# The SDMB Newbie Rites of Initiation (or **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369 "2000-12-06T20:38:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/281 "2000-12-23T00:24:14Z")
Whew, Thanks! I thought I missed something VERY important. And as for you corvus, grrrrr… let the sibling rivalry begin… I warn you, I have three older sisters, so I’m tough. ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/282 "2000-12-23T02:59:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Totoro \* > \*\*Whew, Thanks! I thought I missed something VERY important. And as for you corvus, grrrrr… let the sibling rivalry begin… > > I warn you, I have three older sisters, so I’m tough. \*\* Well, I hate to burst your bubble but I have one little sister who would try the patience of a saint. She has made it her sole purpose in life to drive me insane. Due to her, I no longer fear death… So give me your best shot, I think can take it… 🙂 ::sticks out tounge:: ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/283 "2000-12-23T06:45:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Just A Girl \* > Well Dire Wolf (or would you prefer me call you some name that somehow states your vast superiority?), I can’t say I have any burning questions right now. Just rescue me from obscurity in this place! Dire Wolf, or DW, will be fine. I’m just a regular Joe Doper. I’ve bumped into quite a few threads that you’ve responded to, Just A Girl, and I must say, you’re doing quite fine on your own. Well written posts, combined with correct usage of grammar, spelling, and punctuation. You’ve even been quoted! You’re a model newbie, J.A.G., and you’re sure to make your own mark soon enough. The urge to shave your legs everyday is a good start. 😛 Since I am required to sponsor someone as part of my own passage to a 4 digit post count (sort of like a masters thesis, I guess), I’ll come up with something appropriate for you to do. You may of course be excused until after Christmas if you’d like, provided you save me some cookies or something sweet (_cough_ dark chocolate _cough cough_). I’m easy. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![StephenG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@StephenG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StephenG)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2000, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/284 "2000-12-26T07:42:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Corvus \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Kat \* > > \*\*Oh, look, my newbie’s back! I was so worried…you didn’t even take a jacket with you…you could’ve got pee-new-monya. **Corvus** say hello to your new adopted newbie-sibling **Totoro**. > > > > **Totoro** I will work on putting together a list of chores for you in the next couple of days. \*\* > > Hi **Totoro**! > > Are we supposed to start some sort of newbie-sibling rivalry now? 🙂 \*\* Well, actually guys, if you take a look at the example **DynoSaur** and I set … 🙂 I think we get along pretty well, thank you; we’ve bonded in the face of adversity, one might say, have been orphaned at such young and tender ages. “Orphaned?” you say, “I don’t understand!” It’s quite simple, really: we were adopted, and then abandoned, set aside, cast adrift, in a cruel and unfriendly world… Okay, I promise that’s the last time I’ll mention this. Off to more constructive things… ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2000, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/285 "2000-12-26T18:07:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Well, actually guys, if you take a look at the example DynoSaur and I set … I think we get along pretty well, thank you; we’ve bonded in the face of adversity, one might say, have been orphaned at such young and tender ages. “Orphaned?” you say, “I don’t understand!” It’s quite simple, really: we were adopted, and then abandoned, set aside, cast adrift, in a cruel and unfriendly world… > > Okay, I promise that’s the last time I’ll mention this. Off to more constructive things…\*\* I’m sorry, I’m just terrible at this, aren’t I? _hangs head in shame_ Well, I think I will just adopt you both, since I like you two so much! _hugs_ ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/286 "2000-12-26T18:52:42Z")
PC/M + M(100) = ? For myself, 2076/9 + 9(100) = 1130.7. I’m one of the “Middle Guard” now (as opposed to “Old Guard”) I will entertain adopting a newbie. She must be female, and I would prefer someone interested in the sciences, like myself. But this is not necessary. Lesbians, Bi, and TG/TS strongly encouraged - I can lend a very supportive ear to you. Anyone who wants Aunt Una to be their protector and mentor, apply herein. Una ---
**Author:** ![Just\_A\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@Just\_A\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_A_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2000, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/287 "2000-12-27T06:54:30Z")
Alright DW…I’m pretty much recovered from Christmas for the most part, and ready to serve you. You’ve pumped up my ego a bit, and I thank you. 😃 So…ready for my tasks, or whatever it is your “master thesis” calls for. I’m sorry but I’m partial to the dark chocolate myself…but I’ll see if I can scrounge some up…you DID adopt me after all. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Britt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Britt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Britt)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/288 "2000-12-27T22:06:48Z")
