# The SDMB Soap Opera **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854 "2000-07-07T14:38:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/61 "2000-07-08T04:38:11Z")
…and rescue his sister from the clutches of… ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/62 "2000-07-08T04:39:18Z")
… resume his aspirations to become a professional ballet dancer. Realizing too late it was pretty dumb to shoot himself in the foot and accomplish such a goal, his life declines precipitously, reaching a low point when he … ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/63 "2000-07-08T04:40:31Z")
Too slow on the draw. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/64 "2000-07-08T04:46:05Z")
…rescues his sister from the clutches of the mafia… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/65 "2000-07-08T04:48:00Z")
…rescue his sister Persephone from the clutches of Mullinator and his cloned Mafiosi commandos, who are merely fulfilling a contract. Bluepony decides to have another beer, little knowing that a contract has been put out on him by… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/66 "2000-07-08T04:54:24Z")
…pepperlandgirl who knew that he could expose all her secrets, especially the big one about her… ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/67 "2000-07-08T05:42:38Z")
…microwave popcorn addiction. He had watched for months as she made her daily run for Act II from \*_Kat_, her neighborhood dealer, who unbeknownst to most of the townspeople, was also… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/68 "2000-07-08T05:46:22Z")
…a Diet Coke dealer, but the diet Coke had an extra ingrediant known as… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/69 "2000-07-08T06:55:14Z")
The original high-caffine ingredient that pepperlandgirl’s husband was working on when he was poisioned by caseywyn three years ago. JavaMaven walked in when it was too late, and heard his last words: “…tell my little pepper that I loved her…” As Java held him in her arms as he died, caseywyn ran off, to leave her with a load of evidence. Java slipped the excess secret ingredient into the local Coke plant, to dispose of any possible evidence. With a dead body to hide, she… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/70 "2000-07-08T07:02:26Z")
…quickly went to the abandoned warehouse. She planned on hiding the body in it, and than blowing up the warehouse. But before she could lite the fuse she heard… ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/71 "2000-07-08T07:56:06Z")
…the haunting sound of Jello Biafra singing the old Carly Simon tune _Anticipation,_ which meant… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/72 "2000-07-08T08:28:05Z")
her twin brother (unbeknownst to her), MrCynical, has pulled up to the warehouse. When he enters, he’s surprised to see JavaMaven there, as he had something of his own to hide… ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/73 "2000-07-08T15:18:17Z")
…mainly, nude photos of **Falcon** , **purplebear** , **ChiefScott** , a can of blue paint, and some Saran Wrap. “What are you _doing_ here?” **MrCynical** asks. “Glad you asked,” replied JavaMaven. "I’m here because… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/74 "2000-07-08T15:27:38Z")
“…of this note.” He whips out a letter telling him where to go. Looking at the note \*\* Mr C \*\* looks down for a signature. There’s not one there but he recognises the handwriting as belonging to… ---
**Author:** ![pLt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eb9ed0/32.png) [@pLt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pLt)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/75 "2000-07-08T15:30:25Z")
his grandfather. This was odd seeing as his grandfather died 12 years previous. The grandfather still communicated with the porn ring he controlled despite death via message boards under the acronym pLt. He had never left a note before … ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/76 "2000-07-08T15:43:41Z")
…he discovered that Kat was attempting to take over his porn empire, and even in death, he was having none of that. The note contained instructions on how to dispose of Kat, by… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/77 "2000-07-08T17:04:03Z")
…by dipping her in chocolate and having the men of the SDMB lick her to death. “But, that can’t be right,” said MrCynical, "that wouldn’t _kill_ her. We should… ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/78 "2000-07-08T17:15:03Z")
…tie her to a chair and force her to look at pictures of Cyberian and JAXashby for hours at a time. That would surely kill her… ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/79 "2000-07-08T17:16:50Z")
test the various and sundry ways of felching on her. Immediately **Esprix** dashed in and… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/80 "2000-07-08T18:29:09Z")
…and smashed MrC’s head in with a… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=5)