# The Saga of a Stupid Lamp **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 18, 2004, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808 "2004-10-18T12:10:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/81 "2004-10-19T23:21:43Z")
Right. I’ll take the strawberries out of the freezer. **Ex** , I’m sorry that I always hijack MMPs with stuff about food. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/82 "2004-10-20T01:32:38Z")
mmmmm…food. When come back, bring food. > [@Ashes](#): > > **BUMBA!** You take that back! I look absolutely nothing like Phylis Diller. I never said _you_ looked like Phylis Diller. It was your clothes that triggered that particular vision. That’s why I wanted pics. I’m absolutely sure you look just like Laura Petrie, only moreso. BTW, did you know Mary Tyler Moore’s legs were stars before she was? They featured prominately in the opening credits for the ‘Richard Diamond Private Eye’ TV show. Peter Gunn was way cooler, but Richard Diamond had MTM’s legs goin for it. I’m just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/83 "2004-10-20T02:45:46Z")
Hey! It just occurred to me that there might be pics of me on the Savage websites. There was a chick wandering around with a camera last time I was there. I am checking. If they are awful, you’ll never see 'em. Bloody. The website’s taking forever to load. Maybe- I see a red skirt in one one of them- that would be me… nope. It’s a guy. Hmm. No, sorry. I managed to avoid the camera. Maybe after Hallowe’een. Wait! I was looking at the wrong page! Hmm, that one isn’t good. I just came off the dance floor and I look pink and pudgy. Good of **Osgie** and Quasi-Daughter, though. [I am the one in the red and gold skirt, dancing.](http://www.savagegarden.ca/friday_art/post14/DSC01197.JPG) [Oh, fine.](http://http://www.savagegarden.ca/friday_art/post14/DSC01200.JPG) I’m not blonde, and I’m not as pudgy as I look in that. Bleh. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/84 "2004-10-20T04:55:44Z")
From left to right, it’s Quasi-Daughter’s Roommate, Quasi-Daughter, me, and **Osgie**. What, no one else is reading the MMP at one in the morning? ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/85 "2004-10-20T12:01:23Z")
Far be it from me to question the gross deformity of your feet **Lissla**. I was just saying you’re being mean to your boots. The Little Woman is hard to fit in shoes. She has an unusally narrow heel- which is quite common in stunningly beautiful wives- that makes it hard for her to find shoes that don’t slide around the back of her foot and give her blisters and assorted owwies. She thoughtfully passed this trait on to Soupo. Katcha was luckier. He got my short, wide feet. Only moreso on him. He has more “paws” than actual feet. They are almost round. Well, they were when he was a wee bairn, but now they are more standardly foot-shaped. My own personal feet have about an average length to width ratio. Only they are a little smaller than average. This usually works in my favor when they have a clearance on shoes I like. Since I have a less popular boot size (9’s - so my feet aren’t freakishly small) they usually have some left. This actually only worked in my favor once, but I got a really nice pair of Vasque hiking boots on the cheap. Saddle soap is good for your boots **Bumba** , because it’s more waxy than oily. That way the leather doesn’t get too soft. No one wants flimsy boots. But if you need the leather softened up some, the oil is the way to go the first time. Then the saddle soap from then on in to keep them clean. Soaking boots in water, while it is an old cowboy (and goth) trick, is bad for the leather. It drives out the natural oils in the leather and then the leather can dry out and crack. But since Doc’s have leather think enough to stop bullets, it’s not a huge worry. And the beat-up, cracked look is trés cool. (How are your little tootsies fairing after your boot breaking, **Lissla**? Did you get hot chocolate?) I have a higher than I can reach garage ceiling **Winnie**. I had to go to the hardware store and buy an extendable lightbulb changing pole. It goes up way-high, so it’d probably work with your 14’ ceilings too. (Since you’re 5’ 10" and can raise your arms, that gives you a what? 8 foot reach on tippy toes? So the extender would only have to be… math, why’d it have to be math?.. 6 feet long. Oh yeah, it’d work just fine. You should go to your hardware store and get yourself an extendable lightbulb changing pole. And the potato is the way to get the bulb out. (Like **Snickers** said.) You could jam it on the end of your new extendable lightbulb changing pole and it’d be easy-peasy. Or not and your have a potato stuck to your ceiling by the jagged edges of the broken light bulb. But come on! That would be so cool! Everyone else would want a potato stuck to their ceiling too! You’d set a trend. > [@swampbear](#): > > Hmmmm… looks like I got me some competition in the MMP decorating department. Anyone else wondering just _ **why** _ **Rue** knows this? I know many thing **Swampy** , many things… If you put the whipped cream in the Coke it’s sorta like a Coke float. Only not really. But it’s sorta good in a weird way. Mr. Lissar should try it. Only I’ve not tried it myself with chocolate whipped cream, just the regular stuff. So it might not be good. So when you get your guinnea pig… husband to try it, come back and tell us how it went. -Rue. (about done now) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/86 "2004-10-20T12:15:32Z")
