# The Saga of a Stupid Lamp **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 18, 2004, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808 "2004-10-18T12:10:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/61 "2004-10-19T18:14:33Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > It’s not such a leap from what I’ve got on today, an outfit involving marabou feathers, velvet and crocodile leather. Sure, I look like I skinned a muppet. But a _fashionable_ muppet. Were those pink pants at least plaid pink pants, **Lissla**? **Ashes[sup]2[/sup]**, pics please. 😉 **Kallessa** I _am_ jealous. You should see the brass and marble art deco floor lamp I have from my Grandmother’s aunt. I love stuff like that! **Lissla** , I’ve always wondered about the Doc Marten’s (well not always, I didn’t actually _start_ wondering until I saw my first Goth). Is it part of the ‘uniform’, or are they really just a comfortable secret shared by Goths? 😛😛😛😛😛 to Bank One. **Bob** , you’ll like this; yesterday I assembled 17 MTL knuckle couplers, which is some trick in N gauge. It woulda been 19 but I broke 2 springs. It only took me 2 hours. 😉 **Tupug** need I say it? pics, dammit, pics! I’d better sdubmit this before someone else posts. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/62 "2004-10-19T18:29:53Z")
**Bumba** , I have a pair of brown Docs (not boot height, just a regular shoe whose name I cannot think of) and they are pretty comfortable. I have had them since probably 1998 and they are still going strong. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/63 "2004-10-19T18:51:41Z")
Rest easy **Kalley** , my dream pink plaid pants would be a _subtle_ plaid. And never capri. I’m too vain to wear anything that doesn’t help make me look taller. Sorry **Bumba** , no pics for you. Just imagine me wearing a long sleeved stretchy top with feathers around the wrists and neck, mini skirt, and pointy heels (they have little string bows on the toes, squee!). This shoe thing is fascinating **Lissla**. It doesn’t mess up the insides of the boots to be soaked? I have some mexican hot chocolate in my snack cabinet, if it will console you. We can sip it and I’ll throw marshmallows at **puggy** because evidently she looks good in capris. So how long before **Ex** comes in and complains about the girly fashion topics? And where has he been? A report so we don’t worry, Mr. **Ex**! ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/64 "2004-10-19T18:54:13Z")
No, **Tupug** , you don’t understand. These pants weren’t pink. They were PINK. Very different. Much more blinding. Docs are pretty popular with non-goths, at least around here. Once they’re broken in they’re really, really comfy, and last for many years. My old pair (worn almost every day for four years. Maybe not worn for a grand total of a week out of those years) just don’t really have treads left. Otherwise they’re fine. I have small, wide feet, and I hate wearing anything that doesn’t come up over my ankles- regular shoes cut into the back of my foot. I hate shoe-shopping, and I don’t like wearing uncomfortable shoes. My Docs are eight-hole, which come about three inches over the ankle. I don’t have the patience for really high ones. Or the money. We’re on the third pair of socks so far, and this process seems to be working. They’ve stretched out nicely. Soon I’ll be able to take them off and go have a Sustaining Afternoon Nap. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/65 "2004-10-19T18:54:45Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > Sorry **Bumba** , no pics for you. Just imagine me wearing a long sleeved stretchy top with feathers around the wrists and neck, mini skirt, and pointy heels (they have little string bows on the toes, squee!). I picture **Mistress Ashes[sup]2[/sup]** in a black leather teddy instead… ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/66 "2004-10-19T18:57:42Z")
I would look like a deformed midget in capris. Not tall enough. Hot chocolate would be lovely, **Ashes**. Docs are pretty tough. I wouldn’t soak and stretch regular shoes, even if I was cruelly forced to wear them. I could go put a vinyl corset on. Match the rest of the MMP mood. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/67 "2004-10-19T18:57:59Z")
Soaking your shoes has got to be the _worst_ way to break them in. (Even if it _is_ The Way To Do It.) It’s bad for the leather. (But if any boot can take it, Doc Martins would be the one.) You should rub them with an oil based polish. The oil works into the leather and softens it up. Not too much oil though, since you don’t want your Docs to be _too_ soft. **Kalley** , even though I haven’t seen it, I want your lamp. If I get your lamp, I’ll want other stuff off you too, but let’s start with the lamp. OK? Hey, if you want me to re-wire your lamp let me know. I just put in a new ceiling light in my boy’s (a real boy, by the way) room and I didn’t quite burn down the house, so you _know_ I do a number on your deco lamp. (And it is a “bowl” on a torchiére.) ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/68 "2004-10-19T19:23:31Z")
I do know that it’s not good for the leather, **Rue** , but (remember my funny shaped feet?) my first pair ate through band-aids to scar my heels, and took two months to become comfortable. I am willing to beat them up a bit if I can quicken the ‘getting comfy’ part. I understand it doesn’t happen to most people, but breaking in any shoes is painful for me. ---
