# The SDMB Sitcom!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 8, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551 "2000-09-08T22:55:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/1 "2000-09-08T22:55:58Z")
Alright, I’ll be the quirky, clumsy, funny guy with the cool catchphrase. SHA-ZAM!! Now, we need a witty, cynical person, an airhead, a “straight-man,” someone with a disorder of some sort, a nifty hang-out place, and a token minority character. I’ve got the barber waiting outside to give us all trendy haircuts, and everyone who’s in will be issued packets of hip new catchphrases. Sign up here, and we’ll start making up some tacked-on back stories and hokey, overused plots! ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/2 "2000-09-08T23:00:46Z")
I’ll be the guy that all the girls want and that all the other guys are jealous of. And, for some reason, the local nerd always hangs around me. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/3 "2000-09-08T23:08:07Z")
I’ll be the local nerd. ::snicker:: ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/4 "2000-09-08T23:10:14Z")
Sign me up as the witty cynic who’s actually a hopeless romantic beneath his occasional gruff exterior. Fun-lovin’, very loyal but often a bit distant. Espcially with one particular girl… ---
**Author:** ![seriousart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@seriousart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seriousart)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/5 "2000-09-08T23:10:50Z")
I’ll be the wisecracking secondary character who makes fun of all the beautiful people. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/6 "2000-09-08T23:13:40Z")
I’ll be the woman who dates a lot but can’t seem to find “Mr. Right.” Kind of an airhead but it’s only an act to make the men I date feel smart. How about we all hang out in the SDMB Bar?? (kinda like Cheers) ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/7 "2000-09-08T23:17:07Z")
Well, Silver Fire, it’s not like I ever said there was anything _wrong_ with having the local nerd hang around me… ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/8 "2000-09-08T23:18:05Z")
Okay, Monster, you got it. BUT, realize that this requires you to have an episode where you try to teach Silver Fire how to get chicks. Also, you and Rachelle have to develop a history of torrid, yet unsuccesful love affairs. Silver Fire, you got the nerd part. Here’s your standard issue coke-bottle glasses, and you need to slick your hair up in front. dpr, it says here in the “Sitcoms for Dummies” guide that you can’t reveal your inner self till at LEAST Season 2. Till then, you’re gonna have to chase after that one girl, whom we need a volunteer for… Rachelle, good idea on the bar. Whose gonna get their name yelled out every time they walk in? Seriousart, here’s your apron. Go wait tables and make your wisecracks. Just…don’t touch me. These are super-trendy, designer clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/9 "2000-09-08T23:20:26Z")
How about Monster gets his name yelled out when he comes in. Seems fitting since he’s our ladies man! ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/10 "2000-09-08T23:21:32Z")
True Jester. But the pining must be gradually obvious to everyone else except the target of my affection who will remain blissfully unaware… _sigh_ Not to mention the fact that she’ll occasionally drop in lines about how important a “FRIEND” I am. Cue the sympathetic-groan track. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/11 "2000-09-08T23:22:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > **O you try to teach Silver Fire how to get chicks…** Silver Fire doesn’t **want** chicks. (Well, maybe, but I’d just like to point out that I’m female and will _not_ “slick [my] hair up in front”.) ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/12 "2000-09-08T23:23:59Z")
THAT’S what I forgot! A laugh track! Note to self: Find newbie willing to type only things like \ \ and \ in order to shamelessly pad their post count. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/13 "2000-09-08T23:27:17Z")
Sorry, Fire, but the book clearly says “Nerd has to learn how to get CHICKS.” Well…I guess we could bend the rules, just this once, for you. But if the ratings start to drop, we’re breaking out the androgenous clothes! And E-gads, girl, not THAT hair! ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/14 "2000-09-08T23:30:31Z")
Torrid love affair #1… I was 18, barely legal, and started dating a U.S. Congressman (who shall remain nameless). He wined me, dined me, and 69’d me paid for my first year of college and put me up in a great condo and a BMW. It would’ve lasted longer than it did but during the course of our relationhsip he started growing his hair out in the back and ended up with a hideous comb-over that I just couldn’t deal with! ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/15 "2000-09-08T23:31:13Z")
No, no. Don’t change the book for me. You’ll just have to find yourself a different nerd. Fine with me. ::walks off in a big huff:: ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/16 "2000-09-08T23:38:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*THAT’S what I forgot! A laugh track! Note to self: Find newbie willing to type only things like \ \ and \ in order to shamelessly pad their post count. \*\* OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I can do that! Check out my work on “Guilty Pleasures” in IMHO. Can I be the extra sitting in the background of the restaurant, just within camera range, so I can get my union card??? ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/17 "2000-09-08T23:50:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \* > \*\*No, no. Don’t change the book for me. You’ll just have to find yourself a different nerd. Fine with me. > > ::walks off in a big huff:: \*\* I’ll take the part of the Nerd it suits me IRL too ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/18 "2000-09-08T23:56:49Z")
I’ll be your neighbor who looks nice and respectable, but who is really planning on abducting your daughter in one of those sitcom-goes-mellowdrama episodes with an important, yet sad lesson. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/19 "2000-09-09T00:05:09Z")
I’ll be the quiet secondary character who is secretly in love with the female lead, even when the female lead rides off into the sunset with the male lead. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551/20 "2000-09-09T00:05:47Z")
Okay, so I’m not the nerd. I get to be Demo’s victim though. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-sitcom/32551.md?page=2)