# The SDMB heist! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2017, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295 "2017-04-26T15:50:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/101 "2017-04-28T14:07:38Z")
The Family Adams? ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/102 "2017-04-28T14:12:20Z")
But for this my best skill is the ability to convincingly talk utter nonsense. I’m quick-thinking and cool under pressure. I’m good at BS’ing and getting people to believe I am what I say I am. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/103 "2017-04-28T19:54:22Z")
I could spend all the money in really dumb ways. I could bust you out of jail when you get sent down - I have the keys. Forged passports, forged I.Ds, getaway cars, hideaways in other countries, yup, I know who can do that for you - but it will cost. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/104 "2017-04-28T22:14:15Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Cecil’s Angels? Yes. Especially if we get very tight outfits. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/105 "2017-04-28T22:34:06Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > We’re planning a heist! Target TBD. What skills do you bring to the table? Always wished I was in the French Resistance. I’d have been the master forger. At work (ad agency) they’d come to me and ask if i had my Goudy Oldstyle Pen or my Gill Sans Pen handy, because I could hand-letter something indistinguishable from a font. I think it’s my ability to so clearly visualize what the type should look like that I’m just tracing the “mentally projected” image. So if you need documents, security badges, or bathroom passes for the hallway that the server/lab/vault is in, I’m on board. (Oh, if you need passports, I might need some practice on the holograms and security features…) ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/106 "2017-04-28T23:25:02Z")
Need an escape route? My farts can clear crowds and stop traffic. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/107 "2017-04-28T23:26:21Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > If we need to create a diversion by sliding granite stones along a sheet of ice… I’m your guy. Ooh, ooh! If we need to travel undercover as a curling team (I even know to say “rink”), I can throw an out-turn guard that’ll sit down right on the hog line. Only works as a part of our plan if the target is in Scotland, Switzerland or Canada where we can count on a handy “bonspiel” nearby. Bonus: we get to wear loud tartan sweaters, and carry bottles of really good single-malt Scotch. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/108 "2017-04-28T23:48:17Z")
I could defend the rest of you in court if things go South. Actually, only the first one to call me. We’ll cut a deal and snitch out everyone else. Sorry about that ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/109 "2017-04-30T01:02:30Z")
As seen [here](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0506651/), I have created a device that makes groups of people think they are upside down. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/110 "2017-04-30T17:36:58Z")
> [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](#): > > Need an escape route? My farts can clear crowds and stop traffic. I can join forces with you if we can stop at Burger King for onion rings on the way. ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/111 "2017-04-30T17:45:25Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I can join forces with you if we can stop at Burger King for onion rings on the way. Onion rings will make the two of us the Deadly Duo. Better get some gas masks for the rest of the team. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/112 "2017-04-30T18:00:07Z")
I’m gonna tell the authorities about all of you unless I receive a substantial bribe. I don’t like beer. I do like money. And drugs; I really like drugs. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/113 "2017-04-30T19:36:25Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > And drugs; I really like drugs. Will onion rings do? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/114 "2017-04-30T22:40:47Z")
I’m happy to kill random people whenever necessary. The more the better. You can call me Mr. Brown. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/115 "2017-05-01T00:28:04Z")
I program robots. That is, if you need robots to position round, flat things to within 25 microns… ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/116 "2017-05-01T00:31:47Z")
When will the OP reveal the heist, I mean, who is going to be ripped off or strung? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/117 "2017-05-01T00:44:53Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Will onion rings do? May I have a Steak Burger with that? ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2017, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/118 "2017-05-02T03:37:46Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I’m happy to kill random people whenever necessary. The more the better. You can call me Mr. Brown. I have a little list . . . and they’d none of 'em be missed! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2017, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/119 "2017-05-02T04:28:34Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > When will the OP reveal the heist, I mean, who is going to be ripped off or strung? Ooh, bad news. If you didn’t get the coded note detailing the mark, you are the mark. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2017, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295/120 "2017-05-02T22:41:25Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I’m happy to kill random people whenever necessary. The more the better. You can call me Mr. Brown. Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?!? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-heist/785295.md?page=5)