# The SDMB Newbie Rites of Initiation (or **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369 "2000-12-06T20:38:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/101 "2000-12-08T14:36:02Z")
OK tisiphone here are your tasks. Some of these questions are easy, some are hard, but they can all be answered on this board 1. Where am I from? 2. Name the book I contributed to? 3. What part of Satan’s anatomy gets referred to on this board and why? (sorry Brian) 4. What celebrity does SqrlCub have a crush on? 5. (an easy one) Who has the most posts on the board? 6. (A harder one) Explain the origins of his name? 7. What was Eve’s orgiinal name on the board? 8. Name three couples that have both partners posting on the board? 9. What current poster used to be known as Michael Masterton? 10. Name three dopers who come from your home state? Keith ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/102 "2000-12-08T14:36:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \* > \*\*You’re just saying that, aren’t you? 🙂 Okay, you’re in. Congratulations, you now have your very own Silver Fire. Now I just have to think of a good initiation. I hope I don’t keep you waiting too long. \*\* Yippeeee! I was sooo nervous coming to work this morning, turning on my machine, frantically opening my “Favorites” and tuning in to SDMB, anxiously waiting for this page of posts to load, scanning for it…and ta-da!! I have my very own SilverFire!! Any way you want, any way you need it…I’m at your service! :beaming: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/103 "2000-12-08T15:12:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Welfy \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Melpomene \* > > **I think Welfy is just more like me, period. So there wouldn’t be much for me to gain from a mentorship, although we could probably get along really well.** > > Will you be my friend? > > \*\* Although I have been adopted by a Regular, I would be more than happy to be your friend Welfy! I have to rack up my allies on this board before I start posting my mean side and people start hating me. 😉 Should I add this to my sig as well? “Friend of Welfy”? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/104 "2000-12-08T15:27:20Z")
**struuter** , Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the kind words of encouragement! I’m not sacrificing board time, it’s just that I’ve been a busy boy IRL the last couple of days. I’ve always posted sporadically, but the last couple of days have been hectic, so all I’ve really been doing has been checking on our progress here. I will do better. 🙂 > [@](#): > > (Note to self: make Ogre beg for mercy…mmmmmm > _ahem_ And stop fantasizing mid-post.) mmmmmm…struuter fantasizing… 😃 > [@](#): > > You’re going to be a better regular than I am–which shouldn’t be too difficult. Pshaw! It is to laugh! You were one of the first posters I ever noticed when I signed on to this board! > [@](#): > > You really deserve a treat for the hard work…any ideas? Oh my yes, but I don’t think the other Dopers are going to appreciate my steaming up the board! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/105 "2000-12-08T15:34:41Z")
Ogre… You must know by now that effective gratuitous flirting is one of the cornerstones of MPSIMS–not everybody does it, but you can bet they’d know how if they wanted to. 😉 And a big, strong man like you…I imagine you could make a lot of steam if you wanted to. Maybe I’ll have to incorporate this into your labors…hhhmmm? ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/106 "2000-12-08T15:36:26Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Persephone \* \*\* > [@](#): > > 1. What is the name I use IRL? (hint: it used to be my screenname–it is also mentioned in a currently active thread) > > 2. How many children do I have? (hint: this question is trickier than you may think–I’ll give you some time on this one) > > 3. What does my husband do for a living? (hint: this is mentioned in _several_ of my posts) > > 4. What is my religion? (hint: Nah. No hints on this one. Gotta make you work a _little._) > > 5. What hobby have I recently undertaken? (hint: It’s mentioned in two threads, neither of them active right now) > > Okay, that’s it for now. Gotta go dust off my “1001 Newbie Recipies (with sides!)” cookbook. 😃 > > \*\* …but Tygr stares them in the face and is unbowed. (Okay, maybe I went a [sub]little[/sub] pale when I read them…) But then I remembered the Mistress and my courage and strength were reborn. Verily, I speak the truth, proclaiming my heart’s certainty that Her Infinite Wisdom would not charge her humble servant with endeavors beyond his mortal ability! :::Dons his helm, hefts his lance and shield. Leaps to his horse and with a mighty cry charges toward the setting sun.::: * * * :::Moments later charges back the other direction after remembering that the sun sets in the WEST.::: ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/107 "2000-12-08T15:57:44Z")
Okay, NOW y’see what makes me a newbie… I had no idea that subject lines had character limits. It’s supposed to read something about how Hercules looked at Persephone’s tasks and decided he wasn’t strong enough to undertake them… See, it’s a referece to Greek mythology… Hercules was given these jobs that no other human could… Oh, c’mon… It was funny in my head… ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/108 "2000-12-08T16:45:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > **they always love me like a brother… 😉** Darling, if I loved you any other way, you’d only break my heart, and God knows I’ve had enough of that for one week. 😉 > [@](#): > > You are no longer a newbie 'Depity!! It would be like asking you to dress up like a schoolgirl or something… Oh, c’mon! I still _feel_ like a newbie. **Ogre** has more posts than I do and we registered around the same time, and _he_ still gets to be a newbie. I’m not ready to corrupt people on my own yet! ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/109 "2000-12-08T16:53:56Z")
