The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let's Do the Time Warp Again (open spoilers)

Cafe Society
41

I rented the movie from Blockbuster Video when, well, Blockbuster Video still existed. I’d heard all the stories about how it was all about the audience participation and storywise it was mostly forgettable, but I wanted to see the whole thing at least once. (Well, mostly I wanted to see if it had that one theater song Fun Factory blasted over the speakers for a few months for some bizarre reason.)

It was definitely a “B” movie, a “midnight matinee”, a “schock feature”, whatever the proper term for this was in 1975. Gaudy, shameless, chaotic, without even the pretense of an actual plot. Essentially one of those movies where A Bunch of Stuff Happens, like Fantasia, or perhaps Moonwalker (dang, I gotta see the whole thing one of these days). Didn’t strike me as particularly daring; I agree with whoever said it looked like what a repressed 14-year-old would consider sexy. Entertainment-wise, it was fairly decent, but not particularly memorable and certainly nothing I’d ever rent a second time.

But then, it’s that “audience participation” thingy that’s kept this alive for so many years. Look…I know it was a fluke, and I accept that. There are a thousand B-schocknights that could’ve become a lasting cultural phenomenon because a bunch of college kids started giving hammy responses and it caught on. My problem is that the routines have now become so ingrained that there’s nothing at all organic about it, nothing creative, which is supposed to be the whole damn point of AP. The DVD had an option where you could be given prompted for each AP action.

And yes, I understand this makes me a tiny minority, but been there, done that, got the DLC. I hated the audience cutaways. “Look! Here’s the thing you say now! Here’s how you respond emotionally!” No. No, no, no, no. Screw that to Antarctica. First off, they were misused; completely out of the blue and highly jarring. Go watch The Muppet Movie again to see how audience shots are done without completely disrupting the flow of the movie.

And the rest of the show? A Bunch of Stuff Happens. It did seem noticeably tamer than the original: The costumes were a little more modest, the trans stuff was less in-your-face, and I don’t recall Eddie being hacked to death with an axe. I never particularly liked any of the songs and I don’t like them now. (I remember one publicist saying that the super-high voices in Time Warp were supposed to evoke Alvin and The Chipmunks. Dude…if someone tells you that your singing sounds like Alvin and The Chipmunks, that is not a compliment.)

Final verdict: Ho-hum. Could someone do Jesus Christ Superstar? That one sounds ridiculous enough that it might be fun.

42

Ah, no. For a modern audience, especially one that is watching at home on TV, the audience cutaways are important.

Why? Because they demonstrate what should be done, at certain points. Example:

Frank: I see you shiver with … antici-- (long pause)

Audience cutaway: Say it!

Frank: --pation!

Again, a modern TV audience, especially one that did not go to the Roxy (or Rialto, or Uptown, or whatever) for midnight screenings back in the 1970s wouldn’t know this. But it is an important part of participating.

As an aside, how many RHPS fans took to the back row of the cinema? My friends and I always did, so we could hurl profanities right back when the entire audience turned around on “in the back row,” and told us we suck.

Good times!

43

Horrible, sanitized, and with all the life and humor ripped out of it, the timing was all wrong, it felt “safe” and PG-ed

The acting was flat and wooden (with the exception of Frank) and Riff was nicely understated, Magenta and Columbia were horrible

I’m just past the Time Warp and intro of Frank, not sure I’m going to finish watching it, it’s just…wrong

I’ll grab my anniversary edition DVD and watch the real RHPS tomorrow

44

I feel like there are a few cameos that haven’t been spotted yet. Was the projectionist at the beginning Meat Loaf?

45

I’m an audience veteran of 6 different incarnations of the stage show, 25 years of midnight showings and a few terrible high school productions. I honestly can’t think of a single positive thing to say about this and that’s never happened before.

The only part I had hopes for was Adam Lambert and Hot Patootie. What a damp squib that was. I loved Lauren Cox in OITNB but I could barely watch her in this. So awkward, squinting through my fingers at times. Plus her voice, impressive though it may be, was not suited to this in the way that Tim Curry’s earthy, dirty smoker’s growl was perfectly imperfect.

It took three tries to get through the whole thing. RHPS was such a huge part of my 20s that I felt like I should watch it but, ugh, it had nothing of the original’s spirit, not a shred of it. I couldn’t stand Rocky, Magenta or Columbia, they were horrible, and it felt like Spider Riff Raff was doing a poor impression of everyone who’s gone before him. Brad and Janet were just blah. All of the choices made in the staging and direction . . . I just didn’t get what they were going for. Unless it was to piss me off? It was all so half-assed.

Loathed the cuts to the audience. I got why they did it and at least in that they tried to put their own stamp on something, but it was just too cute. RHPS may not be shocking these days but it shouldn’t be cute ffs.

But I thought of a good thing to say about it: I’m presuming Tim Curry and Richard O’Brien each got a fat cheque out of it, and that’s always good, because I love those dudes.

46

This movie makes me respect how surprisingly well-made the original was. With a lot of low-budget cult movies, you have to be willing to overlook the flaws and pick out the virtues. But when you watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show, it looks professional; well written, well cast, well directed, good set designs, good costumes and make-up, good choreography, good cinematography and sound. It doesn’t look like a product made by a bunch of people with almost no budget making their first movie.