# The SDMB heist! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2017, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295 "2017-04-26T15:50:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Jumpbass](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jumpbass/32/147_2.png) [@Jumpbass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jumpbass)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/81 "2017-04-27T15:48:16Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > I also play a little banjo. How about a regular sized one?šŸ˜ƒ Iā€™ll play bass along with you. Foggy Mountain in G? Bonnie & Clyde escape music. I know woodworking, dabble in general repair/ problem solving. I can drive a bus or van. I can be the angry guy on the team. Iā€™m good at that. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/82 "2017-04-27T16:18:42Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > The Great EsDope. > > The Dopey Dozen. > > The Great Train Dopery. I vote Dopey Dozen. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/83 "2017-04-27T16:28:38Z")
Iā€™m really useful! I can read all of our health insurance policy to make sureā€¦ wait, what? Weā€™re not insured? Fine! Um, okay, I can bring a really big, mean cat who will go through soldiers like butter if it means he gets a can of wet food. Heā€™s like a furry cannonball with teeth. And heā€™s deaf, so alarms and explosions wonā€™t bother him! ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/84 "2017-04-27T17:15:39Z")
Iā€™m sure you already have a pilot, but I can fly a single-engine airplane, complete with excellent flight-planning and navigation skills. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/85 "2017-04-27T17:25:43Z")
> [@MikeF](#): > > I can fly a motorless airplane (technically not an airplane but a glider) if you want to make a stealthy approach. For the escape I have ā€œRetiredā€ badge that might get us through any roadblocks. Have your own personal glider, or access to one? Need to know how many paratroopers it can carry, or how much cargo, and best glide ratio/speed! Call me if you need other pilots for the fleet. Have access to fleet of gliders I could hijack, but will need stealth tow planes and pilots. I can also help train the kamikaze dolphins. ETA: > [@somepumpkin](#): > > Iā€™m sure you already have a pilot, but I can fly a single-engine airplane, complete with excellent flight-planning and navigation skills. Okay, we have our tow pilot. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/86 "2017-04-27T17:46:42Z")
I am opposed to kamikaze dolphins! Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/87 "2017-04-27T17:53:26Z")
> [@whitetho](#): > > I have one simple request: I need for everyone to speak loudly, distinctly, and only one at a time. And it would help if you would state your name each time you talk. Also provide a detailed review what others have told you. Thank you. **whitetho** Iā€™ll need you to meet at the abandoned quarry at 2am tonight. Urgent heist business to discuss. Tell no-one of this. Since it seems like beer supplies are going to be tight I am willing to be paid in top of the line GeForce graphics cards. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/88 "2017-04-27T18:30:49Z")
Iā€™m more of an ideas guy, you know ? ---
**Author:** ![Plumpudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Plumpudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plumpudding)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/89 "2017-04-27T18:49:18Z")
I have a low instinct for self-preservation. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/90 "2017-04-27T21:37:53Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > The Great EsDope. > > The Dopey Dozen. > > The Great Train Dopery. The Cecil Adams Affair ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/91 "2017-04-27T23:34:07Z")
Iā€™m familiar with some great fences - Barb Wire, Shayne Link, Split Rail, Pointed Picket, for a few. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/92 "2017-04-27T23:40:56Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > The Cecil Adams Affair The Usual Dopers Reservoir Dopes Doped Fiction ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/93 "2017-04-28T00:05:08Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > The Usual Dopers > > Reservoir Dopes > > Doped Fiction Oceanā€™s Millions (or Teeming Eleven) ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/94 "2017-04-28T06:22:21Z")
Iā€™m very good at pretending to be a slightly posh British person, which is a surprisingly helpful skill. Also, as an experienced journalist, Iā€™ve got very good information-gathering and research skills. And I can drive a right-hand drive car, which might be helpful if this heist takes place nearly anywhere in what used to be the British Empire. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/95 "2017-04-28T11:39:14Z")
I crack under pressure if the police ask tough questions as ā€œDid you do it?ā€ Probably best for the role of the poor guy who dies quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/96 "2017-04-28T11:59:51Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > The Usual Dopers > > Reservoir Dopes > > Doped Fiction The Doper Job You know Iā€™m pretty unlucky. I could be the guy that gets assigned one simple thing to do (like keep a charming young heiress distracted) but it goes wrong (say, her old boyfriend unexpectedly shows up and wants to get something he left behind in the vault) and the Plan starts to unravel. I could surely do that. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/97 "2017-04-28T12:04:58Z")
Organic chemist here. Do we have a well-equipped lab? ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/98 "2017-04-28T12:20:57Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Oceanā€™s Millions (or Teeming Eleven) **iiandyiiii** ā€™s Dopers **iiandyiiii** ā€™s Nighty-Eight (or however many. This is the 98th thread post so far. Inglourious Dopars ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/99 "2017-04-28T12:32:26Z")
I am an overweight middle-aged woman. Virtually invisible in any circumstances. I have an authoritative voice which cows all but the truest narcissists. And thereā€™s what my friends and co-workers refer to as ā€œThe eyebrow powers.ā€ If your Mother had them, you know what I mean. I am an excellent sniper. I am also a Quaker, so I wonā€™t kill anyone, but I can be bent to the use of tranquilizing darts. I remain preternaturally calm in emergencies, only falling apart after itā€™s all over and dealt with. A formidable ability in tight corners. There are a few other skills I learned in my early career. I could tell you, but then Iā€™d have to . . . use them. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/100 "2017-04-28T12:35:10Z")
Cecilā€™s Angels? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295.md?page=6)