# The SDMB Anti-Vampire Weapon Development Guild

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-anti-vampire-weapon-development-guild/255371>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [July 16, 2004, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-anti-vampire-weapon-development-guild/255371 "2004-07-16T04:54:36Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\
**Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-anti-vampire-weapon-development-guild/255371/21 "2004-07-16T21:58:55Z")

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Can a priest turn an entire storm system or a city water supply into holy water?

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**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\
**Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-anti-vampire-weapon-development-guild/255371/22 "2004-07-16T22:17:15Z")

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When I was ten, I encountered what may well be the perfect weapon in the battle against vampires, werewolves, and so forth: **The Super-Abnormal Phenomena Survival Kit.**

It was in a Warren magazine, I remember that much – _Creepy_, or _Eerie_, or perhaps even _Vampirella_. It was a parody article, but was geared to look like an infomercial-style ad… which, considering this was the early seventies, would put it ahead of its time.

You could send away for the **SAPS Kit,** which included a little briefcase, a utility belt, a handgun, and a book. The case and belt contained the sorts of things you’d expect to find in a monster hunter’s side bag – stakes, garlic, mallet, silver, wolfsbane, hand grenades, and so forth… but the _pistol_, now, the pistol, and more importantly, its _ammunition_, sparked my imagination in a way that still reverberates now, thirty years later.

Each slug was composed of a lead/silver/nickel/plutonium alloy, coated with a solution of wax, holy water, wolfsbane, and cyanide, and each carried a tiny indestructible crucifix at its tip… and each slug was guaranteed blessed by the priests of some five different major religions. I mean, these things were intended to take down ANY S.A.P you might encounter! The illustrations in the article were great, too – a heavily armed commando with submachine gun, kicking down the door of a crypt, brandishing his weapon at several very surprised vampires and a misplaced mummy… and this could be YOU, with the **Super-Abnormal Phenomena Survival Kit!**

The book contained a variety of interesting nuggets of anti-monster lore and wisdom as well –  
“Stay the heck out of Transylvania. Leave this area for professional SAP hunters.”  
“Turn on the lights before going into the basement. Even if you’re only going to be a minute.”  
“Do not open coffins. Even if something from beyond horror doesn’t leap out and try to eat your face, there is, at least, a dead guy in there, and who wants to look at a dead guy? Ick.”

As a ten year old, the whole thing struck me as unutterably cool. Regrettably, even at that age, I knew it was a joke, and did not send them any money.

Now, I look back on it and think, “Jeez, silver? Plutonium? How much did those bullets COST? And some schmoe is out there hosing them around in a machine gun?”

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