# The SDMB heist! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2017, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295 "2017-04-26T15:50:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/41 "2017-04-26T21:53:39Z")
I can start a bar brawl as a distraction. Enough martial arts training to hold my own and keep the distraction going. I will require beer and bail money as expenses on top of my share. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/42 "2017-04-26T22:04:33Z")
I could write a poem to memorialize the tragedy, the loss of life, the ruined hopes and the whole bloody fiasco. …or I could light a campfire with one match. Which ever you’d prefer. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/43 "2017-04-26T22:06:09Z")
> [@Balance](#): > > I’m also improbably inconspicuous, having been repeatedly overlooked while standing in a sunlit meadow, wearing a shiny golden dragon costume. Wait wait wait… _do you still have the dragon costume?_ THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! I learned to drive in a van, and it sounds like we’ll need several for the size of a group we’ve got so far. I live in a building where the Dillinger gang met to prepare for one of their heists, so I’ve got that historical aspect covered, too. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/44 "2017-04-26T22:10:15Z")
I’m good at sitting and holding things for others who are out heisting. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/45 "2017-04-26T22:10:34Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Wait wait wait… _do you still have the dragon costume?_ THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! True, and it just happened again! ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/46 "2017-04-26T22:18:22Z")
I thought by the OP title, we were planning on taking over the SDMB for peace, harmony, and fighting ignorance. All I can offer is I like Gerbils and have the advice from a veterinarian how to increase their output by 95-100%. Treadmills will cost extra of course. I need to cover my expenses after all. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/47 "2017-04-26T22:30:15Z")
> [@Cabin\_Fever](#): > > I thought by the OP title, we were planning on taking over the SDMB for peace, harmony, and fighting ignorance. > All I can offer is I like Gerbils and have the advice from a veterinarian how to increase their output by 95-100%. > Treadmills will cost extra of course. I need to cover my expenses after all. You have treadmills? Just what we need for the getaway plane! ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/48 "2017-04-26T22:30:52Z")
> [@Cabin\_Fever](#): > > All I can offer is I like Gerbils and have the advice from a veterinarian how to increase their output by 95-100%. Shodan will stroke the gerbils. I, too, work for beer. Yes, I’ll navigate, and can spell QS behind the wheel as needed. You’ve piqued my curiosity, what is our getaway car? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/49 "2017-04-26T22:36:57Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > Yes, I’ll navigate, and can spell QS behind the wheel as needed. You’ve piqued my curiosity, what is our getaway car? I don’t want the tip off the authorities, but the engine is hand built in Affalterbach. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/50 "2017-04-26T22:38:17Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > I can make beer, wine, and liquor for the post-heist celebration. > [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I’m pretty witty and clever when I have a few - but not too many - beers. > [@snfaulkner](#): > > I will require beer and bail money as expenses on top of my share. > [@Bullitt](#): > > I, too, work for beer. OK, looks like my skills can be used to finance half the team. In return, you can pay me in beer. Wait… ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/51 "2017-04-26T22:40:45Z")
My professional experience is in prison operations. Give me a call if things don’t work out. ---
**Author:** ![ASGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@ASGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/52 "2017-04-26T22:42:39Z")
I’m a printer and I can print casually passable counterfeit money. So if if we need a suitcase full of $100 bills which will fool someone for a short while I’m the Man! Also, I’m conversant with railroad signalling protocols so if we need to reroute that train loaded with stolen Nazi gold bullion I can make it happen. Not me, but my niece is a medical doctor and I think for a price she will treat our numerous gunshot wounds on the QT. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/53 "2017-04-26T22:45:20Z")
I’m also pretty good at untangling cables, so there’s that. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/54 "2017-04-26T22:47:25Z")
We’re going to need a large EMP. Anybody? The board is full of egg-heads, but never when you really need one. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/55 "2017-04-26T23:20:26Z")
I have skills in electronics and radar, and with a few odds and ends I could fab up an EMP device. Also, thermite. I can also drive, pilot a light plane and could probably get us off the ground in a Jet Ranger or Eurocopter A-Star but no promises it’ll be a smooth landing. I’m also conversationally fluent in French, a smattering of German and can do voices and accents plus play guitar. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/56 "2017-04-26T23:28:11Z")
I have an accounting degree, and am a good bookkeeper. As my username implies, I’m a baker. I could whip us stuff too tasty to resist, and poison/sedate whoever we’re heisting. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/57 "2017-04-26T23:32:29Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > I have an accounting degree, and am a good bookkeeper. As my username implies, I’m a baker. I could whip us stuff too tasty to resist, and poison/sedate whoever we’re heisting. So you can cook the books? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/58 "2017-04-26T23:39:28Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Wait wait wait… _do you still have the dragon costume?_ THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! Alas, one of my non-heist-applicable talents is being an irony magnet. The dragon costume was lost in a fire. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/59 "2017-04-27T00:00:29Z")
I can tear web pages and webapps into pieces and get information from them even if their designers really would rather I wasn’t able to get such information in a convenient fashion. Downloading component files with referrer spoofing, snooping traffic flow to see where assets are coming from, things like that. It doesn’t really have a convenient name that I know of, probably because most of the people who do it don’t really talk about it, but it’s akin to copy-protection cracking applied to webapps, only without the copyright violations. Webapp cracking. I know quite a bit about computer networking in general. I know what tools exist to do various things. I know where I might be able to find more information quickly, and without anyone knowing what I’m getting. You know, the usual. I can program, of course, including writing shell scripts for pretty much any Unix-like system, including modern Macs. Being able to program them without needing a lot of extra tools is very nice, and I know where to get (or how to make) lots more tools for free. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/60 "2017-04-27T00:05:49Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > I can tear web pages and webapps into pieces and get information from them even if their designers really would rather I wasn’t able to get such information in a convenient fashion. Downloading component files with referrer spoofing, snooping traffic flow to see where assets are coming from, things like that. It doesn’t really have a convenient name that I know of, probably because most of the people who do it don’t really talk about it, but it’s akin to copy-protection cracking applied to webapps, only without the copyright violations. Webapp cracking. > > I know quite a bit about computer networking in general. I know what tools exist to do various things. I know where I might be able to find more information quickly, and without anyone knowing what I’m getting. You know, the usual. > > I can program, of course, including writing shell scripts for pretty much any Unix-like system, including modern Macs. Being able to program them without needing a lot of extra tools is very nice, and I know where to get (or how to make) lots more tools for free. Got a Hacker!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295.md?page=4)