# The "Roadside Memorial" taken to its logical extreme. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 19, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237 "2003-08-19T17:22:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/1 "2003-08-19T17:22:39Z")
Okay, most of us have lost friends and family, so we tend to cut people a little slack when their expression of grief also happens to be litter. You would think that previous observation would tell them that even if they considered that flowers, stuffed toys, photos, and letters, duct-taped to a utility pole, to be an appropriate tribute in the first place, after forty-eight hours the whole mess is going to be covered in no-longer-suspended particulate, the flowers will have died, the felt-tipped obsequies will have ran in the rain. In short, they’ll be responsible for marking their loss with a monstrous eyesore. Way back in the 1970’s, I remember being introduced to the concept of an improvised roadside memorial. It was a utility pole beside a particularly bad stretch of highway, to which were affixed a number of three-inch-high crosses. A new cross was added for every fatality on that spot. I’m not sure how this unobtrusive reminder has evolved into the ubiquitous gaudy shrines we see today. Anyway, here’s what we get for our grudging acceptance of poorly-conceived personal memorials in public places: [Removal of crash site memorial stirs up trouble](http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=10024563&BRD=1973&PAG=461&dept_id=214849&rfi=6) > [@](#): > > By early afternoon, friends and relatives had arrived to visit, with crosses and knickknacks and handwritten messages scrawled on and about the tree. > On Thursday, the painting began. > According to Poff and Jay Mickiewicz, a group of seven friends delivered cans of various colored spray-paints to the site. A large cross bisected the median, with “R.I.P.” and “look down on us” also decorating the asphalt. Road crews, unable to remove the paint with a pressure washer, covered it up with heavy black primer. > [@](#): > > “That was a memorial for our friends,” Mickiewicz said. “It’s messed up, what they (road crews) did.” > Another point of contention: the timing. Most everyone involved with the artwork said they realize road crews would ultimately remove the work, but with a crew painting over a surface before any funeral, the decision was a shock. > “It’s like a slap in the face,” said Shannon Patchell, one of Emory’s uncles. Bullshit! It’s vandalism being repaired at taxpayers’ expense, for which nobody has even received a _slap on the wrist_, because people have a natural tendency to give grieving people a bit of slack. That doesn’t mean that they’re obligated to extend their tolerance for you fucking up public property so far as to not clean it up. Because I haven’t had my coffee yet, I’m going to say something over which I might ordinarily bite my tongue: Your ‘memorial’ was not only ugly and profoundly stupid, it demonstrates utter self-absorption and lack of consideration of the possible impact of your actions on other people. Sort of like seven drunken youths in an SUV. ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/2 "2003-08-19T17:36:59Z")
The Onion has mocked these. I don’t think it’s in their online archives, but it’s in their books. It’s called “Crash Site Tritely Commemorated”. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/3 "2003-08-19T19:33:57Z")
I whole hartedly agree. This nonesense must stop. Should I have gone in the Emergency Room where my dad died and tapped a teddy bear to the gurney? Am I a bad son because I didn’t spray paint some trite slogan (Gone but not forgotten?) on the little curtain that went around the bed? Plu-eeeeze ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/4 "2003-08-19T19:48:09Z")
Every time I see one of those roadside tributes I make whomever is in the car with me -friend, wife, kids - promise that if I ever meet a sad fate on the highway they will strive to have any memorial to me IMMEDIATELY removed if safe to do so. I instruct them that they should tell the kind-hearted idiot that put it up to take it down and find another way to grieve. I suggest that they eat a cheesburger or two in memory of me. Bubba ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/5 "2003-08-19T19:55:52Z")
I agree that the spray paint in the road was a tacky idea, but the thought of placing a cross over the exact spot someone died does not seem odd to me, and a small cross by the side of the road is unobtrusive and tasteful, IMO. My 19 year old cousin was killed in a car wreck just a few months ago and my father built two beautiful laminated oak crosses to mark the spot where he and his cousin lost their lives. To some people there is a special religious significance, to others a reminder and a plea for safety on the roads. ---
**Author:** ![malden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@malden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malden)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/6 "2003-08-19T20:26:03Z")
The state of South Dakota puts up official signs where highway deaths have occurred. I guess it’s some sort of macabre public service announcement. I saw my first one on US 385 near Oelrichs, and have seen them elsewhere in the state as well. They say “ **X marks the spot** ” and “ **THINK!** ” on one side and “ **WHY DIE?** ” on the other. [Example of the roadside markers](http://www.tombstonetravel.com/roadsd.htm) ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/7 "2003-08-19T20:34:55Z")
I don’t understand the roadside memorials, but I don’t have a problem with them. But I don’t like the idea of the memorials’ creeping onto the road itself. Not one little bit. Even if it’s just paint this time. Once painting crosses and messages on the pavement becomes old-hat, they’ll start actually piling stuff on the pavement. Not to mention, if they can paint stuff on the roads for one reason, others will think it’s their right to paint the roads for other reasons. Best to draw the line here. Sure, have the roadside memorials. But keep the memorials off the road, off the paved shoulder, and several feet away from the nearest traffic lane. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/8 "2003-08-19T20:40:21Z")
Okay, I just have to say how cool it is that Larry’s link went to a page titled **Cecil Whig**! I’ve seen little roadside memorials here and there. If they’re small and unobtrusive, that’s one thing. But the one in the article sounds exactly like vandalism to me. They took something sentimental and extended it IMHO too far. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/9 "2003-08-19T21:06:41Z")
