# The SDMB Soap Opera **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854 "2000-07-07T14:38:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![pLt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eb9ed0/32.png) [@pLt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pLt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/201 "2000-07-12T04:04:53Z")
He HAD A THIRD NIPPLE! ‘pLt and the porn gang would pay good money for footage of this’ he thought. If only I had a … ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/202 "2000-07-12T05:07:44Z")
…video camera. He cursed his absent-mindedness. And he knew just where it was, too. He’d left it in the cabin that one time he had gone up for the weekend with… ---
**Author:** ![pLt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eb9ed0/32.png) [@pLt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pLt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/203 "2000-07-12T05:25:52Z")
… dpr. And everyone thought he was the shy retiring type. If only they knew his secret, for dpr was actually … ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/204 "2000-07-12T06:53:16Z")
… JavaMaven’s studly, tanned pool-boy back at the B&B. As he spent his afternoons in a speedo, cleaning the pool, jumping on the trampoline, and rubbing JavaMaven’s feet, he spent his nights… ---
**Author:** ![pLt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eb9ed0/32.png) [@pLt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pLt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/205 "2000-07-12T06:55:13Z")
being trained at the slutboy academy of sex. With these skills he could … ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/206 "2000-07-12T07:06:13Z")
…_really_ make a living. He planned for after graduation, to open his own Escort Service and Pool Maintinence Business. He only needed $30K to start the business off right, and considering he was skimming off of JavaMaven’s accounts (he did blackmailing runs for her, too), it would only be a short time left before he would have the money, except… ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/207 "2000-07-12T07:08:12Z")
…for the repressed memories that kept him, all unconscious, from fulfilling his lifelong dream. That’s why he’d gone to see eponymous the Zen Master in the first place. But once he found out the terrible truth… ---
**Author:** ![eponymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e0b2c6/32.png) [@eponymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eponymous)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/208 "2000-07-12T14:06:33Z")
That he was, in fact, the offspring of an alien-human love affair, not knowing, however, that his mother… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/209 "2000-07-12T19:56:17Z")
…was from the far off distant Left Behind Galaxy. It’s a good thing he didn’t know, because he would have been deeply ashamed. His mother was had come to Doperville because… ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/210 "2000-07-12T19:58:47Z")
…of the All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast offer at Stucky’s Waffle House. She also knew… ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/211 "2000-07-12T19:59:15Z")
She was deeply infatuated with ChrisP One Kenobe and his mastery of the Force. She came here and settled down with ChrisP and had a new life as… ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/212 "2000-07-12T20:00:05Z")
…she couldn’t afford round trip tickets from her homeworld, but upon arriving in Doperville, was captured the heart by… ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/213 "2000-07-12T20:02:02Z")
me dammit! ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/214 "2000-07-12T20:10:25Z")
…and no one was going to steal her from ChrisP. Not even the dreaded… ---
**Author:** ![eponymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e0b2c6/32.png) [@eponymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eponymous)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/215 "2000-07-12T20:50:33Z")
eponymous, who secretly had had a torrid affair with soulsling’s waffle-eating alien mother before her tryst with ChrisP. But then things got even weirder when… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/216 "2000-07-12T23:54:58Z")
…a driod appeared with a hologram message… {timeout} Geez not post for a day and become a soap star… _sigh_ And now I’m confused. Who is my father?!? {/timeout} ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/217 "2000-07-13T00:08:47Z")
… from wevets, the alien disguised as a cardinal in the Vatican City. “The Pope is now on our side!” He exclaimed. "I’m returning with him incognito to Doperville to complete our plan of… ---
**Author:** ![pLt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eb9ed0/32.png) [@pLt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pLt)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/218 "2000-07-13T00:13:57Z")
step one … pretending to be catholic. I am a little hazy on step 2 Step 3 - WORLD DOMINATION … but … ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/219 "2000-07-13T02:12:51Z")
…a man can’t dominate the world without a dominatrix. The woman he needed to _really_ run the show was… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/220 "2000-07-13T04:23:59Z")
…of course Cristi. Or at a pinch Shayna. With his mole firmly entrenched in the evil that is organised religion, he laughed evillly (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and sank back into the shadows with his dominatrix… Meanwhile back in Doperville Central, the people are starting to recover from their convulsions… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=12)