Speaking of lights and stuff, I have this strrrrrrraaaaaaaaange friend who once painted his bedroom ceiling black, then spray glued glitter all over it. Then he put up little twinkly white Christmas lights all over the ceiling. He had a black extension cord which ran up the wall from a socket behind his bed to plug in the twinkly lights. He thought it looked all romantic and sexy. I expressed an opinion that it looked all spooky and serial killer like. He said he could live with that. Like I said: strrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaange strrrrrrrraaaaaaaange man! Turns out no one thought it was all romantic and sexy. When he had spend the night company, they had to pull out the sofa bed in his living room because nobody would sleep in that room but him. Speaking more of lights, I found the kinda bulb I needed for my light fixture in my study. I am now all lit up again! Matter of fact I bought a bunch of em so I am now set to be all lit up in my study from now on and forever or until I run out of light bulbs again, whichever comes first. -swampbear (Hallelujah! I have seen the light!) ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/87 "2004-10-20T13:05:11Z")
> [@Lissla Lissar](#): > > **Ex** , I’m sorry that I always hijack MMPs with stuff about food. The MMP always seems to devolve into something that, if it were a TV show, would be found on the Food Channel or Style Network lately. It’s like Queer Eye For The Straight Guy except we only have one (fabulous) gay interior decorator and a bunch of women. Gah. I need a thread about deer hunting or auto mechanics. Or at least some more gay guys. I’ll take pity on you people this time just long enough to give you the last word on new leather boot curing/sizing/preserving substances: Beeswax. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/88 "2004-10-20T13:20:25Z")
> [@ashes](#): > > Go ahead and rub it in puggy. I’ll get you and your little dog, too. :eek: > [@swampbear](#): > > Capri pants make me think of Laura Petrie. Remember how she wore capris and danced and twirled all over the living room? Reckon Puggie does that at home? I’m more likely to fall over the ottoman like…OH, ROBBBBBB!!! 😃 **lissla** , I don’t see any pudge! I see one gorgeous babe! Jeepers, **ex** , didn’t you see **bob’s** moose link? That’s all I got for now. Tupug ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/89 "2004-10-20T13:37:36Z")
> [@Ex](#): > > I need a thread about deer hunting or auto mechanics. Or at least some more gay guys. The National Association of Gay Deer Hunting Auto Mechanics is having its annual hunt the first weekend in November. They’re attempting to raise money so they can redecorate their hunting lodge and make it f-_aaaaaa_-bu-lous! How’s that? Am I the only one who can’t see anything in **Lissla’s** pic? It’s so dark! Oh, and the second one keeps telling me it can’t be found. It’s lost! Poor pic! ☹ **Puggy:** \*\* OoOoOoHHHHHH!!! ROoOoOoBBBBBB!!!\*\* 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/90 "2004-10-20T13:49:11Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > I have a higher than I can reach garage ceiling **Winnie**. I had to go to the hardware store and buy an extendable light bulb changing pole. It goes up way-high, so it’d probably work with your 14’ ceilings too. (Since you’re 5’ 10" and can raise your arms, that gives you a what? 8 foot reach on tippy toes? So the extender would only have to be… math, why’d it have to be math?.. 6 feet long. Oh yeah, it’d work just fine. You should go to your hardware store and get yourself an extendable light bulb changing pole. Or I can talk my sister into climbing on the counters. I’ve always been pretty good at talking my little sisters into doing things. 