# The SDMB Soap Opera **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854 "2000-07-07T14:38:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2000, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/261 "2000-07-23T20:28:18Z")
…that this was a plot to ruin him, started by… ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2000, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/262 "2000-07-24T04:43:07Z")
Mullinator, who was burning with jealousy at Trion’s successful and enduring tryst with… ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2000, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/263 "2000-07-24T07:50:23Z")
…Camilla Parker-Bowles, to whom he was once recorded saying… ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2000, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/264 "2000-07-24T10:30:45Z")
…“It looks a lot like a gherkin, doesn’t it?”. In the background could be heard the distinct sound of… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2000, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/265 "2000-07-24T11:13:44Z")
a tampon factory. Acting on a tip from a leprechaun smuggled out of the asylum in someone’s boot, however, Constable Matt was closing in on the illegal operation. Adjusting his Mountie hat, he… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2000, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/266 "2000-07-24T11:44:05Z")
…and strode boldly forward, epitomising the very spirit of heroism, decency and good dry-cleaning. He pausedto survey the Monthly Mark building facade and reached for the door handle. Unfortunately… ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2000, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/267 "2000-07-24T12:01:34Z")
…not only was there a huge wad of chewed gum on the handle, he tripped, landing squarely on… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/268 "2000-07-27T21:09:30Z")
…the holding tank Sally and Phoebe were held in, collapsing the walls. After he spent three ecstatic hours with the two women, 😉 they went on their way. He then heard an ear-splitting siren, and felt an oppressively cold sensation. He knew now that he had stumbled straight into the center of… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/269 "2000-07-29T21:22:32Z")
…the biggest darn baked potato you ever saw. He realized that he’d better get out somehow before he was chived to death. He called for help from tomndebb, dougie\_monty, Jayron, Bermuda999, and several other Dopers to help him. Unfortunately, they… ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/270 "2000-07-29T23:02:03Z")
…had found the map to Arkon’s secret vault, and had left to punder the fortune the dead man had left. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/271 "2000-07-29T23:10:22Z")
Several of the dopers, using hammers, a crowbar, and a hacksaw, pried open the door to the vault–Trion had sneaked in earlier with welding tools and welded the dial shut! They pried the door open and howled in glee at the sight of mounds of gold coins, diamonds, priceless paintings, gold and silver ingots, and Hershey bars. The only persons to hear the howling were Sally and Phoebe, who called a few of their women friends, to the male Dopers’ delight; and several female Dopers, who were horrified at the ecstatic encounter between the male Dopers and the five bimboes. One of the angry women decided then and there to bring a camcorder and… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/272 "2000-07-31T19:56:44Z")
…record this for REAL TV, or the FBI, or even the NFL. 😃 But it backfired. The Teeming Female Millions themselves got so horny at what they saw Sally and her four friends doing with the male Dopers, they couldn’t take it any more, dropped the camcorder and ran to get their share. As the videotape later showed, the sight of all these naked bodies piled one on top of another resembled… ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/273 "2000-08-01T03:15:22Z")
…tapioca pudding. How or why the scene managed to resemble tapioca pudding was a secret known only to… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/274 "2000-08-01T03:57:50Z")
_pans out_ …the giant disembodied alien who was watching, watching… Where his intentions good? Did he manipulate for evil? Or he was he a disinterested observer? /end tangent We now return you to your regular orgy… _cue naked writhing bodies_ ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/275 "2000-08-03T22:25:10Z")
…from the floor of the Republican National Convention in Philadelphia, in a session the broadcast media were forbidden to approach. Several delegates hacked into Trion’s website and patched the computer into the overhead monitors, and watched with rapt interest as the Dopers’ orgy continued on into the night. The floor was a sight to see as the youngest and horniest Republican delegates… ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/276 "2000-08-04T01:54:46Z")
jumped onto the platform where bush was speaking and tried to strip him down to his sexy red and white polkadot boxers… ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/277 "2000-08-04T01:58:24Z")
Embarassed, Bush held firmly onto the elastic of his shorts and stammered,"… ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/278 "2000-08-04T02:10:12Z")
mm…mmmooo…mmmmooooommmmm!!!" bush stumbles off the stage and into the crowd where a wild orgy ensuses, and everyone gets a piece of those boxers…meanwhile back at the bat cave… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/279 "2000-08-04T02:20:35Z")
…Batman’s thoughtful pondering into a) who did it? and b) exactly where is this storyline going? were interrupted by the arrival of Enilorac - resplendant in her Supergirl costume. “No time for that now Bruce” she giggled “Aliens are about to invade the planet” She quickly told him all she knew (how much time passed is open to debate). He leapt to his feet and cried manfully “It all makes sense now. These machinations are a plot to divert our attention. Obviously the one behind this is devious and cunning. It’s obviously…” ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/280 "2000-08-04T03:10:49Z")
NOT Audrey. It’s probably the work of my nemesis, dpr!" With that, Batman grabbed Supergirl by the hand and hopped into… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=15)