Anthracite > [@](#): > > She must be female, and I would prefer someone interested in the sciences, like myself. But this is not necessary. Now if only you had left out that gender, (which should have been a redundant) on the pro noun. I could have interpreted the entire first sentence as not up for discussion. Oh well as it is I can mealy appeal to the sense of equality an fairness you regularly show in your posts to forgive my: [List=A] [li]Maleness (I was born that way)[/li][li]Acceptance of it (It was my upbringing I tell you)[/li][/List=A] Well at least I like females (OK so this probably doesn’t help). I do have an interest in science and appreciate most of your posts so maybe you would consider me on those grounds? ---
**Author:** ![StephenG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@StephenG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StephenG)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/289 "2000-12-28T08:21:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Welfy \* [at 1:00 AM, EST, on 12-11-00 ~SG] > \*\*I choose StephenG and Dynosaur. Maybe if I make a list of tasks and the first person to turn in the tasks wins! And the other can just be my butt buddy. \*\* Okay, so we were “chosen” here. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Welfy \* [at 1:07 PM, EST, on 12-26-00 ~SG] > \*\* I’m sorry, I’m just terrible at this, aren’t I? _hangs head in shame_ Well, I think I will just adopt you both, since I like you two so much! _hugs_ \*\* And here we were “adopted”. I’ll assume that’s a promotion, since we never did get the list of tasks… I’m sorry, **Dyno** , neither of us get to be Welfy’s butt buddy. Oh well, looks like we skip the tasks, too. :shrug: Allow me one more quote? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Welfy \* > \*\*You could even mosey down to my webpage and be frightened by my “trying-to-be-seductive-but-looking-like-I-want-to-murder-someone” picture. > And you have to join my Welfy fan club, which consists of people I sent an audio file of me singing. > \*\* **Welfy** , it’s a lovely picture. I’m just jealous of “[Red-Haired Mike](http://www.photoloft.com/view/exportImage.asp?s=xpag&i=2984686&w=232&h=256)”! When _do_ we get that audio file? My email address is in my profile… :hint, hint: Okay, **DynoSaur** , Paul, help me out here? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![StephenG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@StephenG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StephenG)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/290 "2000-12-28T08:23:15Z")
So sorry, I don’t know how I missed this… ☹ We two like you, too, Welfy! _hugs_ and _thanks_ and more _hugs_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![to\_be\_announced](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@to\_be\_announced](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/to_be_announced)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/291 "2000-12-28T11:01:14Z")
With 8 strong posts within the last 2 weeks I am gearing up for a status that might as well be called… “legendary” Who shall fullful his/her destiny to be there at the birth of the king of the lord or all messege boards WHO…! ::stands upon a granite rock bare and searches for his sponsor:: ::he yells:: Reeeeecollaaaaaa ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/292 "2000-12-28T14:24:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Britt \* > \*\*Anthracite > > > [@](#): > > > > She must be female, and I would prefer someone interested in the sciences, like myself. But this is not necessary. > > Now if only you had left out that gender, (which should have been a redundant) on the pro noun. I could have interpreted the entire first sentence as not up for discussion.\*\* OK, fair enough. But if you’ve read my posts, you also have probably seen me use the expression “Spelling and grammar flames - the last refuge of the scoundrel.” > [@](#): > > \*\*Oh well as it is I can mealy(sic)\<–(see, you make mistakes too! 🙂 ) appeal to the sense of equality an fairness you regularly show in your posts to forgive my: > [List=A] > [li]Maleness (I was born that way)[/li][li]Acceptance of it (It was my upbringing I tell you)[/li][/List=A] > Well at least I like females (OK so this probably doesn’t help). > I do have an interest in science and appreciate most of your posts so maybe you would consider me on those grounds? > \*\* Grumble grumble…I don’t know…I’ll consider it, pending further applications… Quite honestly, the reason I wanted a girl was because I just communicate better with other female minds, and am often uncomfortable with males until I know them quite well. Thus, a relatively new male poster (and by definition one I do not know very well) would be more difficult for me to communicate with. PLUS, a great many new posters who are male end up emailing me telling me stuff about how “Are you _sure_ you don’t like men?” and so forth - which will do nothing but enrage me and lead to trips to the Pit if repeated…thus, my explanation for my OP in this thread. [sub]BTW, none of this shit is _that_ serious, after all.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/293 "2000-12-28T14:55:26Z")
