# The SDMB Newbie Rites of Initiation (or **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369 "2000-12-06T20:38:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/301 "2000-12-28T21:46:10Z")
Hey! Kat! Gimme my list of chores any day now… I’m ready and willing! ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/302 "2000-12-28T23:59:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden\_Ranger \* > \*\*Ah-ha! > > The original Keep of the Boarderlands was packaged in with the D&D book as a module and, if I remember right, was considered tripe. TSR has given it new life as Return to the Keep on the Boarderlands and is supposed to be better, acually giving names to the NPCs for starters, but I haven’t seen it yet at the game shop. (I live in Oklahoma-a vast, cultural wasteland from which I will hopefully be escaping soon.) > > Does this mean I’m adopted? 😉 \*\* **Yes**. I will officially adopt you, as being under the protection of **Anthracite** , the Great and Terrible, GQ Gal, MPSIMS Maiden, Pit Princess, and Dark Queen of the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night. Let all who harass or flame you, either without cause or gratuitously with cause, beware!!! We will arrange your piercings and tattoos later. And **Britt**? I will adopt you too, on a Probationary Basis. The upcoming months will see if I upgrade your status. IF at all… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/303 "2000-12-29T00:35:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Yes. I will officially adopt you, as being under the protection of Anthracite, the Great and Terrible, GQ Gal, MPSIMS Maiden, Pit Princess, and Dark Queen of the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night. Let all who harass or flame you, either without cause or gratuitously with cause, beware!!! YES!! Thank you Great One! I will endeavor to live up to the honor! Can I gloat? 🙂 > [@](#): > > We will arrange your piercings and tattoos later. woooo… piercings AND tattoos… ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/304 "2000-12-29T00:35:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Totoro \* > \*\*Hey! Kat! > > Gimme my list of chores any day now… I’m ready and willing! \*\* Shhhh… I still havn’t finished my tasks yet! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/305 "2000-12-29T01:21:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden\_Ranger \* > **YES!! Thank you Great One! I will endeavor to live up to the honor! Can I gloat? 🙂** Gloating is allowed. You may also reference your adopted status in your sig. Now go forth and be excellent. I will be watching out for your safety. (Una glares at a warning at the entire SDMB…) ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/306 "2000-12-29T01:22:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > …under the protection of **Anthracite** , the Great and Terrible, GQ Gal, MPSIMS Maiden, Pit Princess, and Dark Queen of the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night Anthracite? Can I use that in my Sig? 🙂 It’s just too great not to immortalize. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/307 "2000-12-29T01:23:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden\_Ranger \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > > …under the protection of **Anthracite** , the Great and Terrible, GQ Gal, MPSIMS Maiden, Pit Princess, and Dark Queen of the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night > > Anthracite? Can I use that in my Sig? 🙂 It’s just too great not to immortalize. \*\* Simulpost. We think alike. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/308 "2000-12-29T01:24:30Z")
Great One posted while I was typing. \ And to the rest ya, 😛 [/quote] …under the protection of Anthracite, the Great and Terrible, GQ Gal, MPSIMS Maiden, Pit Princess, and Dark Queen of the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night ---
**Author:** ![HannibalV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@HannibalV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HannibalV)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/309 "2000-12-29T06:59:14Z")
\I’m…I’m…I’m never going to be adopted! I’m going to end up working at the orphanage forever. WAH! ☹ Please, please someone pick me! I’m smart and I can do tricks and I have a rather freakish affinity for humiliating myself in public. Sniff…\ ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/310 "2000-12-29T11:50:15Z")
Awwwww… ::hands **HannibalV** some Kleenex:: I’m willing to adopt another newbie. 🙂 What do you say? ---
**Author:** ![AndYrAStar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AndYrAStar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndYrAStar)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/311 "2000-12-29T13:39:07Z")
I’ve been holding off posting here because I wasn’t sure if I’m still a newbie, since I registered like 8 months ago, but then I realized I have less than 150 posts and I doubt anyone but brocolli or kitti would recognize me. I am indeed a newbie. So… someone adopt me. Now. Dammit. I don’t care if this is the 7th page and I’m almost a month late. ---
