# The SDMB Serial Killer **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [February 23, 2008, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844 "2008-02-23T13:38:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/21 "2008-02-23T16:05:06Z")
Hmm, could it be that you only kill those whose names start and/or end with a vowel? What a horrible, horrible killer… ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/22 "2008-02-23T16:20:06Z")
**AtomickTom** & **Sefton** both bite the dust. The former for an incorrect guess and the latter for both an incorrect guess and breaking the rule. **chowder** , having safely posted without breaking the rule is hereby deputised as ‘Assistant Serial Killer’, given a set of steak knives and told to go nuts. However, he is remined that there can only be one killer in _this_ thread, and that’s me, bub. ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/23 "2008-02-23T16:22:49Z")
Also, the serial killer has to go out for a while to buy a knife sharpening whetstone, 30ft of rope, get a few more skull tattoo’s, have an old friend for dinner, and, mass murder being thirsty work, go out for a beer with a few mates. He will be back a bit later. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/24 "2008-02-23T17:32:07Z")
OK you heard the man, I’m now officially Assistant Serial Killer. You guys had better stay in my good books or it’s a recommendation to my master that he slashes, cuts, gouges, eviscerates and generally plays havoc with your soft dangly bits using his _very_ sharp knives. Oh the power, the power, I feel quite giddy with it ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/25 "2008-02-23T18:55:08Z")
Ok…I think I’ve got enough data points now. The derranged killer in our midst only kills those whose… …first and last letters in their name are not in alpabetical order. Boo-yah. Which would make me safe, btw. ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/26 "2008-02-23T21:06:29Z")
And me, too! ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/27 "2008-02-23T21:09:36Z")
Well, yeah, assuming **Hal** ’s got it right. I’d certainly recommmend staying safely out of the thread until we’re sure. Oops. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/28 "2008-02-23T21:20:18Z")
Ha! I laugh in the face of danger. And I have faith in ol’ **Hal** here. He’d never steer us wrong! Right? ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/29 "2008-02-23T23:09:17Z")
I will take my chance to stroll in and say, “Howdy” to the serial killer among us. **S** SG Schwart **z** ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/30 "2008-02-23T23:28:57Z")
My post follows the rule. ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/31 "2008-02-23T23:57:24Z")
I believe the killer works on the wicked modus operandi of only eliminating members who does not have the (aproximately - a margin of +/- 1) same amount of consonants and vowels in their usernames. Sage Rat, for instance, has three vowels and four consonants whileHockey Monkey has six of each. (I’m fucked either way =/) ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2008, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/32 "2008-02-24T00:05:37Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] Ok…I think I’ve got enough data points now. The derranged killer in our midst only kills those whose… …first and last letters in their name are not in alpabetical order. Boo-yah. Which would make me safe, btw. [/QUOTE] What about me? ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2008, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/33 "2008-02-24T00:49:16Z")
And me? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2008, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/34 "2008-02-24T02:20:47Z")
As long as I’m right, then yeah, you’re both safe – I don’t know how **Kaplin** would interpret it, but if I was right then his killing spree is over. If I’m wrong, of course, well then you may be good and well fucked. Speaking of, **DB** , I’m also looking over my wife’s shoulder at her computer at the moment…TTC! TTC! TTC! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2008, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/35 "2008-02-24T03:10:42Z")
I am immortal. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2008, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/36 "2008-02-24T03:14:56Z")
[QUOTE=Diomedes] And me, too! [/QUOTE] Yeah, well you stab gods. I think a simple serial killer wouldn’t freak you out. ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2008, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/37 "2008-02-24T07:18:22Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia] Yeah, well you stab gods. I think a simple serial killer wouldn’t freak you out. [/QUOTE] Not only that, but I made Athena forget about that namby-pamby Odysseus for a while, too. ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2008, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/38 "2008-02-24T10:38:46Z")
**Hal Briston** has it! The rule was simply this: If the last letter in a poster’s username came _earlier_ in the alphabet than the first letter of a poster’s username, that poster was a goner. It never came up but posters whose usernames began and ended with the same letter would have been safe. Citizens of Doperville, unlock your doors and unload your shotguns. The killer has been caught! May he never darken our digital doors again! Until next time… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2008, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/39 "2008-02-24T15:03:36Z")
What about a poster like **j666**? Would he have bit the big one if **Hal** had not supplied sanctuary? EDIT: Or me, for that matter. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2008, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844/40 "2008-02-24T15:03:49Z")
Ha! Justice is served, evildoer! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-serial-killer/438844.md?page=3)