# The SDMB heist! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2017, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295 "2017-04-26T15:50:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/61 "2017-04-27T00:07:15Z")
How big is this heist going to be, seeing as it’s being divided 115 ways? ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/62 "2017-04-27T00:09:03Z")
I’m also a good bookkeeper. I’m sure we’ll need two of us to keep track of all of our loot, so maybe I can be of some use. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/63 "2017-04-27T00:09:24Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > How big is this heist going to be, seeing as it’s being divided 115 ways? 115 ways _after_ beer/expenses… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/64 "2017-04-27T00:11:47Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > 115 ways _after_ beer/expenses… Goes without saying. 😉 Helpful hint from George Carlin: a good way to get rid of counterfeit money is to drop it in the collection plate at church. ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/65 "2017-04-27T00:14:22Z")
With the use of a comfy chair, I can hypnotize people. Doesn’t every heist need someone to hypnotize the guards? If the guards turn out to be resistant to hypnosis, we can use the comfy chair for torture. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/66 "2017-04-27T01:12:41Z")
So what are they going to call the movie they make about this caper? And who does Matt Damon play? ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/67 "2017-04-27T02:13:54Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > Well, if we’re casting this like a typical heist movie, I’ll be the team member who has a personal issue he hasn’t told anyone about. For example, if the plan involves crawling through a narrow tunnel, I’ll be the guy who has claustrophobia and flips out at the worst possible moment. Oh yeah, we definitely need one of those. You can be our Telly Savalas. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/68 "2017-04-27T03:01:03Z")
> [@dtilque](#): > > So what are they going to call the movie they make about this caper? And who does Matt Damon play? Dope’s Eleven. The Dope Job. The Dope Connection. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/69 "2017-04-27T03:10:41Z")
The Great EsDope. The Dopey Dozen. The Great Train Dopery. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/70 "2017-04-27T03:30:30Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Wait wait wait… _do you still have the dragon costume?_ THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! & I’ve worn chainmail knight’s attire while accompanying a dragon. Though our dragon isn’t so inconspicuous as he’s pink & purple & 145’ tall! I also do a lot of video, especially high angle & aerial, for the stakeout & planning phases. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/71 "2017-04-27T03:45:55Z")
Can speak Mandarin Chinese. Know how some nuclear weapons are made (basic blueprints only, nothing complex or classified.) Can memorize music by ear and then play it on a piano, or reproduce it, without ever seeing the notes on paper. (I have no idea what that is useful for, but it might be…) Can do math very quickly in my head, but only if it’s simple stuff. ---
**Author:** ![rbell2915](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rbell2915](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbell2915)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/72 "2017-04-27T08:29:13Z")
Firearms and CQB training. Can also interrogate and fast rope out of helicopters. Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Sanchez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19adc/32.png) [@Rick\_Sanchez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Sanchez)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/73 "2017-04-27T09:11:29Z")
I’ll make the tea. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/74 "2017-04-27T12:56:31Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > We’re going to need a large EMP. Anybody? > > The board is full of egg-heads, but never when you really need one. The artillery I shot is nuke capable, so if someone can get the 155mm nuke round, I can aim it and shoot it. Oh and while they’re at it, someone please dig up an M-198 howitzer to fire that round. And the 13-man crew to man it, too. > [@QuickSilver](#): > > I don’t want the tip off the authorities, but the engine is hand built in Affalterbach. Nice. I’ll definitely help you drive that baby. And I can fast rope out of helicopters along with **rbell2915**. We have a good team coming together. But we’re gonna need a lot of beer… ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/75 "2017-04-27T13:27:57Z")
**Sparky812** - Jack of all trades/ Macgyver type. - Great with the ladies and at parties due to looks, charm, wit, and musicianship. - Can beat most people in a fight if I can’t talk my way out. _Bonus_ Can run faster than anyone chasing me! ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/76 "2017-04-27T13:59:31Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > We have a good team coming together. But we’re gonna need a lot of beer… Still need an underwater welder and a dirigible. You think we need one more? Yeah, we’ll need one more… ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/77 "2017-04-27T14:17:35Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I can be the Evil Guy with the sonorous voice whose face is always in shadow, who kills traitors with ingeniously planned devices built into the chairs. > > I can’t be stroking a white cat, though, because I am allergic. We will have to make it a gerbil instead. > > Regards, > Shodan “Those” types are always giving away the whole plan in intricate detail to whoever will listen, while never ensuring that their elaborate execution is actually successful, therefore allowing for an escape. Thanks but no thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/78 "2017-04-27T14:55:06Z")
I took years and years of survival and leadership training through the Canadian Air Cadets. Big toes have permanently lost the feeling in them, I’m pretty comfortable with hypothermia. If your heist is in the arctic, I’m your George Clooney. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/79 "2017-04-27T15:27:02Z")
> [@Sparky812](#): > > “Those” types are always giving away the whole plan in intricate detail to whoever will listen, while never ensuring that their elaborate execution is actually successful, therefore allowing for an escape. > > Thanks but no thanks! The [Evil Overlord list](http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html) says that we should always have a six year old child on staff to point out holes in the plan. Maybe I can do that role. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/80 "2017-04-27T15:32:12Z")
I have one simple request: I need for everyone to speak loudly, distinctly, and only one at a time. And it would help if you would state your name each time you talk. Also provide a detailed review what others have told you. Thank you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295.md?page=5)