# The scammers aren't even trying any more-NOT A PARODY! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386 "2010-09-28T19:42:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/21 "2010-09-29T13:18:06Z")
I just five minutes ago got an e-mail from my friend’s address with one of those things where she tells me she was mugged in London and wants me to wire her $2000. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/22 "2010-09-29T13:22:34Z")
Dear sir and/or madame, Salutations, I am GRIMHELM WORMTONGUE, The son of late Counsellor Grima Wormtongue of the Kingdom of Rohan. My father was Chief Counsellor [equivalent to Prime Minister] to late lamented king Theoden of Rohan. In his position my father altogether legally and correctly acquired significant assets throughout Rohan in order to protect the Kingdom from enemy forces within and without. In the course of lamentable events succeeding, my father was illegally deprived of office and expelled from the Kingdom. Before this he had with foresight already entirely legally deposited the sum of M.500,000,000, 000 in gold with the Bank of Gondor (Minas Tirith). While in exile in the north he was assaulted and murdered by a band of northern pigmies. His family was obliged to seek refuge in northern Dunland among some of our sympathisers. My father left to me all documents necessary to retrieve the sum of gold aforesaid from the Bank of Gondor (Minas Tirith). However, in the current political circumstances my solicitor believes it unwise for me to attempt to make the trip from Dunland to Minas Tirith, and has recommended that I seek a trustworthy foreign business partner into whose account this money could be tranferred. This appears to be the best option as we are unable to open an account in Dunland. Therefore we are seeking your trustworthy assistance and cooperation. You will provide information about your account that will enable a deposit to be made in your name. I will contact the Bank of Gondor (Minas Tirith) and inform them that the money is to be placed into your account. Upon completion of the transaction your share of the proceeds will be 15% net following deduction of all transfer fees, that is M. 75,000,000,000. If the transaction goes well we also look forward to maintaining you as a profitable business partner for future ventures. It goes without saying that I can expect your complete confidence and secrecy in keeping this matter under wraps prefatory to completion. Please reach me at my email address: mbrandybuck@ buckland. net Thank you and ERU bless. MR. GRIMHELM WORMTONGUE. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/23 "2010-09-29T13:41:03Z")
I got a Liberian letter by fax at work yesterday from Charles Taylor Jnr. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/24 "2010-09-29T13:50:03Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > my father before his death was a chairman of cocoa dealers here in bouake ivory coast Damn Cocoa Dealers…! Littering the streets with junkies desperate for their next fix!!! Do they even care how much pain they cause? Or how many familes they destroy…? ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/25 "2010-09-29T14:05:53Z")
The moral issue I have is that if you are really going to fall for one of those, should you even be trusted with having anything more than 83 cents? ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/26 "2010-09-29T14:17:18Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > The moral issue I have is that if you are really going to fall for one of those, should you even be trusted with having anything more than 83 cents? Heh. No. Not only that but why do the scammers use such ridiculously large sums of money? 15% of 75 billion dollars? Really? They would probably get more people to bite if they used smaller amount and different ruses. Like unclaimed US bonds for $100 or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/27 "2010-09-29T14:26:14Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I just five minutes ago got an e-mail from my friend’s address with one of those things where she tells me she was mugged in London and wants me to wire her $2000. What are you waiting for? She’s desparate! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/28 "2010-09-29T14:53:51Z")
Send that message to these guys: [http://www.scamorama.com/](http://www.scamorama.com/) Egads, I love that site. Just pick a thread and read it; it’s funnier than hell what they do to those bozos. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/29 "2010-09-29T15:09:09Z")
> [@](#): > > Hi Dear, > > My Name is Grace , From west Africa presently residing in ouagadougou in Burkina Faso. I was impressed seek for my soul mate, and also i like to establish a long lasting relationship with you. In addition,i will like you to reply me so that i will give you my picture and more about me.Thanks waiting to hear from you soonest. > > Love > From Miss Grace. This reminds me of an old Tom Lehrer bit. > [@](#): > > I know some people feel that marriage as an institution is dying out, but I disagree and the point was driven home to me rather forcefully not long ago by a letter I received which said: “Darling, I love you and I cannot live without you. Marry me, or I will kill myself”. Well, I was a little disturbed at that until I took another look at the envelope and saw that it was addressed to ‘occupant’. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/30 "2010-09-29T15:35:06Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I just five minutes ago got an e-mail from my friend’s address with one of those things where she tells me she was mugged in London and wants me to wire her $2000. _Please_ contact her immediately and tell her to change her email password-I can almost guarantee that everyone on her email contact list got the same message you did. