# The Ron Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417 "2008-12-02T22:39:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/421 "2009-02-11T04:07:25Z")
This has now become one of the all time epic threads of the Dope. Congrats. ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/422 "2009-02-11T05:15:57Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Wally sighed. “Okay then. Because I chose the figure-eight pattern to seal the envelopes and now I have to undo them all.” No gales of laughter (wouldn’t be prudent), but tears and belly spasms. I nominate you for the SDMB Hall of Fame (if the damn thing ever gets built). I want to bear your children. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/423 "2009-02-11T08:36:43Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > just close your eyes, it will all be over soon. That’s what Ron said. ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/424 "2009-02-11T08:53:08Z")
Truly classic thread; great to see it back again. Thanks, melodyharmonius! I was going to relate a long-winded tale of my own, but I realized that it was really more about a ditz than a Ronnette. Oh, well. Keep 'em coming! ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/425 "2009-02-11T10:04:22Z")
I really like this thread. 🙂 I’ve been blessed by not having many Rons in my life, but here’s one: Ron joined our programming team. It was a well-paid job, but he still seemed to spend a lot of money and keep asking us for loans. Eventually he explained his ‘financial planning method’ - he bought whatever he wanted on his credit card until it was maxed out. We asked him how he paid it off. “I make the interest payments with my other credit card!” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![booklover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@booklover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/booklover)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/426 "2009-02-11T14:34:28Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > “On the interoffice envelopes, do you prefer that the string be wrapped in a loop around the 2 red circles, criss-crossed in a figure eight pattern, or just all around the bottom loop?” Oh God. I truly believe Wally has had a sex change and now works for me. I regularly encourage her to do what she thinks is most practical (or will work best for her) and get treated to a 10-minute monologue on the advantages of one over the other, concluding with, “So what do YOU think I should do?” ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/427 "2009-02-11T18:23:26Z")
> [@booklover](#): > > Oh God. I truly believe Wally has had a sex change and now works for me. I regularly encourage her to do what she thinks is most practical (or will work best for her) and get treated to a 10-minute monologue on the advantages of one over the other, concluding with, “So what do YOU think I should do?” From the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry. Next installment won’t be today - the savages are revolting here at work. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/428 "2009-02-11T18:46:26Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > [Wally joined in with, “Yeah, like last night? My girlfriend and I went out for dinner and when we got home the cat was sick all over the place.” So…Wally is Ralph Wiggum?😛 ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/429 "2009-02-11T18:53:40Z")
> [@TroubleAgain](#): > > So…Wally is Ralph Wiggum?😛 Exactly! Although he looks a lot like Wally from the Dilbert comic strip. And his name was really Wally. So sad. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/430 "2009-02-11T18:59:13Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Next installment won’t be today - the savages are revolting here at work. [old joke] Yeah, and they also appear to be upset about something![/old joke] Love the stories, from one and all. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/431 "2009-02-11T19:27:01Z")
But what shall we do while we wait? > [@Cerowyn](#): > > I was going to relate a long-winded tale of my own, but I realized that it was really more about a ditz than a Ronnette. Oh, well. Hmmmm. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/432 "2009-02-11T20:43:12Z")
> [@booklover](#): > > Oh God. I truly believe Wally has had a sex change and now works for me. I regularly encourage her to do what she thinks is most practical (or will work best for her) and get treated to a 10-minute monologue on the advantages of one over the other, concluding with, “So what do YOU think I should do?” One of my coworkers called me this morning from a store that she was in, buying a card for another coworker. She read all of them to me, wanting my opinion on what one she should buy. You wouldn’t mind, but she does this everywhere, including asking the baristas at Starbuck’s whether the fruit stella is better than the croissant, or do they recommend the cinnamon chip scone. She’s very sweet, but I want to yell at her to just make a damn decision! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/433 "2009-02-11T20:52:40Z")
> [@booklover](#): > > I regularly encourage her to do what she thinks is most practical (or will work best for her) and get treated to a 10-minute monologue on the advantages of one over the other, concluding with, “So what do YOU think I should do?” I used to know a G-Ron who would do this, then if you were stupid enough to make the choice, would argue with you about why that wouldn’t work. :dubious::rolleyes::mad: ---