There is an ordinance against them here because of the distraction to drivers. This makes perfect sense to me: why add additional memorials caused by the first memorial? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/10 "2003-08-19T21:58:19Z")
I agree **Chefguy** , memorials are a bad idea because they can distract motorists and **cause more accidents** , expecially the particularly gaudy ones. Also, the title of this thread is wrong; the logical extreme would be to actually bury the victim beside the road. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/11 "2003-08-19T22:10:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by malden \* > \*\*The state of South Dakota puts up official signs where highway deaths have occurred. I guess it’s some sort of macabre public service announcement. I saw my first one on US 385 near Oelrichs, and have seen them elsewhere in the state as well. They say “ **X marks the spot** ” and “ **THINK!** ” on one side and “ **WHY DIE?** ” on the other. > [Example of the roadside markers](http://www.tombstonetravel.com/roadsd.htm) \*\* Creepy ass signs. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/12 "2003-08-20T07:33:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > \*\*Once painting crosses and messages on the pavement becomes old-hat, they’ll start actually piling stuff on the pavement. \*\* Been to New Mexico? I’ve come across memorials on paved shoulders in the Land of Entrapment. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/13 "2003-08-20T12:10:29Z")
Is this a fairly recent phenomenon, or have I just not been paying attention? I don’t recall seeing impromptu roadside shrines until maybe ten or fifteen years ago. Now they’re all over the place. What makes people think that the roadside is theirs to mark with little crosses anyway? Why isn’t a floral spray at the cemetary enough. If you don’t vandalize public property now, is that a sign you didn’t care enough for the dear departed? It simply is not an appropriate tribute in my opinion. Mourning is a private, not a public matter. ---
**Author:** ![malden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@malden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malden)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/14 "2003-08-20T12:23:37Z")
I just remembered another place with vaguely disturbing roadside memorials to the dead: **San Francisco**. There’s a group of people there who paint the outline of a body on the street in places where pedestrians have been hit by cars. Unlike the South Dakota signs, I believe the San Francisco markers are put there without government sanction. …and BTW, I agree that the “shrine”-type roadside memorials are distracting, and also very, very tacky. Stuffed animals? How weird is that? I suppose it will be the topic of much discussion among archaeologists thousands of years from now. ---
**Author:** ![malden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@malden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malden)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/15 "2003-08-20T12:32:09Z")
Update and correction: apparently the San Francisco markers are the work of one man, Ken Kelton, with assistance from his son. I meant to take a picture of one of these when I spent a summer there, but I never did. [Here’s a news story (no pictures).](http://www.nubiannews.com/archive/1999/july99/silhouet.htm) > [@](#): > > Jesse lays a wood stencil of a human figure on the crosswalk at 21st and > Mission streets for his father to paint over. Kelton draws his paint gun and > quickly paints “4-15-99, woman 71” above the stencil. Then he sprays around > the edges and over cutout letters that read: KILLED HERE, BY TRAFFIC. His website, [pedsafe.org](http://pedsafe.org), appears to be defunct. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/16 "2003-08-20T15:35:44Z")
My old man got killed in a car crash, and I’m sure it would have insulted his intelligence if I had put up a roadside wreath. I don’t think it would have looked good next to all the orange numbers and arrows the police spraypainted on the road either. ---
**Author:** ![Apricot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bcef8e/32.png) [@Apricot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apricot)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/17 "2003-08-20T17:35:19Z")
Have y’all seen what they are doing in cemetaries now? The roadside stuff pales in comparison to the actual graves. I don’t know what started the trend, but it seems to be spreading. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/18 "2003-08-20T22:11:24Z")
We have the most hideous roadside memorial you could imagine near our house. It started three or four years ago as the standard flowers and the like left at the little round marker placed there. It was rather simple and generic and not particularly bad. Over the years, though someone has taken it to an extreme. There was a period of six months where the memorial was dressed up like an angel, slowly growing more gnatty and disturbing from it’s prolonged exposure to the elements. Then there was the period where every holiday that rolled around it had been decorated with something new for the season. Every time I drive past it I think, “There is someone who could really use some help getting over their greif.” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/19 "2003-08-20T23:02:48Z")
There was an article in the paper about these things. Apparently, they date all the way back to the 1600s or so in the Western US. The reason that you’re seeing so many of them now, is (according to the article) that more immigrants from Latin America have moved into your area, they started doing it, and everyone else has caught the fever. They are also _illegal_ in most places. The state’s walk a fine line in removing them, since families can get really bent out of shape, but it’s the law (and it makes sense). I think that another reason these things caught on was that some group used these to pound it into a bunch of mindless buerocrats skull that a particular section of road was dangerous and needed to be fixed. ---
**Author:** ![yabob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yabob/32/2821_2.png) [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237/20 "2003-08-20T23:58:05Z")
In Montana “semi-official” crosses used to be put up (the article above mentions that was actually an American Legion program, not the state itself). I believe they quit doing it because a lot of the families of accident victims objected to being reminded that their loved ones had bought it at some particular place. Some families DON’T want this type of memorial. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-roadside-memorial-taken-to-its-logical-extreme/196237.md?page=2)