# The Return of Sarcastic Answer Theater **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 9, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265 "2005-08-09T13:20:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/81 "2005-08-26T13:54:03Z")
\*\* Raped at the pump again - when will it end? What can we do?\*\* First - change gas stations. Self-service costs less anyway. \*\* 9/11/2001 established “Dubya” as a leader. How?\*\* Well, when the bad stuff happened, everyone suddenly wondered - ‘Hey, who’s President right now, anyway?’ \*\* I just thought someone broke in, so what did I grab?\*\* Well, if it was a Smooth Criminal, and your name is Michael, my money’s on your crotch. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/82 "2005-08-30T05:22:53Z")
\*\*What’s the best way to keep shoes from stinking? \*\* Don’t wear them. \*\*What Can I Feed My Cat To Help Him Gain Weight? \*\* A lot… \*\*My toenail fell out-anything I should do? \*\* Put it under your pillow for the Toenail Fairy \*\*Where be Mars? \*\* YArrrrr… it be in space… ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/83 "2005-08-30T09:27:03Z")
**Give me a New Screen name!** SockUnderBridge **I have nine year old cheddar.** They grow up so fast, don’t they? It seems like only yesterday it was just curds. **My first foul ball! Woohooo!!** Damn, that thing stinks somthing fierce! Put it away already! **Let’s cheer the right-wing smear machine!** Gimme a D! Gimme an I! Gimme an S! Gimme an S! Gimme an E! Gimme an N! Gimme a T! Gimme an E! Gimme an R! What’s that spell? FREEDOM-HATER! YAY!!! **No, YOU fucking think about it.** I say, “fucking think about it,” and you gotta say, “No, YOU fucking think about it”? How childish. **A Very Quick One: Why would you feed a 700 pound relative 20 pieces of chicken?** Hey, alligators gotta eat too. **Discworld Reading club 6: Wyrd Sisters** This is what happens when you cross Twisted Sister with the Pointer Sisters. **"One Week" question** What do you call 7 consecutive days? **Creeped out by being pregnant? Is that normal?** Yeah, if you’re a guy on the _Nostromo_. **Moo!: Questions about breastfeeding** I wouldn’t recommend breastfeeding a cow. **Room entry/exit tracking systems (for want of a sexier title)** Mud or wet paint on the floor work well. **Worst places to meet women** Calvin’s treehouse. **Adults, how much do you use your imagination?** Never. **What do you all know about getting a Masters degree online?** I’ll send you one for only $50. **Car breakdown on a road trip** What do you expect when you tell your sedan you’ve been seeing a roadster on the side? **Why Johnny Can’t Emote** He didn’t listen to his mom, and his face really did get stuck that way. **My manager assigned the worst person making the schedule** Pol Pot? **I’d like a magic pill, please** Well, you could take the blue pill, and your life will continue to suck in a mundane way. Or you could take the red pill, and your life will start sucking in a completely different and incomprehensible way. **My reign of terror. Or, Viva SMASH!** Viva: Bride of Og **I drove my Mini Cooper through 4" of water** …and it was completely submerged. **How many names _does_ God have?** Does he have so many even He can’t say them all? **What are some other wacky military ideas that never made it?** Pogo stick jousting never really caught on. **Getting credit card for 18 year old** Losing shirt off back because of 18 year old **Should Lobbyists be allowed to, well, lobby?** Only in the lobby. **So dose civilization improved the quality of human life?** It doesn’t seem to have improved the quality of grammar. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/84 "2005-08-30T18:23:32Z")
\*\* Why can’t we kill Pat Robertson?\*\* Have you tried silver? Holy wafers? **Drinking Games** Monopoly has a wonderful bouquet, but you can’t beat Mousetrap for mouthfeel. **Take the Basic Physics Quiz.** 1. What goes up \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. a) must come down. b) none of the above. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/85 "2005-08-31T03:23:32Z")
\*\*Difference between Hiroshima nukes and nukes today? \*\* The ones today haven’t been exploded. \*\*proper name for these hats? \*\* Hats. \*\*Why did the Soviet Union collapse? \*\* It drank too much vodka \*\*Where are all the giant robots? \*\* Right here. Where are you? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265/86 "2005-09-01T06:35:27Z")
New questions in GQ: \*\*Why not jack up New Orleans? \*\* Aren’t the looters already doing that? \*\*In a nutshell, why are gas prices so high? \*\* Do you know how hard it is to squirt gas into a nutshell without spilling it? \*\*Would it be illegal to use counterfeit money in a strip club? \*\* You can only use it for the strippers with counterfeit boobs. \*\*Does taking antidepressants prevent you from going into the military? \*\* Er… Not going into the registration office to sign up is what prevents you from going into the military. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-return-of-sarcastic-answer-theater/316265.md?page=4)