# The SDMB Soap Opera **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854 "2000-07-07T14:38:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/101 "2000-07-09T04:15:32Z")
…win the hand of the beautiful Persephone, who had up to this point, alluded all of his advances by… ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/102 "2000-07-09T04:40:46Z")
pretending to have amnesia brought on by… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/103 "2000-07-09T04:46:09Z")
…a strong blow to the head. She never knew who struck her with the lead pipe, in the library, but she suspected… ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/104 "2000-07-09T04:58:13Z")
Welfy, because she had rejected the sleazy lounge singer’s proposition. Not that kind; he proposed that they go into business together. He figured that with his singing talent and Persephone’s… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/105 "2000-07-09T05:00:16Z")
…dance moves, they could make a bundle. However, he hinted that he wanted to see her do more than just dance. He thought he could get away with it, because she used to dance in a… ---
**Author:** ![pLt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eb9ed0/32.png) [@pLt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pLt)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/106 "2000-07-09T08:05:30Z")
burlesque show run by Porn Ring boss pLt who as you MAY remember from earlier posts is Mr C’s grandfather. Speaking of the burlesque show … auditions were run and … ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/107 "2000-07-09T08:13:59Z")
…shockingly, during the middle of Welfy’s striptease, the lights suddenly went out, and in the confusiion, a gun shot rang out. When the lights came back on… ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/108 "2000-07-09T08:19:48Z")
…lying there in a pool of blood and vodka was… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/109 "2000-07-09T09:42:26Z")
…a headless body!!! Which confused everyone cos they thought it was a gunshot. Whose corpse was it? And who’d done the dastardly deed? And was it cheap? The suspense was suddenly broken when through the door came a somewhat scantily-clad… ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/110 "2000-07-09T13:51:27Z")
Kyla, holding a very bloody axe, and apologizing profusely because the headless body on the floor was not the person she was trying to kill. Her intended victim was actually… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/111 "2000-07-09T16:57:15Z")
…actually Welfy. They were estranged because Welfy had an eye for the ladies, and she intended to get him back. Welfy’s biggest fear was of axes, so she thought it would be a perfect way to kill him. Instead she accidently hacked off… ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/112 "2000-07-09T17:57:19Z")
…Welfy’s manhood. Not a big deal, really, because Welfy is actually a female. Having that bit of prosthetic chopped off was quite a relief to Welfy, because she was quite tired of the charade. Suddenly, the headless body begins moving… ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/113 "2000-07-09T18:18:39Z")
…back and forth, back and forth. As if she were… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/114 "2000-07-09T19:13:06Z")
…a fish that had just been pulled out of the water. Everybody around the body gasped and jumped back and somebody moaned in pain as the… ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/115 "2000-07-09T20:09:33Z")
…headless body began to grope desperately for it’s head. It crawled around the floor, as the bar patrons stared in horror. Finally, the headless body found a bodiless head. It placed the head gingerly on it’s shoulders, but it was backwards. Slowly, like something out of _The Exorcist,_ the head turned to face the crowd. There was a huge collective gasp as the people realized who’s head that was. It was the head of… ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/116 "2000-07-09T20:16:59Z")
…PHAEDRUS! Many Dopers fainted, leaving only one man to take care of the problem. That man was… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/117 "2000-07-09T20:20:00Z")
…ChiefScott, the manliest man of all the Dopers. With little fear he stepped towards the corpse and prepared to… ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/118 "2000-07-09T20:21:07Z")
…ChiefScott, because he couldn’t get out the door fast enough. Quickly, he stuck his hand into his pants pocket, where he normally kept his Popeil PocketNuke, but to his horror, it wasn’t there. Instead he found… ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/119 "2000-07-09T20:34:29Z")
…a key with a ribbon tied to it. He quickly put the key back, to explore its mystery later, and grabbed a chair. He bravely marched forward when a hand grabbed his shoulder… ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/120 "2000-07-09T21:22:08Z")
[brief hijack] I’m glad to see this has become just like a real soap opera. Miss a day, and you’re completely lost.[/brief hijack] …the hand belonged to the man who runs Brentwood asylum… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=7)