# The SDMB relationship rules

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-relationship-rules/591335>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 3, 2011, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-relationship-rules/591335 "2011-08-03T16:55:30Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\
**Post date:** [August 6, 2011, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-relationship-rules/591335/81 "2011-08-06T01:26:17Z")

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> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> When everyone you know thinks your mate is not a very good match for you, at least consider that they might be right.

This is a good one in many circumstances, but not all. If I had paid more attention to “he seems not quite right” comments on one guy I dated, I wouldn’t have dated him for too long.

> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> I don’t agree with this, but I’m not sure if I’m just a middle-aged weirdo or if it is an unreasonable expectation that phones get turned off during dates. My husband and I make it through almost\* all of our dates without either one of us making or taking calls.
> 
> \*As a safety officer, he is on-call for his job sites at odd hours, but he still only gets calls very rarely.

The thing is, you’re not going on a first date with your husband. He’s talking about going on first, second and third dates with women who don’t know him personally and are concerned about their safety in a way that married folks are never going to have with each other. If you make it past three dates with no sketchy behavior, the likelihood of you getting raped by your date goes way down-- who’s going to wait a month or more to victimize someone they’re seeing in a “we might have sex someday” scenario?

As for relationships, if you can’t be the person’s friend in addition to their lover, it may not last. You’ve got to be able to continue to have interest when you’re not having sex.

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