say now that I’m sure the picture that’ll tickle my kidneys the most will be the one where we’re all standing around the kicthen table, ritually disembowling my cats. I love group activities! ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/35 "2002-08-12T13:23:26Z")
About that kitchen table activity, I want it to be known that I like cats–if they’re cooked right. I certainly enjoyed meeting everyone. It was quite a nice time, even if we didn’t get around to blood croquet. And thanks, Skipmagic, for your gracious hosting. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/36 "2002-08-12T17:53:45Z")
OK, I’ll admit that my 2 spawns were a bit better behaved than normal. Thanks to **GaryT** for introducing them to a game with rubber tipped mallets and heavy wooden balls. I think we narrowly missed a Calvin & Hobbes type incident with them. I enjoyed deflowering your grill **Skip** (cowflesh cooked by Horseflesh. Ha!). I do remember **auntie em** saying she was very jealous of it and wished that she could play with it. Thanks to **Baker** for the chocolate pecan pies. I took the remainder of one home and HorseWife ate some, then took it to work that night and fed some hungry casino people. **GaryT** ’s baked beans were spot on as well and his singing made everything digest that much quicker. The kids and I enjoyed the deviled eggs (no horseradish there, eh?) made by **auntie em**. The Spooky Mansion didn’t seem so spooky to me. No ghosts, no crazed mothers running around, only one hissing cat, but the jungle out back was definitely disturbing. Now I know where you put all the dead bodies. Only one fatality to speak of: my poor deflated bouncy ball. It’s now a lifeless shell lying on the living room floor. Que sera sera. Hmm, how do I translate that to Korean? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/37 "2002-08-12T19:00:10Z")
My Korean’s rusty, but could it be “toi fukt?” ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/38 "2002-08-12T20:42:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gary T \* > \*\*My Korean’s rusty, but could it be “toi fukt?” \*\* 😃 Nope. Checked that out with the Korean translator at [www.wordlingo.com](http://www.wordlingo.com). “Toi fukt” means “My goat’s carburetor needs more postage.” ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/39 "2002-08-12T20:49:18Z")
Er, I mean [http://www.worldlingo.com/products\_services/worldlingo\_translator.html](http://www.worldlingo.com/products_services/worldlingo_translator.html). Oh, and **Baker** , you should check out the [Mac OS Archives](http://www.macosarchives.com/audio_applications.html) for Mac audio applications. Audiocorder sounds like it will do what you want. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009/40 "2002-08-13T02:33:44Z")
I just wanted to chime in that my favorite moment of the Dopefest was when I first came around to the back of the Spooky Mansion and **auntie em** and **Baker** were sitting there. **auntie em** takes one look at my kids and says “You must be Horseflesh.” Nobody’s ever said that to me. I don’t know why that tickled me so. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-dopeka-kansas-city-dopefest/122009.md?page=3)