**Author:** ![merrily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@merrily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merrily)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/69 "2004-10-19T19:49:01Z")
I just pictured my sister in a vinyl corset, pink capris, and leather seats. She never would have gotten out of that car! Lesson to us all: always wear something absorbent. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/70 "2004-10-19T21:04:41Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > Sorry **Bumba** , no pics for you. Just imagine me wearing a long sleeved stretchy top with feathers around the wrists and neck, mini skirt, and pointy heels (they have little string bows on the toes, squee!). Sorry **Ashes[sup]2[/sup]**, but when I try I keep getting Phylis Diller, and I’m sure that’s _not_ what you had in mind. That’s why I asked for pics. I’m sure your resplendant visage would heal the scars Phylis has left on my visual cortex. I always heard you should use saddle soap on new boots, which is what I used, when I used to wear boots. But what do I know? > [@merrily](#): > > I just pictured my sister in a vinyl corset, pink capris, and leather seats. She never would have gotten out of that car! Your sister’s capris have leather seats? Like leiderhosen? :eek: > [@merrily](#): > > Lesson to us all: always wear something absorbent. Words to live by. I should put that in my sig line. Aside to **Taters** : I’m sorry I wasn’t around to offer support last week. I hope things are better for you now. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/71 "2004-10-19T21:12:26Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > I have some mexican hot chocolate in my snack cabinet, if it will console you. We can sip it and I’ll throw marshmallows at **puggy** because evidently she looks good in capris. ☹ Dahlings! Can I help it if God and the treadmill have given me shapely thin gams??? Trust me, I’d never give Ms. Parton any competition in the boobige department. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Magickly\_Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magickly\_Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magickly_Delicious)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/72 "2004-10-19T21:38:24Z")
> [@Lissla Lissar](#): > > I want hot chocolate as consolation. **Lissla**! Gosh darn you, I momentarily mis-read your sentence as “I want hot chocolate ass consolation,” because of all the talk about pants I guess, and I inhaled some of the Oreo I was having (Double Stuf Oreos, mmm) and coughed for a long time and now I have the hiccups and can’t stop. AUGH. I also have Doc Martens, and I am very much not a Goth and never have been one. I just got new red ones, which also have 8 holes. I didn’t hafta break this pair in though, go me. I’m still hiccuping. ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/73 "2004-10-19T21:56:40Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > \… an outfit involving marabou feathers, velvet and crocodile leather. Sure, I look like I skinned a muppet. But a _fashionable_ muppet.\ Or Elton John! (Which, on second thought, might be redundant) 😃 As to pink plaid capris - I dunno, they might be cute in a [Lilly Pulitzer](http://www.pinkwasabi.com/swatchPage.asp?intSeasonID=6) sort of way. For spring, summer or resort wear only, of course. I don’t have a pair of pink plaid capris, but I’ll wear them. Capris, that is. Maybe not pink ones, though. I’d probably look naked from a distance. At 5’10", _looking_ short isn’t a problem; looking naked, however, is. 😉 Now, to the OP: It was summer when we moved into the house I live in now. A very hot summer. So we saw the house and thought, “14’ ceilings! How elegant! How graceful!”. Then one of the lights in the kitchen blew out. One of the spotlights set in cans in the ceiling. Only my 6’3" brother-in-law can reach them from the step ladder. Barely. (We really need a bigger ladder.) Worse, recently one of the bulbs broke, leaving the socket in the fixture. Which means someone has to climb up on the counter with a pair of pliers or something to get it out of there. We haven’t quite worked out what we’re going to do about it. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/74 "2004-10-19T21:56:41Z")
**BUMBA!** You take that back! I look absolutely nothing like Phylis Diller. I’m a couple of years younger _at least_. Gosh darnit, now you’ve got everybody picturing me as a flat chested chicken woman. Somebody get me a digital camera quick! I’m fairly decently put together-- ask **scout** , she’s seen me. Gaack! I need to go lie down in a dark room now. **Vunderbob** , my clothes will need loosening… Go ahead and rub it in **puggy**. I’ll get you and your little dog, too. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/75 "2004-10-19T22:05:51Z")
Since **Ashes** is so distraught I must quickly pop in and assure you all that she looks NOTHING like Phyllis Diller. I thought she was a pretty lady. **Ashes** , that is. Not Diller. Oof. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/76 "2004-10-19T22:12:42Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > And it is a “bowl” on a torchiére Hmmmm… looks like I got me some competition in the MMP decorating department. Anyone else wondering just _ **why** _ **Rue** knows this? Capri pants make me think of Laura Petrie. Remember how she wore capris and danced and twirled all over the living room? Reckon **Puggie** does that at home? **Ashes[sup]2[/sup]** and **vunderbob** get a room already! Or a dungeon. Your choice. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/77 "2004-10-19T22:42:01Z")
Mwah hah! I made **Magickly** inhale cookies. Go me! I just bought chocolate whipped-cream-in-a-can. It fascinates me. I’m sure Mr. Lissar will eat it. Whipped cream is his favorite food group. The other ones are pizza, coke, and chocolate pudding. No, he’s not fat, and I don’t understand why. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/78 "2004-10-19T22:44:24Z")
Oh, I’m thinking of improvising a trifle type thing with strawberries, vanilla yogurt, chocolate pudding (food group! Essential nutrients!) and white cake. Do y’all think that would be good? Vanilla yogurty chocolate things are good. Rittersport yogurt chocolate bars are really good. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/79 "2004-10-19T22:51:28Z")
Oh, yeah. That sounds like it would be Deeee-vine. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/80 "2004-10-19T23:08:23Z")
> [@Wintermute](#): > > Worse, recently one of the bulbs broke, leaving the socket in the fixture. Which means someone has to climb up on the counter with a pair of pliers or something to get it out of there. We haven’t quite worked out what we’re going to do about it. Use a potato! Seriously. Make sure the power is off. Cut off one end of a long, narrow potato, and cram that end into the broken bulb base. Then turn the 'tater to unscrew the broken base. But please don’t cut and cram **Taters** - that would not be cool at all! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808.md?page=5)