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/31 "2010-09-29T15:50:49Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > “Miss Queen Gonzo?” What, are spammers just using random name generators now? > > And, that is an excellent name for a cat! It is, but it’s also, I gather, not an improbable name for a Nigerian. After all their (president? prime minister?) is (was?) Goodluck Jonathan. Real birth name. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > Where the hell did they get the idea that we address each other as “Blessed” and/or “Beloved”? I think it might be a combination of “working the religious angle” (something tells me that the overly-religious fall for these easily, one of my wife’s friends who is the overly religious type does address all her emails to my wife that way) and either the way that Africans (many of whom are overly religious (by Dope standards)) address themselves, or how we perceive them to address themselves. But then, I tend to overthink these things, making me a very bad candidate for the spams. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/32 "2010-09-29T16:40:42Z")
Sometimes scammers lift their “typical Western names” from previous victims. Scambaiters, therefore, will often use silly names- like Queen Gonzo. I once got a lad to refer to himself as Charles Manson (at least, I think he got it from me). ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/33 "2010-09-29T16:55:37Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > > [@Sigmagirl](#): > > > > I just five minutes ago got an e-mail from my friend’s address with one of those things where she tells me she was mugged in London and wants me to wire her $2000. > > _Please_ contact her immediately and tell her to change her email password-I can almost guarantee that everyone on her email contact list got the same message you did. Just don’t contact her by emailing back. I had a nice chat with a scammer who had done the same to my Mother-in-law that abruptly ended when I called MIL’s cell phone. ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/34 "2010-09-29T16:55:48Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > Dear sir and/or madame, > > Salutations, I am GRIMHELM WORMTONGUE, The son of late Counsellor > Grima Wormtongue of the Kingdom of Rohan. > … > > Please reach me at my email address: mbrandybuck@ buckland. net > > Thank you and ERU bless. > > MR. GRIMHELM WORMTONGUE. Bravo! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/35 "2010-09-29T17:06:21Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > Dear sir and/or madame, > > Salutations, I am GRIMHELM WORMTONGUE, The son of late Counsellor > Grima Wormtongue of the Kingdom of Rohan. You know if scammers were really this creative I would let myself get scammed, for like $20, just for the entertainment value. Well done. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/36 "2010-09-29T18:14:57Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Where the hell did they get the idea that we address each other as “Blessed” and/or “Beloved”? Estimable **Czarcasm** : Sri = “Blessed”(No idea how common this salutation is in India) Querido (salutation in a letter in Spanish) = “beloved” -Yr. 'umble & obdt. servant, Poly ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/37 "2010-09-29T19:01:36Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > > [@Sigmagirl](#): > > > > I just five minutes ago got an e-mail from my friend’s address with one of those things where she tells me she was mugged in London and wants me to wire her $2000. > > _Please_ contact her immediately and tell her to change her email password-I can almost guarantee that everyone on her email contact list got the same message you did. I tried to call her, but her phone is turned off, presumably because she’s at work (and not because she’s in London having been mugged and using bad syntax (“its unbelievable me and my family are stuck here,got mugged at gun point on our way to the hotel and my money,credit cards,phone and other valuable things were taken off me at gun point, thanking Almighty God for save keeping my passport.,”). I knew I couldn’t e-mail her back, so I posted to her Facebook wall. It was the only thing I could think of. I don’t know the name of the company where she works, or I would have tried to call her there. ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/38 "2010-09-29T19:30:16Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > I got a Liberian letter by fax at work yesterday from Charles Taylor Jnr. We got one of those yesterday as well. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/39 "2010-09-29T20:33:57Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > > [@Czarcasm](#): > > > > Where the hell did they get the idea that we address each other as “Blessed” and/or “Beloved”? > > Estimable **Czarcasm** : > > Sri = “Blessed”(No idea how common this salutation is in India) > Querido (salutation in a letter in Spanish) = “beloved” > > -Yr. 'umble & obdt. servant, > Poly Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386/40 "2010-09-29T23:30:59Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I just five minutes ago got an e-mail from my friend’s address with one of those things where she tells me she was mugged in London and wants me to wire her $2000. Hell I got one from myself [I use 3 email accounts regularly, and have a gmail account that I had to have to do ghu knows what on my droid phone, it was on my gmail account going to my GMX account] I of course sent myself the $2000 … [well actually I transferred it out of savings into my checking account to cover the monthly bills…]😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-scammers-arent-even-trying-any-more-not-a-parody/555386.md?page=3)