# The Rhinoceros Is Sneaking Up and Dancing on the Baby **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 20, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rhinoceros-is-sneaking-up-and-dancing-on-the-baby/554428 "2010-09-20T16:55:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rhinoceros-is-sneaking-up-and-dancing-on-the-baby/554428/1 "2010-09-20T16:55:08Z")
The [rhinoceros](http://cgi.ebay.com/Carters-John-Lennon-Purple-Plush-Rhino-Rattle-Baby-Toy-/330416543473?pt=Baby_Toys&hash=item4cee5c56f1) is sneaking up and dancing on the [baby](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9r79cZESdE); The rhinoceros is sneaking up and dancing on the baby. The rhinoceros is sneaking up, the rhinoceros is sneaking up, The rhinoceros is sneaking up and dancing on the baby. The rhinoceros is saving up to buy a can of peas to feed the baby; The rhinoceros is saving up to buy a can of peas to feed the baby. The rhinoceros is saving up, the rhinoceros is saving up, The rhinoceros is saving up to buy a can of peas to feed the baby. The rhinoceros is throwing up because he stuck his nose inside the diaper on the baby; The rhinoceros is throwing up because he stuck his nose inside the diaper on the baby. The rhinoceros is throwing up, the rhinoceros is throwing up, The rhinoceros is throwing up because he stuck his nose inside the diaper on the baby. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rhinoceros-is-sneaking-up-and-dancing-on-the-baby/554428/2 "2010-09-20T18:08:23Z")
Too pointless even for MPSIMS. Closed. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rhinoceros-is-sneaking-up-and-dancing-on-the-baby/554428/3 "2010-09-20T19:44:16Z")
Reopened because the OP sent me the following explanation: > [@emmaliminal](#): > > Help me make up more verses for this nonsense song for my baby > > Sleep-deprived new mom here, going a little bonkers, asking your assistance in distracting me and my three-month old. He may be teething early (or maybe just starting the Purple Crying period) and I’m having to distract him during most of the daytime hours. I’m fixated on this silly song I started singing to hi, which he seems to like… it goes like this: > > ``` > The rhinoceros is sneaking up and dancing on the baby; > The rhinoceros is sneaking up and dancing on the baby. > The rhinoceros is sneaking up, the rhinoceros is sneaking up, > The rhinoceros is sneaking up and dancing on the baby. > > ``` > > (The tune of the first two lines is the same as “If You’re Happy and You Know It” but the last two lines are different.) During this song, the baby is in his swing-chair, and a little purple stuffed rhinoceros sneaks up on him over the edge of the chair and then dances all over his belly and face and stuff. Which makes the baby giggle and forget to scream bloody murder. > > I want more verses to sing. The verses should be in this format: > > ``` > The rhinoceros is [gerund] up [optional additional preposition-gerund phrase of any length] and [gerund] [preposition, preferably “on”] the baby > > ``` > > So far, I have these: > > ``` > The rhinoceros is saving up to buy a can of peas to feed the baby > > The rhinoceros is throwing up because he stuck his nose inside the diaper on the baby > > ``` > > The first one is silly, but sub-optimal, because the little purple stuffed rhinoceros has trouble acting it out. The second one is great because he can mime sniffing the diaper and barfing over the side of the chair. Plus it has lots of extra syllables, which makes me sing extra-fast to fit them all in the musical phrase, like a tongue-twister, which is extra-silly. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rhinoceros-is-sneaking-up-and-dancing-on-the-baby/554428/4 "2010-09-20T19:47:58Z")
Thanks, **twickster**! I’m a little punchy today. I didn’t really have this all thought out when I posted first. BTW, if anyone’s curious, [Purple Crying](http://www.dontshake.org/sbs.php?topNavID=4&subNavID=32) isn’t really purple. But our rhinoceros is. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rhinoceros-is-sneaking-up-and-dancing-on-the-baby/554428/5 "2010-09-20T22:03:57Z")
The rhinocerous is stomping up and tickling the baby. The rhinocerous is turning around and jumping on top of the baby. The rhinocerous has lost his wallet and he’s looking for it under the baby. My kid was always happy with ‘suspense’ songs at that age Round and round the garden (slowly rubbing the tummy in a circular motion) Went the Teddy Bear (or Rhinocerous, walking on the tummy) One step… two step (draw it out with slow steps then a quick finish) Tickle you under there! (Tickle you in the puss ( face) if you don’t think it could be misconstrued, would be a close enough rhyme). Best wishes with the teething/purple crying thing. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rhinoceros-is-sneaking-up-and-dancing-on-the-baby/554428/6 "2010-09-20T22:50:11Z")
No, the rhino is just stoned outta his mind. 😃 > **[Rhinos, Maryjawanna & the Blue Danube.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=579008)** > > Why do you think they call it “rhinocerous”? http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100918/od\_afp/austriacrimedrugsoffbeat\_20100918212141 So. Do you think any of the rhinos…flew away? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rhinoceros-is-sneaking-up-and-dancing-on-the-baby/554428/7 "2010-09-20T22:52:20Z")
Rhino stew sounds really good about now. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2010, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rhinoceros-is-sneaking-up-and-dancing-on-the-baby/554428/8 "2010-09-22T02:22:12Z")
**maggenpye** , awesome all through. With your permission, I may be adapting some of those for our Rhinocerous. \*\* Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor\*\*, that thread may in fact be relevant. The rhinoceros in question was designed by John Lennon, after all. Regretfully, I am too busy mommying at the moment to investigate. **Morgenstern** , I recommend Katzenpfeffer over rhino stew, but that may be only because a) we have a Katzenpfeffer-sized stewpot but not a rhino-sized one, and 2] the cats ‘round here are much less helpful with the baby than the rhino has been lately. Plus the rhino doesn’t look like he’d be all that good a eatin’. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2010, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rhinoceros-is-sneaking-up-and-dancing-on-the-baby/554428/9 "2010-09-22T06:31:44Z")
> [@emmaliminal](#): > > **maggenpye** , awesome all through. With your permission, I may be adapting some of those for our Rhinoceros. Ta very much. Just thought of The Rhinoceros is dancing round - blowing raspberries on the baby. Never met a kid who didn’t love raspberries.