# The SDMB Soap Opera **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854 "2000-07-07T14:38:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/221 "2000-07-13T04:30:35Z")
…and posters of Shayna are being posted up everywhere to help quell any negative thoughts, and bring out only positive ones. but… ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/222 "2000-07-13T05:07:32Z")
…mysterious symbols are appearing on the Shayna posters. By chance, a well-known hieroglyphics expert has been staying at the local bed and breakfast and is able to examine the symbols, which turn out to be… ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/223 "2000-07-13T07:17:15Z")
… messages to Shayna from one of Catrandom’s previous lives. It turns out that in ancient Egypt, when Shayna was Queen Nefretiti, Catrandom was her… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/224 "2000-07-13T15:08:48Z")
…male concubine. (Hey, it was a previous life.) They had… ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/225 "2000-07-13T15:55:30Z")
…amazing sex of course, what did you think they would have? and back then, soulsling was the revered and honored cat of Nefertiti that she pet all day long. ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/226 "2000-07-13T16:07:03Z")
Trion snapped his fingers and brought soulsling out of his past life regression. He had been using this technique to… ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/227 "2000-07-13T16:09:19Z")
…help soulsling figure out why he was constantly licking milk out of bowls and purring around youn ladies on the subway. in any event… ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/228 "2000-07-13T17:29:18Z")
…he had been hypnotized into trying to kill… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/229 "2000-07-13T17:34:32Z")
…he realized that the best place for people like him was the local cathouse. He hadn’t been there more than ten minutes when he came face-to-face with the 5’11" Sally Mears, a girl so busty she could, like a cook in _The Straight Dope Tells All,_ rest a plate of pancakes comfortably on her bosom. He had no time even to react to the sight of her, when she spoke. In a deep sultry voice, Sally purred that she was glad he had finally come because she… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/230 "2000-07-13T19:14:15Z")
… was being hounded by JavaMaven, who swore that she should be the only one in Doperville that could balance plates of pancakes on her bosom. Sally, in her sultry voice, said, "Oh, please, you must help me, if Java ever finds me, she’s going to … " ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/231 "2000-07-13T20:29:08Z")
…discover the truth about my bosoms. They’re not mine. Yes, they’re real, but they’re not _mine._ I took them from…" ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/232 "2000-07-13T20:41:47Z")
…Queen Nefertiti!" ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/233 "2000-07-13T21:00:16Z")
Immediately, Cecil Adams and Ed Zotti appeared, shielding their eyes lest Sally’s voluptuousness–she had just doffed her eight-pound bustier–distract them! They spoke up to defend Sally, pointing out that it is just possible that Sally was in fact _descended,_ in a direct line, _from_ Queen Nefertiti! Sally bororowed Cecil’s trusty cell phone and called Java to say, “Sorry Honey, I win this round.” Java fumed and hung up. Sally thanked Cecil and Ed profusely, whereupon the two men… ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/234 "2000-07-13T21:17:24Z")
…began their search for Shayna so that they… ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/235 "2000-07-13T21:22:05Z")
Could finally get their picture on the Sdpeoplepages. Which, strangely enough, was the same problem… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/236 "2000-07-13T21:25:08Z")
…faced by Yahoodi, Harry Winston, and Capt. Jonathan S. Tuttle, late of the 4077th M_A_S\*H, who never got their pictures published anywhere. Sally didn’t care about this; she said the last time she saw Harry Winston, he got her so angry she kicked him in… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/237 "2000-07-13T23:45:12Z")
…Muncie, Indiana. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2000, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/238 "2000-07-15T22:56:58Z")
Meanwhile, Trion, still dazed from being mugged, staggered down the street until he heard some truck engines, then he passed out. When he regained consciousness he was being assisted by a pretty young woman crouching next to a big Peterbilt 18-wheeler. He thought he recognized her. “Velma?” he moaned. “I didn’t know Scooby Doo was real!” "I’m not Velma, Mister, " she answered. “My name is Louise Brown. You passed out right here in front of my rig. I’ve called the paramedics.” Trion also saw a smiling, burly man standing next to Louise. He lay back on the pavement to await the paramedics. All at once he recalled… ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2000, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/239 "2000-07-15T23:58:03Z")
…that he was really the illigitimate son of… ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2000, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/240 "2000-07-16T06:59:12Z")
…Shayna, so he went to find Cecil and Ed, who, he had heard, had a lead on where she had disappeared to. So, Ed, Cecil, and Trion got in a small, old plane and flew off to… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=13)