# The Ron Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417 "2008-12-02T22:39:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/301 "2009-01-08T20:57:53Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > "But wait there’s more! If you call in the next 30 minutes you’ll get: his sexy Burger King uniform! His gold-rimmed sunglasses! **His partially-used pack of Magnum condoms!** His fluffy white kitty named after the porn star! Now how much would you pay? It’s still only $19.99!! You know, with a Magnum box, he can keep that thing filled up with the regulars for years… ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/302 "2009-01-09T02:22:16Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > You all are so kind. I’ve known these stories for so long now - I always wonder if they are as funny to others as they are to me. Absolutely. Keep 'em coming! ---
**Author:** ![Bacon\_Salt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/65b543/32.png) [@Bacon\_Salt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bacon_Salt)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2009, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/303 "2009-01-10T07:15:50Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Cause Ron never liked it tender. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. And I mean that as a compliment. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2009, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/304 "2009-01-10T14:19:25Z")
I have to confess: your sister makes me more sad than Ron does. ---
**Author:** ![Necroscopics](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ba9def/32.png) [@Necroscopics](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necroscopics)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/305 "2009-01-11T11:44:34Z")
“We’d go to a fast food place, he’d order food, then when it came, turn to us and again ask for money because he didn’t have any.” I totally forgot about this until I read the above post (snippet), but I knew a guy who was a genuine, bona-fide Ron. His name was Nick. Among other things, everywhere that NickRon lived had German cockroaches. Everywhere. I lent him a card table for a few months because I didn’t have room in my apartment to keep it. When I moved, I got it back from him, and for the next several months, found German cockroaches creeping out of it at all hours. One time, I asked him if he was hungry. He said he didn’t have all that much money, so he wasn’t sure. I replied that we were going to (fairly cheap local restaurant). He said “Oh, yeah. That’s ok then.” We went to the restaurant. I ordered a beer. So did he. I ordered a medium priced entree, so did he. I ordered another beer, so did he. The waitress came with our check, and asked if it was separate, or together. He said nothing, so I said separate. She walks away, and he looks at me and says that he doesn’t have the money to pay his share of the bill. How much does he have? Two dollars. I paid for his bill, put his two dollars on the table in addition to my tip for the waitress, and never hung out with the guy again. I’ll save my other NickRon story for after HarmoniousMelody’s next one. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/306 "2009-01-12T18:55:23Z")
> [@Necroscopics](#): > > I’ll save my other NickRon story for after HarmoniousMelody’s next one. Why to put the pressure on! _thinking_ ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/307 "2009-01-12T21:48:53Z")
I wonder if my wife would let me get a bondo-covered Camaro… I’d finally be cool! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/308 "2009-01-13T14:54:19Z")
> [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](#): > > I wonder if my wife would let me get a bondo-covered Camaro… I’d finally be cool! 😃 Don’t forget your gold-rimmed shades, and that dirty white short sleeved hooded “Chick Magnet” T-shiirt when you go cruising. (Jumper cables, too!) ---
**Author:** ![Zoot\_Sutra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/51bf81/32.png) [@Zoot\_Sutra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoot_Sutra)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/309 "2009-01-13T15:39:45Z")
> [@ajdebosco](#): > > Don’t forget your gold-rimmed shades, and that dirty white short sleeved hooded “Chick Magnet” T-shiirt when you go cruising. (Jumper cables, too!) And no Ronride would be complete without one of [these](http://www.autobarndeals.com/servlet/the-6286/Chroma-Laser-Axent-Decals/Detail) babies on your back bumper! Trés classy! ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/310 "2009-01-13T15:46:07Z")
> [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](#): > > I wonder if my wife would let me get a bondo-covered Camaro… I’d finally be cool! 😃 I read that at first as a bonobo-covered Camero. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/311 "2009-01-13T16:41:23Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I read that at first as a bonobo-covered Camero. That’s hawt! ---
**Author:** ![SomeUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@SomeUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SomeUserName)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/312 "2009-01-14T18:23:27Z")
This thread caused me to enjoy my work day a lot more than I usually do. - More Ron, More Ron, More Ron!\* ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/313 "2009-01-28T18:46:28Z")
Okay - it’s been a long time and I’m sorry. But something reminded me of this story yesterday and I thought you would enjoy it. **Today’s Ron-duh contribution** : (this is a post-Ron story) My sister, God rest her soul, was one of the messiest, most disorganized people I know. Every place she ever lived in always looked like a tornado hit it - her cars were always full of trash. It’s just the way she was. There was a period of time when I would go weeks & months without hearing from her and then when she did call it would be something quick like, “What’s Curt’s phone number? Ok - thanks, bye!” or “When’s Alycia’s birthday again? Okay, thanks!” I used to yell at her that I was NOT just her address book/calendar. I was her sister and an occasional, “Hi, Mel, how are you?” would be nice. Anyway, she made this big deal about me emailing her all the birthdays/anniversaries/addresses for our family. And with 24 of us, that wasn’t just a quick thing. But I put it all together and emailed it to her. And then she lost it. And so I sent it to her again, to a different email address. And she lost it again. So I printed it out and handed it to her and she said not to worry because she had a new electronic organizer and she was entering everything in to it and would never lose it again. Until she lost her organizer. So I sent it to her again, and this time her fiancee swore that he had it now and it would never be lost. And then a few weeks later I got the call. You guessed it, they had lost it again. So I had it. Getting an evil streak, I printed out the list and addresses and had my assistant make 25 copies of it on a variety of colored sheets of paper. And I instructed her to mail one copy of the list to my sister every day for the next 5 weeks. My sister didn’t say a word about it and neither did I. We happened to see each other again at a barbecue at my Dad’s house. She still didn’t mention it. But her fiancee finally broke down and asked me how many more of them they were going to receive. I just smiled. It was at least a year before she asked me for that list again . . . ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/314 "2009-01-29T12:52:39Z")
dang - i thought that was funny. Guess not. _goes off and cries_ ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/315 "2009-01-29T12:55:10Z")
Actually, I thought it was _brilliant_ and I didn’t post because I’m in awe of your sheer amazingness. I’m sure that’s what happened - everyone is still in awe and hesitant to post after that display of ingenuity. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/316 "2009-01-29T12:56:17Z")
I liked it, not laugh out loud funny, but a nice story. ---
**Author:** ![JustThinkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@JustThinkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustThinkin)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/317 "2009-01-29T12:58:04Z")
I thought it was funny. ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/318 "2009-01-29T13:39:07Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Okay - it’s been a long time and I’m sorry. But something reminded me of this story… > > It was at least a year before she asked me for that list again . . . Great story, but it was not evil to gently remind her, particularly if that tactic worked for a year. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/319 "2009-01-29T14:27:41Z")
I thought it was funny. **Lamia** -that is classic. Talk about a blarney story! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/320 "2009-01-29T14:34:14Z")
Since this thread has been revived, here is my latest Ron story: I am going home. I stop by Ron’s office to tell him I am going home, since he and his assistant are the only other people in the office. I ask him if he has his keys. I leave. I’m walking home and when I am halfway there, the assitant’s car pulls up. “Ron needs you to lock up the office. He doesn’t have his keys.” When we got back to the office, Ron was waiting in his car. I started toward him to give him a piece of my mind. He opens his window, yells “Lock the doors” and drives off. What he did is wrong on so many levels, including the fact that I am not the only person on the planet with keys to the office. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417.md?page=17)