# The scammers aren't even trying any more-NOT A PARODY! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386 "2010-09-28T19:42:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/1 "2010-09-28T19:42:17Z")
I just got this in my email(Name given is as sent-really!): [QUOTE=buffoon] From Miss Queen Gonzo Attn Please Dear I know that this massage will come as a suprise to you but after much consideration i decided to contact you,before we proceed, i don’t know if i have introduced myself to you, I am Miss Queen Gonzo The reason why i send this massage to you is because i am not safe here due to my situation and my predicament so i decided to seek for your assistance. I have a serious problem which is an injury that lingers in my soul for almost seven months now and i want somebody who is reliable and honest who will advise or give me a suggestion on how to overcome the crisis. my mother is not longer alive here in abidjan as i am writing you and recently My Beloved Dad join his ancestors though the hand of his wicked brother who call him self my uncle but has turn to be a lion over night to me. How i wish i will see you now in my country and we talk to each other at present. my father before his death was a chairman of cocoa dealers here in bouake ivory coast,that was when am still a student at the federal college of in Abidjan. but i stop school after the death of my father because my uncle decided to poison me just for nothing sake, As am writing you now, all my hope and dream of future was shartered and spread to the sky as i don’t know what to do, My father left a big amount of money with the bank USD 4.5MILLION DOLLARS, and i don’t know about this, it was on the 10th of october last year that our farmily lawyer kindly hand over to me the documents covering the deposit and the WILL my father wrote and the instruction on how i will utilise the money, Meanwhile i don’t know what actually what to do with this money because of shartered brain and life line, that is why i contacted you so that you can advise me or give me suggestion how i will handle the inheritance and also help me to transfer this fund to your account . And after the conclution of the transfer i will come over to your country to continue my education, Please it is a long story that if i start to narrate them now, you will be start shedding tears over there, but i will give you more details in your next mail but kindly bear in mind that i need you to help me out of this my bad condition and help transfer this money to his account and assist me come over there for security of my life and the fund and start a new life you My dear please contact me through my private email so that i will send my picture to you and also give you more details, my private email is (email addy deleted) Thanks once again and please extend my greeting to your family. Please i need your help, please i will love to hear from you as soon as possible. With all my love Miss Queen Gonzo [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/2 "2010-09-28T19:49:53Z")
Whatcha gonna do with all that money? ---
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/3 "2010-09-28T19:56:24Z")
Oops, I sharted! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/4 "2010-09-28T20:00:00Z")
I dunno…something about that massage just rubs me the wrong way… ---
**Author:** ![kathmandu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kathmandu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kathmandu)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/5 "2010-09-28T20:10:24Z")
Why did you delete her e-mail address? I, for one, would like to see her picture and hear more details! ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/6 "2010-09-28T20:47:47Z")
I’m already shedding tears… how much does she need and where do I send it? [poised with checkbook] ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/7 "2010-09-28T20:52:32Z")
> [@kathmandu](#): > > Why did you delete her e-mail address? I, for one, would like to see her picture and hear more details! Or at least let her know that things could be worse – for instance, _ **she** _ (presumably) doesn’t have a freakishly distended anus… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/8 "2010-09-28T22:47:57Z")
“Miss Queen Gonzo?” What, are spammers just using random name generators now? And, that is an excellent name for a cat! ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/9 "2010-09-29T03:58:11Z")
I receive an actual honest-to-Og Nigerian scam \*letter \*in an envelope with a postage stamp from South Africa last week. Weird. Emails, sure. Faxes, yup. But snail mail? ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/10 "2010-09-29T04:20:10Z")
> [@elninost0rm](#): > > Oops, I sharted! It’s worse than that! It’s a brain shart! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/11 "2010-09-29T04:22:43Z")
How do you clean your brain after that? ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/12 "2010-09-29T04:24:11Z")
Q-tip? > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > How do you clean your brain after that? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/13 "2010-09-29T04:42:46Z")
I’ve received ones from Mrs Flora Dumbo (supposedly of Ukraine, although the letter was in Spanish), and Miss Blessed Lama (of Cote d’Ivoire, also in Spanish). I think some of the scammers are scarcely trying anymore. Rather than elaborate stories, I’ve been getting ones like these: > [@](#): > > Hi Dear, > > My Name is Grace , From west Africa presently residing in ouagadougou in Burkina Faso. I was impressed seek for my soul mate, and also i like to establish a long lasting relationship with you. In addition,i will like you to reply me so that i will give you my picture and more about me.Thanks waiting to hear from you soonest. > > Love > From Miss Grace. > [@](#): > > I Mrs. Harriet Shelton has donated the Sum of $3,500,000USD to you to help the less privilege and orphans. Am in the hospital and I will be going for Cancer operation today and I don’t know if I will survive as it’s very severe. You are to contact my lawyer Barr. Edward Hayes: \*\*\*\*\*@gmail.com that I have changed my WILL. > [@](#): > > Dear Sir/ma, > How are you today. > I will like to know if you can book the air flight tickect for clents and get back to me IF you take paymet by credit card so that i can forward you my card details and the passenger details now… > > Regards, > > Fred David > [@](#): > > You have won for yourself £45,000/BMW Car.We need the following details,Full name,Phone Number:Country Managing Director The National > Lottery,E-mail:\*\*\*\*@ymail.com Copyright © 2008 .All rights reserved ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/14 "2010-09-29T06:25:31Z")
Was the massage attached? And yes, apparently scammers have been using random name generators for a while. Or at least, they have no idea how names in long-time-English-speaking countries work. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/15 "2010-09-29T06:31:58Z")
You know, I haven’t gotten one of those letters for over a decade. Is my spam filter that good, or what? ---
**Author:** ![yendis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ed8c4c/32.png) [@yendis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yendis)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/16 "2010-09-29T08:07:31Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I receive an actual honest-to-Og Nigerian scam \*letter \*in an envelope with a postage stamp from South Africa last week. Weird. Emails, sure. Faxes, yup. But snail mail? Oh good you got my letter, now if you could just send me the money we can complete the deal. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/17 "2010-09-29T08:23:23Z")
Sure, OK. But just so I know its really you, send me another letter to the same address you did last time. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/18 "2010-09-29T11:16:58Z")
Where the hell did they get the idea that we address each other as “Blessed” and/or “Beloved”? ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/19 "2010-09-29T12:05:25Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Where the hell did they get the idea that we address each other as “Blessed” and/or “Beloved”? See? Than it must be real. A scammer would know a little more about his/her target. Or use better language. I just got this gem the other day “I am David Freeman, a principal partner at Paull & Williamsons Solicitors in Scotland.I am contacting you because I would like to request for your undivided attention and trust in assisting with the transfer of the funds of my deceased client as next of kin before the British Treasury can commence the confiscation procedures. I advice that there should be utmost confidentiality in all matters I shall discuss with you because it is only on this premise of reliability and implicit trust in our capabilities that the exact dividends of this proposal will be achieved. Privileged information and official instruments at my disposal will enable this proposal in the right perspective for a 100% successful execution rate, it is therefore paramount for me to be assured of your discretion in handling details of this proposal which I will discuss with you once I receive an acknowledgment of this email from you with the assurance that you will work hand-in-hand with me to see these funds released to you. I await your response which should be sent ONLY to my personal email at [bozotheclown.scam.uk](http://bozotheclown.scam.uk) Thanks, David S. Freeman” Kinda looks like someone loaded a shotgun with “bigword” shot and aimed it at the screen. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/20 "2010-09-29T12:08:20Z")
I’m guessing that they’ve discovered they get the same amount of business whether they look professional or not. Or, at least, it has diminishing returns. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386.md?page=2)