# The SDMB Soap Opera **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854 "2000-07-07T14:38:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/141 "2000-07-10T03:38:45Z")
… with the fluid, rythmic movements of her hips, she had seduced Arkon. Arkon’s mentor was whipped into a frenzy of jealousy because not only did she steal Arkon’s heart, but she… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/142 "2000-07-10T03:50:59Z")
…she also stole her dog. Which really pissed her off, because the dog was a… ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/143 "2000-07-10T03:53:56Z")
… also stole her Little Bo Peep costume, which she used so effectively the last time she carried out her plot to… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/144 "2000-07-10T04:24:21Z")
…steal her dog… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/145 "2000-07-10T04:31:43Z")
… that was given to Arkon’s Mentor by JavaMaven, as a birthday gift. But, this was no regular dog. This was a purebred Golden Retriever named Max that knew some special tricks… ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/146 "2000-07-10T04:33:37Z")
but what no one really knew was that cleverly disguised in the dog’s collar was a… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/147 "2000-07-10T04:45:39Z")
…a letter that contained the recipe for the super caffeine Pepperlandgirl’s husband died for. Javamaven freaked when she found this out and thought of a way to… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/148 "2000-07-10T04:47:14Z")
…radio transmitter designed to tap into the data signals of pg’s next door neighbour - the devishly handsome but reclusive DPR - who was writing novels sequestered away. PepperlandGirl was one of the few people to visit and although he seemed innocent and harmless, obviously there were those who suspected he worked on other things. ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/149 "2000-07-10T04:51:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pepperlandgirl \* > \*\*…a letter that contained the recipe for the super caffeine Pepperlandgirl’s husband died for. Javamaven freaked when she found this out and thought of a way to… \*\* …offer the recipe to Arkon at the price of $16 million dollars, so she could finally get out of the B & B/blackmailing business, and finally do what she always wanted to do… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/150 "2000-07-10T05:13:08Z")
…which was fly to a tropical island and hire a cabana boy. But before she could do any of this she had to… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/151 "2000-07-10T05:24:57Z")
…finish her job of making sure everyone in town was blackmailed properly, adding a nice tidy sum to what she would recieve from Arkon. “With whom should I start with first,” she wondered… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/152 "2000-07-10T06:33:11Z")
_close-up of pepperlandgirl thinking_ _cue 'thoughtful music_ _pepperlandgirl gives us four different constipated looks showing us she’s considering the possibilities_ _FADE OUT_ -insert commercial for domestic product here- _fade in with dramatic music_ _ChiefScott is in front of the zombie Phaedrus. We see this three of four different times from different angles with different expressions on their faces. The Dopers remain unconscious scattered around the place_ \*Suddenly a woman in a purple bikini flashes through the room. The zombie is distracted and lumbers off after her, forgetting about ChiefScott for the time being. The Chief hesitates but upon seeing the dopers start to stir exits the building through the other door. There he jumps into a car driven by… ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/153 "2000-07-10T06:39:15Z")
…Kyla, who is after all, running away after being caught axe-murdering the wrong burlesque dancer. What most people don’t know was that she had been kidnapped and brainwashed by a cult, whose goal was to… ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/154 "2000-07-10T07:05:09Z")
take over the entire town of Doperville and use the inhabitants as slave labor in the manufacturing of… ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/155 "2000-07-10T07:25:44Z")
…low-quality lookalike plates, which would be substituted for merchandise ordered from the Franklin Mint, and also… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/156 "2000-07-10T07:54:20Z")
…artsy mousepads, the kind with copies of famous artworks printed on top. The Van Gogh line was selling like hotcakes, and anyone in their right mind would want to get into that kind of money maker. Little known, about these mousepads is the amount of slave labor it actually takes to make these things… ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/157 "2000-07-10T17:11:23Z")
…had caused the death of Arkon’s adopted daughter, Lilian. This devistated Arkon, who vowed revenge by… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/158 "2000-07-10T18:28:57Z")
…destroying the factory and everybody who works in it. He realized a lot of innocent people would die, but he justified it by… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/159 "2000-07-10T23:35:58Z")
…2:30 the following afternoon, using reasoning only the Teeming Millions could muster. Still, after a mysterious telephone call (the guy said his name was “Regis” or something), he relented after dougie\_monty, kellibelli, Satan, Purplecrackwhore, and 20 other unidentified SDMB posters “persuaded” him to back off. Instead, he… ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854/160 "2000-07-11T00:37:04Z")
…decided to lace the town’s water supply with leftover brown acid from Woodstock. He hoped to get everyone rolling in a mud patch in the center of town, while he… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-soap-opera/24854.md?page=9)