# The Return of Sarcastic Answer Theater **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 9, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265 "2005-08-09T13:20:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/1 "2005-08-09T13:20:17Z")
[A place for human foetuses in art?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329389) I’ve heard of child prodigies, but this is ridiculous! How do you even intend to get the paintbrush to them? Oh. [Jackass Customer Stories](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329185) I must have told the fellow a million times that we didn’t carry ‘Hee-Haw’ on DVD. [Can you get lung cancer right away from smoking?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329313) Well, if you order now… [I’m bored. Gimme some links](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=328933) If you really think sausage will help… [Overheating on re-entry](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329349) I’d suggest some sort of lubricant. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/2 "2005-08-09T13:21:54Z")
Righteous thread concept! Applause. (no entry as yet, but I’m thinking…) ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/3 "2005-08-09T15:49:04Z")
Need advice on LASEK surgery. Ask Cyclops. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/4 "2005-08-09T15:57:50Z")
\*\*How and why did Windows ME suck? \*\* How? Very skillfully. Why? Because it didn’t want to lose its user base. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/5 "2005-08-09T16:08:50Z")
[What do you call jokes.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329082) Witticisms, or bon mots. [Naked Naked Naked!!!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329413) Great! Put it in neon lights, and I think we’ve got something. [What were the Americas called before the Europeans got here and renamed it?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329112) Ironically, ‘Europe’. THAT was a bit awkward… [What can I do with my laptop?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329350) Oh, lots of things. You can make a hat, or a boat, or a swan… [What Is Your State’s License Plate Numbering Convention?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=326774) The West Virginia BumperCon - over a thousand attendees last year! ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/6 "2005-08-09T16:45:40Z")
- A woman propositioned my husband the other night…\* …And are you disappointed that she didn’t proposition _you_ first? ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/7 "2005-08-09T16:51:21Z")
_Help ID this car!_ What’s in it for me? ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/8 "2005-08-09T16:53:33Z")
**What do you call jokes.** Short stories meant to be funny. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/9 "2005-08-09T16:53:50Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > _Help ID this car!_ > > What’s in it for me? Love it. Love it. Love it. (I had the same reaction to that one.) ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/10 "2005-08-09T18:06:16Z")
_Words you can never spell correctly_ Oh shure. You want me to anserr this thred with wurds I hav trubble speling - but I’m not gonna fall fer yur stoopid littul gaim. Syned A Surtain Commandable In Chief, Vakayshining in Teksis ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/11 "2005-08-09T18:24:47Z")
[Return of The Sarcastic Answer Theater](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329395) What _again?_ How can it return when it never left? ---
**Author:** ![Seren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19adc/32.png) [@Seren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seren)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/12 "2005-08-09T19:38:37Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > I must have told the fellow a million times that we didn’t carry ‘Hee-Haw’ on DVD. [hijack] Best Buy has a few episodes on DVD… They made great Father’s Day gifts…because I don’t live with my parents anymore. 🙂 Mom was _not_ pleased. 😃 [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/13 "2005-08-09T19:38:56Z")
Come on - more! I’ve got none, but these are great and this is a great thread. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/14 "2005-08-09T19:38:54Z")
_Is glass a liquid or a solid ?_ YES !!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VegemiteMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/df788c/32.png) [@VegemiteMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VegemiteMoose)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/15 "2005-08-09T20:12:57Z")
[I’ve Lost My Shower](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329230) That stinks! ---
**Author:** ![wheelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b4bc9f/32.png) [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/16 "2005-08-09T20:47:01Z")
[If a tree falls](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329297), for Og’s sake, get outta the way! [I killed it dead… Now what? ( puter question )](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329367) Get yer shovel ‘n bury it before it starts stinkin’ up da joint. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/17 "2005-08-09T20:49:05Z")
For a fun geography game I know cute oxymorons, too. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/18 "2005-08-09T20:58:05Z")
_ **I’ve Lost My Shower** _ Did you take a shower? Why, is there one missing? LOL 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/19 "2005-08-09T21:00:51Z")
[Einstein’s fish](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329097) Whoops, sorry, Schrödinger’s cat ate it. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/20 "2005-08-09T21:08:34Z")
Pregnant bitch on my front porch You shouldn’t talk about your sister like that. After all, it’s your fault. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265.md?page=2)