# The SDMB Soap Opera **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854 "2000-07-07T14:38:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/321 "2000-08-29T23:39:23Z")
…the kidnaper barrelled out of the house, screaming “Aaaaaaaauuuugghhhhh!!!” The Sacramento Police took it from there and rescued the hostages. 🙂 Meanwhile, an impatient Fierra stormed into the Italian restaurant and glowered at dougie\_monty, and said, “I gave you plenty of time to have that bubble-gum report finished–” “And here it is!” he answered, handing the completed report to Fierra as he and Silver Fire faced her, with facial expressions suggesting the cat who’s swallowed the cream. She leafed through it ans stammered, “Well, it’s-it’s all here…this is excellent! I’m sorry I blew up…” She reached into her handbag and handed dougie a sheaf of bills and sputtered, “Well, you’ve kept your part of the bargain…” She and dougie\_monty and Silver Fire said good-by very cordially, and Fierra was quite composed as she left the restaurant. Now she had a bigger obstacle, dealing with the manufacturer she wanted to produce her bubble gum. The report was all well and good, but Fierra knew now she’d have to take it up with… ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/322 "2000-08-29T23:45:11Z")
…Jester, who had years ago cornered the bubble gum market and… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/323 "2000-08-31T18:39:27Z")
…damn near went insane because he lived in a round building that _had_ no corners. He also got flak from the Spice Girls, the Archies, and Josie and the Pussycats, who had been renowned for years for their “bubble-gum music” and regarded the effort to corner the market as infringement of their trademark. Archie decided Reggie was the best person to have settle the matter. Sure enough, Reggie… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2000, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/324 "2000-09-03T23:01:11Z")
…made such a maddening nuisance of himself that Jester fled in terror, vowing that as long as he lived he would never even _think_ of bubble gum! Fierra gave him $20 and a handshake. Reggie protested. “You gave dougie\_monty $500 and a passionate embrace!” Fierra answered sweetly, just as she got into a waiting taxicab, _He_ is not an obnoxious bastard." She sped away, leaving Reggie fuming. He wanted to sic Moose on dougie, but gave up the idea when he remembered, to his disillusionment, that where dougie\_monty was concerned, neither Midge nor Moose… ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2000, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/325 "2000-09-03T23:03:58Z")
…would cause any trouble, as they were still grateful to dougie for… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2000, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/326 "2000-09-03T23:20:16Z")
…finding Moose’s history notes. Ms. Grundy threatened to disqualify him for the big game with Central if he failed the upcoming history exam, which he would do without his notes. Midge, too, was concerned since Ms. Grundy had assigned her to prepare Moose’s notes and she could face detention if they were lost. Reggie was present when all this happened, but now he returned to his old habit of upsetting Archie and left this story altogether. Now dougie\_monty and Silver Fire, at last out of the restaurant, were touring Solvang and admiring various Danish buildings, when they heard the shriek of a power saw and saw Norm Abrams and Steve Thomas, who had… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/327 "2000-09-06T21:32:00Z")
…been asked to design and build a house themselves, rather than working on designs of others or rebuilding damaged houses or hardware. The thought of having a house built caused dougie to blush and gently squeeze Silver Fire’s hand. Norm and Steve now sensed that… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/328 "2000-09-12T04:34:20Z")
…they should call on other Dopers to speak up. The house Dougie and Silver Fire requested spanned five episodes, and the contruction was quite easy to complete. Now, other Dopers, taking their long-awaited turn, asked Norm and Steve to… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/329 "2000-10-28T18:52:12Z")
…refer them to architects and builders in their own locales. After the two craftsmen finished and left, the Dopers, now including Jayron, Bermuda999, Satan, Purplecrackwhore, and DRY walked together down the street. They saw dougie\_monty sitting alone at a bus stop, rather glum. They asked, “Where’s Silver Fire?” He answered, “She got a call to visit some relatives. She found out her uncle got shot at.” The Dopers gasped but said, “He’ll be all right.” (The uncle had been in ahunting accident; no other people were involved.) They bade him good-by just as the bus approached and he boarded. Now, the group of Dopers saw something about 50 feet fown the street and stopped short, frozen in horror. The frightening sight was… ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/330 "2000-10-28T23:42:14Z")
…Trion, shambling forward with a knife in his back! ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2000, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/331 "2000-10-29T04:56:52Z")
as the dopers rushed forward to help trion, he falls face first on the concrete with a loud thud. the horrified dopers try frantically to revive trion, suddenly they hear a fit of giggling behind them…they slowly turn and see… ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/332 "2000-10-29T05:03:05Z")
That a dead thread was resurrected pointlessly. THE END _:: fleeing ::_ * * * Yer pal, [Satan](http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg) \*TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING: Six months, two weeks, six days, 3 hours, 4 minutes and 2 seconds. 8125 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,015.64. Extra time with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 5 hours, 5 minutes. \*_THE YANKEES WIN! THAAAAAAH YANKEES WIN! 1996 · 1998 ··· WORLD CHAMPIONS ··· 1999 · 2000 26 Titles! The #1 Dynasty of all-time! And most importantly… RULERS OF NYC!!_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=16)