Well, um… :: deep cleansing breath :: Hi all! I’ve been reading the SDMB for about 8 months now, and I have to say, some of you people intimidate the hell out of me, but I’m a glutton for punishment, sooo… My name is Theresa, I’m 38 and the mother of a 7 year old boy-Joshua, and a 14 year old girl-Shannara. Ive been married and divorced twice (you’d think I’d learn, but nooo…). I’m currently living with my Significantly Younger Lover (Hereafter known as Richard, though occassionally referred to as my fiancee when I don’t feel like explaining). Despite all that, I’m quite happily bisexual. I’m currently working on my Master’s Degree in, irony of ironies, Marriage and Family Therapy and my certification for Sexual Therapy from AASECT. My other interest include reading, RPGs, taunting my cat, ancient history-particularly Egypt and the Etruscans, painting, music, horseback riding, and studiously avoiding housework. Okay, I’ll just go over here, taunting the cat. ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/294 "2000-12-28T17:04:21Z")
Wow, a 38 year old woman who likes RPG’s? Join my Calvinball game! ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/295 "2000-12-28T17:21:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden\_Ranger \* > **My name is Theresa… (much interesting info deleted)** Sooo…are you making an application then? However, if you have been reading for that long, I’m not sure you qualify as a “newbie”, regardless of post count. Una ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/296 "2000-12-28T18:07:04Z")
Anthracite, I would be honored and humbled to be adopted by The Dark Queen herself! Should I grovel? Bite, or just nibble? 😉 Reading the posts is easy, actually wading into the fray is SCARY! ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/297 "2000-12-28T18:16:35Z")
Totoro: Hon, I was playing D&D before it was even in a BOOK! Index cards. I think I still have them around here somewhere. I am currently enamoured of Amber Diceless Roleplaying which is based on Roger Zelazny’s Amber series, hence the screen name. But I’ll go check on Calvinball…for you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/298 "2000-12-28T19:31:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden\_Ranger \* > **Anthracite, I would be honored and humbled to be adopted by The Dark Queen herself! Should I grovel? Bite, or just nibble? 😉** No, no groveling. Just be yourself. > [@](#): > > \*\*Reading the posts is easy, actually wading into the fray is SCARY! \*\* True, less scary if you know someone has adopted you. 😉 BTW - if I was to say the words “The Keep on the Borderlands”, would that mean anything to you? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/299 "2000-12-28T20:01:22Z")
Ah-ha! The original Keep of the Boarderlands was packaged in with the D&D book as a module and, if I remember right, was considered tripe. TSR has given it new life as Return to the Keep on the Boarderlands and is supposed to be better, acually giving names to the NPCs for starters, but I haven’t seen it yet at the game shop. (I live in Oklahoma-a vast, cultural wasteland from which I will hopefully be escaping soon.) Does this mean I’m adopted? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Britt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Britt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Britt)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/300 "2000-12-28T21:19:20Z")
> [@](#): > > _Original posted by Anthracite_ > > OK, fair enough. But if you’ve read my posts, you also have probably seen me use the expression “Spelling and grammar flames - the last refuge of the scoundrel.” Britt the scoundrel, yep, that’s me :), and its impolite to point out faults in others without at least making one of your own available for retort. > [@](#): > > Quite honestly, the reason I wanted a girl was because I just communicate better with other female minds, and am often uncomfortable with males until I know them quite well. Thus, a relatively new male poster (and by definition one I do not know very well) would be more difficult for me to communicate with. PLUS, a great many new posters who are male end up emailing me telling me stuff about how “Are you sure you don’t like men?” and so forth - which will do nothing but enrage me and lead to trips to the Pit if repeated…thus, my explanation for my OP in this thread. I would have to agree with you there, as I also tend to communicate better with intelligent females, although at least in my case I can promise to make no attempts at ‘conversion’. ‘The only true measure of intelligence is the variety of options it can sustain’ – Unknown. Not to mention the small problems of: [List=1] [li]One rather large ocean[/li][li]One rather large continent[/li][li]My success (or lack there of) getting any attention from those females who[/li][List=A] [li]Do have a predilection to my gender[/li][li]Are actually in the same day as I am[/li][/List=A] [li]Oh did I mention that Pig Pen makes me look tidy[/li][/List=1] All in all not what I would consider a promising set of circumstances. Oh well it looks like you have found a better match. May your travels through the Labyrinth give insight and wisdom to us all. > [@](#): > > [sub] > BTW, none of this shit is that serious, after all. > [/sub] What would your mother think of you using language like this, I just don’t know about today’s generation? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369.md?page=16)