😃 I mean, what are younger siblings for? (I need a smilie with devil horns) > [@](#): > > And the potato is the way to get the bulb out. (Like **Snickers** said.) You could jam it on the end of your new extendable light bulb changing pole and it’d be easy-peasy. And now I’m actually learning things in an MMP. What is this world coming to? But thanks for the info on the extender and the potato. That should make life a whole lot easier. I guess I’m going to have to make a trip to the hardware store, too. I should probably just break down and buy a bigger step ladder while I’m there. You know, get a little crazy. > [@](#): > > \…and have a potato stuck to your ceiling by the jagged edges of the broken light bulb. But come on! That would be so cool! Everyone else would want a potato stuck to their ceiling too! You’d set a trend. Ooh, great decorating tip, **Rue** , and just in time for our annual Halloween Party, so all my friends can see how bleeding-edge my décor is! Expect to see potatoes stuck to the ceilings of all the _coolest_ places by next year! Of course, by then, I will have moved on to zucchini in the wall sockets. 'Cuz I’m just that cool. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/91 "2004-10-20T13:49:15Z")
**Lissla** ’s second link has an extra “http//” in it. If you take that out you get something like [this](http://www.savagegarden.ca/friday_art/post14/DSC01200.JPG). Our **Lissla** is the pritty one. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/92 "2004-10-20T13:51:15Z")
I just wanted to mention that while looking through the compiled statistics in the 6@6 pools over in the Cafe, I saw that I was listed in the contributors as **underbob**. The National Association of Gay Deer Hunting Auto Mechanics? Is that for the guys who are too far down the social register to join the Log Cabin Republicans? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/93 "2004-10-20T14:00:29Z")
Sorry for the double post. I haven’t been this chatty in a long time, but I forgot a couple things. …Well, I was going to say that **Lissla’s** second link didn’t work for me, either, but **Rue** fixed it. Thank you, **Rue**! (Blast! He may be cooler than me! But how can that be? I wear so much black!) Let’s see, **Welby’s** here, **Ex** is here, **Swampy** , \*\*Kalley \*\* and \*\*Vunderbob \*\* are back, even \*\*FCM \*\* has checked in, but where is everybody’s favorite hyper-caffeinated Aussie, **Dangergene**? We haven’t heard from him in a while. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/94 "2004-10-20T14:09:59Z")
I hate photos of me. Mr. Lissar says the one where you can actually see me is not too bad. There’s a place nearby that makes cherry coke the old way- by putting cherry syrup in. You can get whipped cream on top, too. Yum. My feet are fine, and yeah, that was the logic I used: they’re going to go through hell, anyway, if I own them, so soaking is the least of their worries. Assuming shoes can get worried. Driving Husband and I are going to a new Indian restaurant with the last of my birthday money. Mr. Lissar would come, but he’s scared of new foreign places. I need to visit them first and make sure he’s like the food. It’s cheaper than going together and having him not eat his lunch. Sorry 'bout the link. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/95 "2004-10-20T14:17:30Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > Our **Lissla** is the pritty one. You’re going to have to be a bit more specific there, bub. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/96 "2004-10-20T14:32:44Z")
I’m thinking she’s the one on the right. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/97 "2004-10-20T14:39:20Z")
… Or the left. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/98 "2004-10-20T14:39:32Z")
OK fine **Ex**. (Why didn’t I just call you **X** from the very beginning? I should have. And you’re right about the beeswax, only that wouldn’t soften the boots up to start with. Not enough for **Lissla** ’s dainty feet.) **Lissla** is the extra-pritty, radiantly beautiful one. Does that help? The not-blonde one. More help? If you can’t find her, maybe you should turn in your MMP Member badge. I’m just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/99 "2004-10-20T14:55:29Z")
Second from the right? ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808/100 "2004-10-20T16:20:07Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > The National Association of Gay Deer Hunting Auto Mechanics? Is that for the guys who are too far down the social register to join the Log Cabin Republicans? 😉 I thought they _were_ the Log Cabin Republicans, on weekends. If yer really Jonesin for **Dangergene** , check out [his website.](http://gene.whitlock.com.au/illustration-main.html) I don’t mind that nobody ever misses _me_, really I don’t _sniff_ > [@Exgineer](#): > > Second from the right? That’d be my vote. the other girls are purdy too, but they don’t look Japanese-Canadian eh? **Lissla** , Mr. Lissar would probably like the tandoori chicken. everybody likes tandoori chicken, right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-saga-of-a-stupid-lamp/269808.md?page=6)