# The SDMB "He Hate Me, He Hate Me Not" Football League **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 21, 2003, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924 "2003-07-21T14:50:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/41 "2003-07-23T20:08:22Z")
Kordell? Kordell? KORDELL? man, I wish Bubby Brister was still around… If Tommy Maddox is there, maybe… ---
**Author:** ![mrchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@mrchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrchan)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/42 "2003-07-23T23:43:11Z")
quit ur whining, i got 13th! the worst pick, i’m at the end, i don’t get back to back picks, and i’m lucky number 13th. its a conspiracy! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/43 "2003-07-24T02:24:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamlet \* > \*\*In only had the clap because **ShibbOleth** refused to used protection, that jerk. And you gave him 2nd! What’s he got that I haven’t got. I mean other than that huge penis and a porn star’s stamina. And good looks. And more money than God. And a thousand slave-women whose only goal is to satisfy him and his friends. And a thermos. Huh? What’s he got!!! \*\* LIAR!!! I don’t own a thermos… Besides, I finally got dropped down from first to second draft position this year. At least I probably won’t feel compelled to take Marshall Faulk. Now we need a mock draft in this order… ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/44 "2003-07-24T02:30:00Z")
Whoaaa, number **1**! Rich Gannon here I come!!! ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/45 "2003-07-24T14:15:51Z")
For those who haven’t checked out the league page, I recently added two spots to the roster (just bench positions). Since we won’t be locking the free agent pool, this will help people fill their roster with backups and insurance players. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/46 "2003-07-24T16:55:54Z")
I was really happy to see the expanded bench. And I don’t like my spot either (# 7). Does anybody? ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/47 "2003-07-24T17:03:03Z")
Everything is looking good, **Munch**. Let me be the first to thank you for your work to get this up and going. Let me also be the first to tell you I will crush you like a bug. Just to get the smack rolling. I’m 90% certain who I’m going to end up with my first pick, but I’ll be darned if I know much beyond that. This should be fun. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/48 "2003-07-24T18:27:06Z")
mrchan asked earlier how the keeper league is going to work. We’re going to do it as simply as possible. At the start of next season (2004), you choose 3 players from your 2003 roster you want to keep. Since the Yahoo draft won’t allow me to enter in the first 3 rounds, then set it to go, we’ll have to manually pick our first three keepers. If someone fucks up, then they get severely beaten. It sounds easy, and should be easy. We’ll just have to make sure that everyone is aware of the rules and sets their top 3 pre-draft picks as their keepers come next year. If we want, at that time we can alter the rules for the next season (2005) - but that’s quite a ways down the line. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/49 "2003-07-24T18:30:13Z")
I think we should choose our keepers at the end of this season, not the beginning of next season. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/50 "2003-07-24T18:58:52Z")
How about at the beginning of training camp? I’d hate to see someone lose a keeper if someone blows a knee riding go-karts in April. Or we could have a reserve keeper, if something of the sort happens. I just worry about Hamlet spending his entire off-season plotting the downfall of Priest Holmes, and waiting for him behind a corner so he can trip him. I could also see Steelerphan sending McNabb subliminal messages all off-season making him fear all pork products, including footballs, just to screw someone over. p.s. You’re all going down. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/51 "2003-07-24T20:01:49Z")
I agree with W.L. God, I never thought I’d say those words. I think the keeper decision should be made at the start of next season or the end of the season rather than just taking the first three picked in the draft. That way you can spend a couple late rounders on guys, maybe like McGahee, who won’t see a lick of playing time this year, but may be a stud in a year or two. [sub]Hamlet goes off to spike Holmes’ gatorade with LSD[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/52 "2003-07-24T20:28:51Z")
No, no. I’m not saying the first three picks of _this_ draft be next year’s keepers. I’m saying that this year’s keepers be next year’s first three picks. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/53 "2003-07-24T20:40:24Z")
To clarify. Say at the end of this season you decide you want to keep McGahee (who won’t crack this year’s first 5 rounds), Larry Johnson (if, say, Hamlet blows up Priest Holmes with 8 tons of firecrackers and snap-pops) and Donte Stallworth - all players that most likely won’t be picked in this year’s first 3 rounds. “Okay, Munch. I want to keepy McGahee, Johnson and Stallworth.” Very good. Now, _next_ year, your first three picks will be those three people. T’will be just like a keeper league, as it is, in fact, a keeper league. If you make those three your first three pre-picks, and everyone else makes their keepers their first three pre-picks, and someone can’t make the draft, the computer will still follow suit and put the right players on your rosters. And even is someone fucks up, it’s still salvageable during the draft (i.e. if I’m keeping Portis, and Shibb goes Kaczynski on us and picks Portis before my turn comes around, I just pick one of Shibb’s keepers, and we switch after the trade). Easy, peasy, Japan etc. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/54 "2003-07-24T20:45:54Z")
Ahhh, it all makes sense now. You and Willis McGahee salvaged three people to cook with peas and Japanese pop to serve for dinner to Ted Kaczynski and Priest Larry while wearing suits. Got it. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/55 "2003-07-24T23:19:19Z")
Well now you’re confusing me **Munch**. Before you were saying we pick keepers when next season starts, now you’re saying at the end of this year. Which is it? Because my point was that I think we should pick keepers right after this season ends instead of getting to see the whole offseason first. Makes it more challenging. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/56 "2003-07-25T02:45:10Z")
Hell if I know! It would make it more difficult to pick at the end of this season, but it also adds a whole lotta luck into the equation. I say put it to a vote (although I hate making everyone chime in about every piddly matter). I’d say we pick our keepers once this thread starts back up next year, or when the mock drafts fire up next season. Having decisions to make in the off season is fun. And making fun of Hamlet when he forgets that Ahman Green was locked in jail for grand theft auto and puts him on his keeper list will be even more fun. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/57 "2003-07-25T03:08:45Z")
I agree with WL – I vote for end of year decision on keepers. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/58 "2003-07-25T03:33:37Z")
My vote is end of season. There is a risk of off-season mishaps but that’s the chance you take. Whenever I say something like this it turns around and bites me in the ass. Seriously, how many marquee players are lost to the NFL in the offseason? Even the ones in legal trouble get off, for the most part. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/59 "2003-07-25T13:42:21Z")
Sounds good. And since we’re forming end of the year decisions, should next year’s draft be dependant upon how you finish this year? Worst goes first? ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924/60 "2003-07-25T15:00:52Z")
Worst to first. Just like the NFL. One other quick question: What is the 1,342nd prime number? Oh, and another quick question: Is it mandatory to keep 3? I can’t imagine not having 3 people I’d want to keep, but I also cant imagine a silver-spoon frat boy whose only major accomplishment is quicking drinking when he was 40, who had a prior DUI and lied about it, and never had a job or money that his Daddy didn’t get him being the president of the United States. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-he-hate-me-he-hate-me-not-football-league/189924.md?page=4)