**Author:** ![AndYrAStar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AndYrAStar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndYrAStar)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/312 "2000-12-29T13:47:30Z")
:eek: brocolli? Oh dear. I meant broccoli, obviously. Um… has oldscratch adopted anybody yet? Or is he too busy defending Nym and unable to or something? ---
**Author:** ![HannibalV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@HannibalV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HannibalV)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/313 "2000-12-29T19:22:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*Awwwww… > > ::hands **HannibalV** some Kleenex:: > > I’m willing to adopt another newbie. 🙂 What do you say? \*\* Reeeeally? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you Mistress Audrey! \ What do I do? What do I do? ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/314 "2000-12-30T05:59:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Totoro \* > \*\*Hey! Kat! > > Gimme my list of chores any day now… I’m ready and willing! \*\* Tell ya what **Totoro** , as your fellow adoptee, I’ll give you a task and take some pressure off of **Kat** Here is what you have to do… I have two tasks left to accomplish. [list=1] [li]Find out what they are (easy part)[/li] [li]Complete them (hard part)[/li] [/list=1] Of course , just so I’m not accused of passing the buck, I’ll do them too. Of course you don’t **have** to do this, but it would be good practice! ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/315 "2000-12-30T13:56:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HannibalV \* > \*\*Reeeeally? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you Mistress Audrey! \ What do I do? What do I do? \*\* “Mistress Audrey”, huh? I like the sound of that… 😃 A belated welcome to the board to you, by the way. It’s nice to have you here. Your task is to find my sig, from a previous post of mine. (I haven’t used my sig in months, so this should be a challenge [and a hint!].) Once you find it, name for me the two posters whose names appear in it. Also, post their current post counts. You can post all of your answers in this thread, or start a new one for it. I’ll leave that up to you. Any questions? Just ask. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![HannibalV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@HannibalV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HannibalV)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/316 "2000-12-30T19:29:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*\*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > Your task is to find my sig, from a previous post of mine. (I haven’t used my sig in months, so this should be a challenge [and a hint!].) Once you find it, name for me the two posters whose names appear in it. Also, post their current post counts. You can post all of your answers in this thread, or start a new one for it. I’ll leave that up to you. > > Any questions? Just ask. 🙂 \*\* From the thread “Happy Birthday Freak”, posted on 7/24/00: > [@](#): > > \*\*Bon anniversaire, Freak! Many more to you. > > * * * > > ## I’d bring her gold, and frankincense and \*Myrr(21)\*h.- BNL, Jane > > Birchmont Stadium, home of the _(silent\_)rob_bie.- BNL, One Week\*\* **Myrr21** : 1565 posts. **silent\_rob** : 694 posts. Thanks, Mistress Audrey! ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/317 "2000-12-30T19:56:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HannibalV \* > **Myrr21** : 1565 posts. > **silent\_rob** : 694 posts. > > Thanks, Mistress Audrey! Right on, HannibalV! Damn, you work fast. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/318 "2000-12-30T20:04:33Z")
Goodness, **Hann**! You work _fast!_ Handled like a regular poster. Great job. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2000, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/319 "2000-12-31T03:11:02Z")
Okay, Totoro, here are your tasks. Sorry it took so long. I kept a couple the same as Corvus’s but most are different. 1. Answer a question/assist a poster in ATMB. 2. Find a Column or Mailbag Answer/Staff Report that interests you and start a thread or participate in a current thread dicussing it. (The point of discussion you post about could be a problem, overlooked/incorrect information, clarification, etc. related to the Column or Answer/Report, but should be something you sincerely think should be addressed.) 3. Post a question in GQ that you’ve wondered about for a while. 4. Find the origin of my signature. 5. Name 4 places, excluding Chicago, that have had DopeFests. 6. List 3 of my favorite animals. 7. Carry your Calvinball Game out to completion. 8. Calculate my post-per-day average. 9. Name 5 posters that prefer Pepsi to Coke. 10. Link to the most recent thread discussing pizza toppings. ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2000, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/320 "2000-12-31T03:17:55Z")
Ahoy there… Do i still count as a Newbie or am i in some kind of middle ground inbetween “made” and “in the makes”? I gotta warn you, i’m piss poor at buffing shoes… Upham [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369.md?page=15)