# The SDMB Soap Opera **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854 "2000-07-07T14:38:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/181 "2000-07-11T12:47:31Z")
…as Matt toppled over groaning, he knocked into Catrandom’s knees, sending her topplint into the mud puddle. At the same time, Zazou the Wonder Kitten leapt onto her face and gave her a savage clawing. As she tried madly to get the little black and white furball off her head, Matt got up, shook off the pain, and… ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/182 "2000-07-11T13:23:51Z")
…and two little silver balls rolled out of his pantlegs. Matt said, " I hoped I would never have to explain this, but back in the war…" ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/183 "2000-07-11T13:55:34Z")
…He had met Doobieous who had seen Matt on the battle field one day during the war and had hoped to show Matt… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/184 "2000-07-11T21:06:05Z")
…a good time. So when they retired to their barracks, Matt found himself in Doobieous’ bunk, and… ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/185 "2000-07-11T21:21:25Z")
…no sooner had their torrid embrace commenced than they were interrupted by an embarrassed Bricker, who had been told that the room was empty, and he could therefore use it to set up his… ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/186 "2000-07-11T21:56:59Z")
…day care center, because he had a real soft spot for kids. Really. He was no sicko. But as much as he loved the kids, he also sknew he could use the day care center as a front for… ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/187 "2000-07-11T22:04:55Z")
…his experiments in… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/188 "2000-07-11T23:52:26Z")
…metagenic duplication (a process similiar to cloning but which attempted to induce super powers into the dopplegangers). Eventually he found another place to set up the day care laboratory and was partially succesful in his experiments. But he abandoned the project a broken man after all five of his ‘subjects’ escaped. Reports wer burnt so it remains unknown who was cloned to this day… …this day… _fade back to current time_ ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/189 "2000-07-11T23:59:54Z")
:::flashback::: Little Persephone, a tiny girl with curly mop of red hair, inqusitively asking “Mr. Bricker, what does this magnet do?” :::jump forward::: The amnesiac Persephone wakes up in a cold sweat, having that nightmare again. She shakes her head, turns to the man laying next to her, and says “Alright, just who the hell are you and what are you doing in my bed?” He replies… ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/190 "2000-07-12T00:04:49Z")
"What the?!? You aren’t my wife. Where am I, and what did you do with my… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/191 "2000-07-12T00:08:33Z")
…I’m your husband!" Persephone gasped in shock at the man she married in her crazy youth. They were married because he needed his green card, but then he disappeared in a horrible restaurant fire. “But you are dead.” “No, no I’m not,” Chef\_Troy responded. "I only faked my death because… ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/192 "2000-07-12T00:10:53Z")
everyone back in High School made fun of my Halitosis. But I’m over that now, and I have resolved to… ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/193 "2000-07-12T00:15:31Z")
…He was being desperately pursued by his Nemesis; the nemesis that had inspired him to fake his death in a surfing accident. Chef Troy never spoke his enemy’s name, but… Catrandom (Geeze, the things a girl gets up to when she goes away for a day :D) ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/194 "2000-07-12T00:17:49Z")
his nemesis was really ChrisP One Kenobe and had been for years. The reason they were at such odds is because… ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/195 "2000-07-12T00:36:24Z")
ChrisP had given him an Atomic Wedgie back in their Pro-wrestling days. Those were the days… ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/196 "2000-07-12T00:50:52Z")
…when **Chris P** was actually just turtle that had supped on some radioactive sludge dripping down the sewer vents. meanwhile, **soulsling** lurks behind **matts** barracks with his army of ants behind him looking for … ---
**Author:** ![eponymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e0b2c6/32.png) [@eponymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eponymous)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/197 "2000-07-12T01:17:46Z")
eponymous, who, disguised as Zen Master Bankei, was responsible for soulsling’s state of LSD induced enlightenment that caused him to… ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/198 "2000-07-12T02:36:24Z")
…run around the streets yelling, “I am enlightened, and you-oo-oo arrrren’t, neener neener neener!” But soulsling’s bizarre behavior came to an abrupt halt when… ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/199 "2000-07-12T02:41:19Z")
ChrisP comes out of nowhere gives Soulsling an atomic wedgie too. “That was REAL mature ChrisP” Then she pulls out the wedgie and… ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/200 "2000-07-12T02:56:19Z")
…realizes with horror that something had been wrong about Arkon’s body… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=11)