**Author:** ![Kirstenindy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Kirstenindy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kirstenindy)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/434 "2009-02-11T21:20:03Z")
I am really loving these Ron stories…but the sister. she is a hoot. thanks for shareing them. i see the humor. I was turned on to this thread by a coworker and wow, you just made my day alot funner…just for today… Keep them coming and I have to admit…I have been a Ron-duh a few times…but it has NOTHING to do with the blonde hair…yak yak… I heart Ron stories…(i have him pictured driving a camero, with T-tops and of course the 'stash…lmao) ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/435 "2009-02-11T21:22:58Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > But what shall we do while we wait? > > Hmmmm. 😃 LOL! I’m tempted to imagine an amalgam of Rons and Wallys, but the revolting savages are likely too much for Mel already. So, a few brief notes on a fellow whom I met at the law enforcement academy many moons ago. The rigors of training didn’t seem to prevent him from constantly displaying his little man syndrome by picking fights with the biggest bruisers in the class. Someone must have told him this was the surest way to gain respect for his soon to be bestowed authority. The way he told it, he was on the fast track to succeed Ryne Sandberg as the Cubs second baseman, but blew out his knee. He decided to join the Marine Corps as part of his physical rehab, but didn’t train at Paris Island depot, he was more of a Hollywood Marine (San Diego?). Well, he aced the sniper school but washed out of the part of the program where they use live ammo. He said his drill sargeant insisted it was a case of F4 nervous condidtion, but he was certain it was because they were afraid he would frag an officer the first chance he got, if they dared f\*\*\* with him.:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/436 "2009-02-11T21:23:32Z")
Wow The Ron Thread nets a new Doper! Welcome to the fun, **Kirstenindy**! > [@ajdebosco](#): > > he was certain it was because they were afraid he would an officer the first chance he got, if they dared f\*\*\* with him.:dubious: I dying to know what the verb that’s missing was supposed to be! ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/437 "2009-02-12T12:04:22Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > **Today’s Ronulian Thread: _The Tale of Wally_** > > …snipped… > > “Umm, other than these 3 pieces, are there any other pieces for this 3-piece mailer?” > > I looked Wally in the eye. “Nope. Other than those 3 pieces, those are the only 3 pieces for the 3 piece mailer.” > > Wally sighed. “Okay then. Because I chose the figure-eight pattern to seal the envelopes and now I have to undo them all.” > > That was Wally’s first and last day working for me. The Singaporean slang for this type of people is called a “sotong” (sotong means squid). Here’s the explanation. > [@](#): > > Sotong (adj) > Derived from the Malay language meaning does not know what is going on. Similar meaning to ‘blur’. (Sotong is the Malay word for octopus which squirts ink and clouds everything.) > Example: This has been going on for months, didn’t you know? Sotong! ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/438 "2009-02-12T12:34:24Z")
> [@Kirstenindy](#): > > I am really loving these Ron stories…but the sister. she is a hoot. thanks for shareing them. i see the humor. I was turned on to this thread by a coworker and wow, you just made my day alot funner…just for today… > Keep them coming and I have to admit…I have been a Ron-duh a few times…but it has NOTHING to do with the blonde hair…yak yak.. > > I heart Ron stories…(i have him pictured driving a camero, with T-tops and of course the 'stash…lmao) I am so honored that your virgin post was on my thread. That is the highest compliment. (And to your co-worker too, for sharing the thread with you.) ---
**Author:** ![Kirstenindy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Kirstenindy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kirstenindy)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/439 "2009-02-12T14:12:17Z")
And thank YOU Mel for being my first… wink wink. Storytelling is an art and I look forward to coming here everyday…and oh yea…thanks for yet ANOTHER place for me to check in…lol I am quite the lurker and I will sit right here in the rafters and watch it all unfold. I love it and I heart your stories… ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/440 "2009-02-12T14:48:54Z")
> [@ajdebosco](#): > > he way he told it, he was on the fast track to succeed Ryne Sandberg as the Cubs second baseman, but blew out his knee. We had another guy when I worked armored that was like this. Claimed to have been an army special forces sniper, but had obviously not spent a day in the military, had any martial arts training and when we got to the range to qualify, had quite obviously never handled a gun in his life. Small guy too, with a slim build. Claimed to have driven a tour bus for Kenny Chesney (or however that’s spelled). Once tried to instruct our staff mechanic, who had been there for 39 years, on what was wrong with his truck’s diesel engine and how to fix it. :rolleyes: Was always the best, the brightest, the most experienced at everything he did, at least in his own eyes, and he wasn’t even 30 years old yet! Somehow managed to finagle a job as a fleet manager for a trucking company, or so he claimed as his reason for leaving us. IF that was true, I’m quite certain that it was based entirely on a well falsified resume and the usual bucket of self-aggrandizement. While he was there, we used his name (which I no longer remember) as a term for an obviously embellished lie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417.md?page=23)