Yes SIR! :snappy salute: Back as promptly as possible. :off to do the appropriate research: Tisiphone ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/110 "2000-12-08T17:00:46Z")
Depity, I registered the day BEFORE Coldfire (and Gaudere, for that matter). Look at his postcount, and then look at mine… 😉 I don’t see you as a newbie, if that counts as something… and who broke your heart? want me to fix their knees? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/111 "2000-12-08T17:32:55Z")
**fun2d8** here are your 12 labors, similar to **Odieman’s** , these can all be found on the boards: 1. (an easy one) What username did I originally register under? 2. I currently have a thread open to all newbies, what was the nature of my first thread to welcome newbies? 3. What is my “mood jacket” and how did it get that name? 4. I had two accidents (on separate occasions) while doing electrical work at my sister’s home, what were they? 5. Provide a link to the story I asked permission to use in a book I’m writing. 6. What extreme length did **aha** go to in order to be welcomed by Cecil Adams? 7. Whose balls do I have on display at my home? 8. (another easy one) What is Coldfire’s favorite rock group? 9. What male Doper slept with **Satan**? 10. Why do people write “Hi Opal” in the middle of lists? 11. What are the three words that end in -gry? (just kidding) 12. (another easy one)What is Evil Bitch and how did it get its name? Get all these for me, and you’ll be very nearly a ‘made Doper’ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/112 "2000-12-08T17:36:07Z")
oops hey **fun2d8** , since I was just kidding about #11, I gotta give you one more to make it a dozen. #11.5) Name 2 things I collect. And if you need hints or help with any of these, feel free to email me. ---
**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/113 "2000-12-08T17:52:40Z")
#11 was my favorite!!! Oh well, assignment received and I’m off to do my research. I can’t believe there’s no groveling or kissing up required! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/114 "2000-12-08T18:37:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fun2d8 \* > \*\*Oh well, assignment received and I’m off to do my research. I can’t believe there’s no groveling or kissing up required! 🙂 \*\* Sweetie, I said you’ll very nearly be a made Doper. I’m not through with you yet! ---
**Author:** ![HannibalV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@HannibalV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HannibalV)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/115 "2000-12-08T18:37:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > \*\*Hann- > > > [@](#): > > > > …22/0 approaches infinity… > > Well, my big brother warned me that someone would nitpick my math, here. 'Tis true. It doesn’t quite add up. But the formula worked except for that little bugaboo, so I decided to post it as is and see how long it would take for someone to point out the error. 16 hours–longer than expected. In any case, if you know how to fix it, do tell! \*\* Like I suggested above, use fractional or decimal parts of a month. This helps both by avoiding the infinity quagmire and by lowering the added value (M\*100). All of which, of course, is irrelevant. I’m almost sorry I posted this because I fear it’s making me look like an intellectual snot, and thereby making me seem less desireable as an adoptee. \ ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/116 "2000-12-08T19:39:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*Depity, I registered the day BEFORE Coldfire (and Gaudere, for that matter). Look at his postcount, and then look at mine… 😉 > > I don’t see you as a newbie, if that counts as something… and who broke your heart? want me to fix their knees? > \*\* So… are you saying you’re _not_ going to give me some task to do? I was hoping for something that would let me put off studying for a little bit longer. 🙂 I was exaggerating a little bit on the broken heart. It’s merely slightly bruised – and unintentionally, at that. No need to fix anyone’s knees. Not yet, at least. 😉 I’ll fill you in on the (not so) gory details later. ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/117 "2000-12-08T20:09:03Z")
Progress report, oh my mentor . . . 1. As I suspected from your rare discernment and taste in picking me, you seem to be a fellow Canuck, from Weyburn, Sask. I will spare you the inevitable smartass remarks about flatlanders . . . still working on 2,3,4,5,6 . . .pick the easy ones first . . . 1. Flora McFlimsy, as per [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24863) thread. 2. Real or virtual? 3. Easy. Silo. 4. Even easier. None. :broad patois: Me, I’m from Yukon. :end patois: (especially before I get into trouble). Now there are some Alaskan Dopers, but I haven’t dragged any of my friends in here yet, so I state with some confidence that I am the only one currently posting from the Yukon Territory on a soon-to-be-regular basis. Anyone out there to make a liar out of me? : off to do some more sifting of old threads. Hey, summa this is pretty funny stuff . . . this may take me a while . . . OOOOOOOH evil nazi groundhogs . . .: Tisiphone ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/118 "2000-12-08T20:15:58Z")
RE: number 8 make it 3 real couples. Yes there is someone else from the Yukon, I’ve seen them post, I just don’t know where. If it’s funny reading you are after just look for any thread started by WallyM7. Keith ---
**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/119 "2000-12-08T20:29:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\* I’m not through with you yet! \*\* I’m quivering with anticipation! I’m also nearly done—got the easy one’s out of the way and still digging for the rest. This work/research combo is getting interesting! ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369/120 "2000-12-08T20:40:41Z")
Can I choose more than one? I’m very indecisive, another bad personality quirk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-newbie-rites-of-initiation-or/44369.md?page=7)