# The rules of the game (no, not that game) **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [February 18, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268 "2012-02-18T20:29:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/1 "2012-02-18T20:29:09Z")
We’re going to play a little role-playing game here. Let’s work out the rules, first, though, 'cause it might get a little rough. RULE 1: Your safe word is the third common English word that ends in -gry. ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/2 "2012-02-19T00:12:09Z")
RULE 2: No Poofters! ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/3 "2012-02-19T00:13:31Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:1, topic:613268”] We’re going to play a little role-playing game here. Let’s work out the rules, first, though, 'cause it might get a little rough. RULE 1: Your safe word is the third common English word that ends in -gry. [/QUOTE] Gotcha “Hungry” it is. Glad you didn’t say the second one, after “angry”. I always forget that one. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/4 "2012-02-19T01:13:44Z")
RULE 3: No biting, levitating, or speaking Klingon. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/5 "2012-02-19T01:17:29Z")
Rule 4: Any [Munchkins](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Munchkin) who show up as party-hopefuls will be folded, spindled, mutilated, and tossed into the maw of the nearest Otyugh (Neo- or otherwise). ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/6 "2012-02-20T23:02:33Z")
RULE 5: There is noooooooo rule number five. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/7 "2012-02-20T23:15:39Z")
RULE 6: when in doubt, refer to rule 5 ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/8 "2012-02-20T23:18:08Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:6, topic:613268”] RULE 5: There is noooooooo rule number five. [/QUOTE] I thought that was Rule #6? In any event… RULE SEVEN: All characters imported from other modules and in possession of magic equipment must have their legitimate acquisition of said equipment attested to by a notary public, justice of the peace, or member of the local clergy. Failure to do so will obligate them to pay double for their share of the pizza. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/9 "2012-02-21T00:16:36Z")
Rule 8: No optional character classes or races from _Untested Gamebreakers_. That book has been retconned out of canon. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/10 "2012-02-21T00:22:00Z")
RULE 9: All weapons must have dulled edges and points for safety, except for Bat’leths and and the Mitochondrian Scimitar of Coruscation. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/11 "2012-02-21T01:23:43Z")
Rule 10: Pillage, then burn. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/12 "2012-02-21T19:09:40Z")
RULE 11: Hands and arms must remain inside the game at all times. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/13 "2012-02-21T21:15:09Z")
Rule 12: Remember – in this milieu, it’s “ale and whores”, not “hookers and blow”. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rules-of-the-game-no-not-that-game/613268/14 "2012-02-21T21:31:39Z")
Rule 13: Any time **Hal Briston** makes a play, there must be a mention of sheep.