# The Ron Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417 "2008-12-02T22:39:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/481 "2009-02-20T18:12:22Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > When I tended bar I had a guy claim that the natural state for all men was homosexuality. He knew this because we are in fact HOMO-sapiens! bet he got a lot of dates that way :smack: ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/482 "2009-02-20T18:13:49Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > bet he got a lot of dates that way :smack: “Hiya, Ron. Say, do you ever have trouble holding on to the soap?” ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/483 "2009-02-20T18:44:41Z")
> [@KnitWit](#): > > … > Ron: There were no Romans before Jesus. > Me: Err…okay, Ron. > > What I love about these guys is that they’re too stupid to argue with. He’d been watching [The View](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/12/04/sherri-shepherd-doesnt-g_n_75292.html). ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/484 "2009-02-26T15:09:38Z")
**Today’s Ronulian Contribution: Jeff** Jeff and I met in college. We were in the same performance group, and often got paired together on stage – so we struck up a camaraderie that went from a light-hearted friendship to an off-and-on dating relationship. No commitments, we just accompanied each other to some on-campus events and had occasional meals together at the campus dining common. I took a job in town after my junior year, and Jeff went to Nova Scotia for the summer. When Jeff returned for his senior year, he met some of my summertime friends, including someone I had gone on a few dates with. Strangely, each meeting the other brought out their competitive nature, and the two of them were suddenly asking me on dates every weekend. It was slightly flattering, until you realized it was just one-upmanship vs. actual ardor. This went on for several months until I decided to move back home to help out my mother. I talked to Jeff occasionally on the phone, and we would sometimes write, but we both moved on with our lives and returned to our friendship status. Then, almost 7 months after I had moved away, Jeff called and announced he was coming to visit me. He was making a road trip with 2 other stops on the way, and would be at my house in a week. I hung up the phone and went down to tell my mother. “Why is he coming?” my mother asked. “I have no idea,” I admitted. When Jeff arrived, there were hugs and smiles. We chatted about our lives and I introduced him to my mother. He told me about his trip so far, and the people he had stopped to visit along the way: a girl from college whom he had dated off-and-on but had broken his heart, and another girl he had met through the first girl, and with whom he had started a long distance friendship. And now he was here. My mom and I looked wordlessly at each other across the table, and then went back to eating our meal. The three of us played a few board games after dinner before calling it a night. The next morning after breakfast, I took Jeff for a walk around my town. Once we were about a half a mile down the road, I asked him, “Why are you here? Not that I’m not happy to see you – but what’s up?” Jeff smiled and said, “Well, now that I’ve graduated from college I feel like it’s time to start my life. Y’know - find a wife, get a job, settle down. So I figured I would take a trip, visit my three top choices and see which one I should marry.” I thanked Jeff for including me as one of his “three top choices” but informed him kindly that I was disqualifying myself because I just didn’t care for him that way. “Okay,” he accepted graciously. “I was a little worried because of your weight anyway. But I was willing to overlook that if everything else seemed workable.” Girls, can you believe I let him get away? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/485 "2009-02-26T16:05:57Z")
You must kick yourself daily. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/486 "2009-02-26T16:06:26Z")
Yes, I am surprised you let him get away. I’d have had him strung up in the basement. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/487 "2009-02-26T16:49:54Z")
Ooo, that reminds me - though in a slightly different fashion of a friend in college. Let’s call him Bob, who though not a Ron, acted in a Ronulian universe type of fashion at times. Bob was one of those whip-smart guys who had zero sense when it came to interpersonal relationship skills. (To betray my geek roots - D&D players would say he had a high Int but sub-par Wis score.) He ended up dating a friend of mine, very seriously, for about a year and a half. He was going to spend a semester studying abroad in Germany, so shortly before his departure, he had a talk with his girlfriend. In this, he laid out the situation - he wanted to spend time understanding the German culture while he was there, so of course this would require him dating (and sleeping with) German women. He therefore planned to do this. While he was away, she could feel free to date other men, but when he returned, she would dump any current boyfriend and the two of them would resume their relationship. Now please note that up until this point they were an exclusive couple, they had been having sex for most of their relationship, there was no mention of open relationships, dating others, etc. Nor was there any **asking** if this sounded all right to her. No, he presented it as a very logical action to take (you won’t be surprised to hear he was majoring in physics and computers) and was apparently confused at her rejection of the idea, and then him. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/488 "2009-02-26T18:04:34Z")
I’m so glad this thread is still alive! I love reading everyone’s Ron stories. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/489 "2009-02-26T18:21:35Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Jeff smiled and said, “Well, now that I’ve graduated from college I feel like it’s time to start my life. Y’know - find a wife, get a job, settle down. So I figured I would take a trip, visit my three top choices and see which one I should marry.” > > I thanked Jeff for including me as one of his “three top choices” but informed him kindly that I was disqualifying myself because I just didn’t care for him that way. > > “Okay,” he accepted graciously. “I was a little worried because of your weight anyway. But I was willing to overlook that if everything else seemed workable.” > > Girls, can you believe I let him get away? =o.O= Really, there are no other words. Just =O.O= ---
