# The SDMB Legion of Honor **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 12, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367 "2000-05-12T20:48:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SingleDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SingleDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleDad)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/1 "2000-05-12T20:48:51Z")
Lexicon is forming the [SDMB Legion of Doom](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24315). Naturally the such an organization exists not for the purpose of _exercising_ its power for evil, but to pit itself against the forces of good in the eternal Zoroastrian struggle. Symmetry demands the formation of the countervailing agency itself existing for the purpose of continuing the struggle. Naturally, I myself would form the chief of this organization, having the necessary single-minded dedication to Truth, Justice and the American way. An Executive Officer: Since I’m more of an “idea man,” I need someone with good management skills to oversee the complicated details of running such an organization and provide a check on my own authority. One bumbling but incredibly lucky top secret agent. Clueless, but able to turn his or her naivite into success on the most difficult of missions. Also a love interest, capable but unambitious, to provide common sense and ability at those rare but crucial times that bumbling inefficiency cannot carry the plot. One superhero, virtually invincible but wrapped up in his or her own concerns and providing assitance to our organization only out of swiftly diminishing vestigial loyalty to the concept of human good. Naturally we will need our own suave, capable secret agent, boffing his or her way through the mission, effortlessly eliminating dozens of the enemy horde without a hair out of place. A brilliant but absent-minded scientist, creating gadgets of awesome complexity and uncertain reliability. We will need a quantity of ordinary agents, to stand in flowerpots, infiltrate the enemy in disguises that succeed only because of their outrageousness. It’s a boring task, but often the mission will succeed only because of the opportune appearance of the lackey to nudge the balance in our favor. Of course, double agents provide the necessary spice and ontological complexity to any Manichaean endeavor. Membership in the Legion of Doom is no bar to acceptance in the Legion of Honor. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/2 "2000-05-12T20:57:31Z")
Can there be any doubt? I would be the perfect bumbling secret agent. Clueless? That’s me! ---
**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/3 "2000-05-12T20:58:13Z")
Where does one apply for such a position? Do I qualify and for what? Did I mention that I have 10 years management experience? ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/4 "2000-05-12T21:01:23Z")
I hope you don’t mind if a member of the enemy posts here, but Wally what do you think you’re doing. You have already been seconded to the Legion of doom. I will have to report this treachery to the one in charge. Keith ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/5 "2000-05-12T21:05:05Z")
> [@](#): > > We will need a quantity of ordinary agents, to stand in flowerpots, infiltrate the enemy in disguises that succeed only because of their outrageousness. Hell, they don’t make 'em more ordinary than yours truly. Where do I sign up? ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/6 "2000-05-12T21:07:17Z")
_Also a love interest, capable but unambitious, to provide common sense and ability at those rare but crucial times that bumbling inefficiency cannot carry the plot._ OK, I’ll be WallyM7’s love interest. WallyM7, please close your zipper and pull that piece of toilet paper out of your shoe. And take off those glasses! You’re not fooling anybody. Instead, try this hat and reversible jacket. Now why don’t you go out and check your snitches while I pore over the Russian scientific journals for information. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/7 "2000-05-12T21:09:22Z")
I submit my application, I think I am suited to the suave agent boffing his way to the goal…yet my username probably suits me in a couple other job descriptions. Anyone doubting my capability as the Bondesque agent always getting the girl, please join us in chat any time 🆒. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/8 "2000-05-12T21:16:02Z")
Could I be the scientist? I always liked coming up with little gadgets and stuff. Or perhaps the suave capable Secret Agent? Hmm… which one…? I think I’ll go with the scientist please. I like that idea. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/9 "2000-05-12T21:56:20Z")
I could be the absent-minded scientist that is contantly making gadgets like plamsa bombs out of fire extenguishers and duct tape, or forcefields out of aluminum foil, a clock radio, and a car antenna. My gadgets will work _most_ of the time, more or less. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/10 "2000-05-12T22:50:58Z")
Ok I’ll submit my application. But I have to tell you I’ve already applied to Lex also. Can you give me a better position? I mean a woman’s got to make a living. ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/11 "2000-05-12T22:58:13Z")
Can I be the mascot!?! I can get in trouble but I am lovable!! Plus I am a squirrel!! I bet those fools at the leigon of evil or whatever theyre name is dont even have a mascot yet so pootie on them 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/12 "2000-05-12T23:22:24Z")
Ooo…can I apply? I want to be the secretary to Omni’s agent. Ya know, the one who flirts and puts up with him. Sorta like Miss Moneypenny and James Bond. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/13 "2000-05-12T23:26:04Z")
I’d like to be Miss Moneypenny, please. Then all I’d be required to do is be mysterious, flirtatious, and show up from time to time and act as window dressing. I think I can manage that without compromising the mission. Waddaya say, boss? ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/14 "2000-05-12T23:30:41Z")
Hmmm…perhaps there could be TWO Moneypennys, Shayna. Somehow I don’t think Wally and Omni would mind… ---
**Author:** ![Shadenwawa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Shadenwawa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadenwawa)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/15 "2000-05-12T23:34:35Z")
I wanna be the secret guy! I wanna be the secret guy!! No one will know it was **me**! **Shadenwawa** , who wants to be the _ **SECRET GUY** _ since he is **so SUBTLE**. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/16 "2000-05-12T23:42:40Z")
Have \none\ of you given thought to how this organisation is to be funded ?? I’d tell you how - but then i’d have to bill you. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/17 "2000-05-13T00:16:56Z")
And no, i can’t edit the above because i don’t have a bloody password. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/18 "2000-05-13T01:20:38Z")
I wanna be the Sexy Lady Spy, ok? i already have some black fishnet stockings and stiletto heels and Sealemon can make me some cool Sexy Lady Spy gadgets – you know, poison lipstick, a powder puff hand grenade, a cleavage camera… Stuff like that. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/19 "2000-05-13T01:33:12Z")
Let me be the treasurer. I’ve already got the plane tickets to Argentina. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367/20 "2000-05-13T02:00:14Z")
Oooh, oooh, can I be a plucky and valiant female second lead? The one who nurtures a secret crush on the Suave Agent, displays an unexpected expertise with firearms due to a tomboy childhood and remains loyal, levelheaded and somewhat oblivious? Does the Legion Of Honor have room for WWII flick characters as well as Bondian ones? If not, I wanna be a spy–the kind standing in the flowerpots. I have a great disguise already: Groucho glasses, fake mustache and plastic nose. And I can talk into my shoe, as long as the Dr. Scholl’s insole liner doesn’t fall out. Veb [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-legion-of-honor/19367.md?page=2)