**Author:** ![Kirstenindy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Kirstenindy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kirstenindy)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/490 "2009-02-26T20:33:30Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > **Today’s Ronulian Contribution: Jeff** > > “Okay,” he accepted graciously. “I was a little worried because of your weight anyway. But I was willing to overlook that if everything else seemed workable.” > > Girls, can you believe I let him get away? OMG…I hope that his farkin car broke down and is NOW no longer able to get “it” up…that would serve him right. Call me crazy…but a road cruise to find a wife?? thats classic…was he in a camero and have a stach…lmao ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/491 "2009-02-26T21:02:21Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > **Today’s Ronulian Contribution: Jeff** > > Jeff and I met in college. … > > I thanked Jeff for including me as one of his “three top choices” but informed him kindly that I was disqualifying myself… > > “Okay,” he accepted graciously. “I was a little worried because of… > > Girls, can you believe I let him get away? Egads! You actually took yourself out of the running for such a gem; this prince charming that found you after all those months. I guess there is nothing quite like a juicy rationalization. except perhaps that cold, calculating logic that pervades some of these gracious souls. ---
**Author:** ![beanpod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9adbd/32.png) [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/492 "2009-02-26T21:20:13Z")
> [@](#): > > “Okay,” he accepted graciously. “I was a little worried because of your weight anyway. But I was willing to overlook that if everything else seemed workable.” AhahaahahahaHAAHHHAA! Oh. my. GOD. This is the best one so far. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Black\_Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/493 "2009-02-27T16:48:42Z")
Wow. I got the written version of that, when a guy I was interested in sent me a letter comparing the pros and cons of me and two of my friends, basically walking me through his decision process over whom to pursue. I remember thinking as I read it, “I’m sure he means this to be flattering.” I won the contest, according to him, because of my ass. Over before it started. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/494 "2009-02-27T17:08:56Z")
> [@Black\_Sunshine](#): > > Wow. I got the written version of that, when a guy I was interested in sent me a letter comparing the pros and cons of me and two of my friends, basically walking me through his decision process over whom to pursue. I remember thinking as I read it, “I’m sure he means this to be flattering.” I won the contest, according to him, because of my ass. > > Over before it started. I think you hit it on the head - he meant it to be flattering. And that’s what made it so sad. I would never want someone to “settle” for me or make some magnanimous gesture to date me in spite of something that was (to them) a glaring flaw. It’s too psychologically damaging. It’s not the first time that has happened to me either - before I met my uber bf - and I was on a few dating sites, I was chatting with a guy (Steve) who after seeing a few full-body shots of me, admitted he was in to “really athletic girls” (I’m more the comfy, cuddly kind). He said we could give it a shot, but he wanted me to know that up front. I told him that we shouldn’t date then - and it drove him crazy that _I_ turned _him_ down. He kept asking me to change my mind, because he was finding me irresistable and sexy all of a sudden. (Well duh, cause ya can’t have me now). He also seemed shocked that I had been on several dates with guys I had met (including 2nd and 3rd dates) and he was having a hard time dating even one girl, as studly as he thought he was. Shocker. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/495 "2009-02-27T17:11:36Z")
How do you FIND these people? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/496 "2009-02-27T18:22:57Z")
We don’t find them, they find us. \*\*melodyharmonius \*\*and her sister have the ron-attraction pheromone. I have the conspiracy-theorist-attraction pheromone. It’s not out fault, really. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/497 "2009-02-27T18:43:29Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > We don’t find them, they find us. \*\*melodyharmonius \*\*and her sister have the ron-attraction pheromone. phe **ron** mones? (ducks and runs) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/498 "2009-02-27T18:47:37Z")
(chases) Dammit, where’s the axe-wielding smiley? ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/499 "2009-02-27T18:49:34Z")
> [@Black\_Sunshine](#): > > Wow. I got the written version of that, … I won the contest, according to him, because of my ass. > > Over before it started. Woah Nellie! In writing, no less. Never underestimate the crassness of studly-boys; (love the moniker 🆒) I must confess I probably compare my latest love with my first true one, but always to myself, and often only sub-consciously. Funny thing is, she and I still communicate occasionally, knowing full well we had a gas of a time three decades ago. We’ve gone on with our own lives, we’re 2000 miles apart, no regrets, nothing but fondness, and certainly no desire to lap that track again. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417/500 "2009-02-28T00:23:24Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > \*\*He told me about his trip so far, and the people he had stopped to visit along the way: a girl from college whom he had dated off-and-on but had broken his heart, and another girl he had met through the first girl, and with whom he had started a long distance friendship. And now he was here. Had he been watching a lot of Cameron Crowe or John Cusack movies? This sounds like something that could be made adorable with the right leading man and supporting cast, but intolerable in real life. Good god, what a tool. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ron-thread/475417.md?page=26)