# The SDMB Text Adventure Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2006, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341 "2006-05-11T06:07:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/41 "2006-05-12T02:43:56Z")
Oh, and you took a piece of moldy cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Tio\_Gringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@Tio\_Gringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tio_Gringo)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/42 "2006-05-12T16:20:56Z")
Dial 867-5309. Ask for Jenny. ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/43 "2006-05-12T17:00:03Z")
> [@EvilAsh](#): > > Dial 867-5309. > Ask for Jenny. “Dang kids! Stop calling me!” You hear someone entering the bar. ---
**Author:** ![theunfounddoor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@theunfounddoor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theunfounddoor)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/44 "2006-05-12T17:20:58Z")
Go sneak a peek at whoever entered the bar w/out them seeing you ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/45 "2006-05-12T17:35:02Z")
> [@theunfounddoor](#): > > Go sneak a peek at whoever entered the bar w/out them seeing you You creep into the kitchen, and lean your head out the door. You see a man in a suit sitting at the bar. On top of the bar is his briefcase, with a large yellow envelope on top. You slip on a puddle of water, and fall on the ground, with a loud enough noise to draw the attention of the suited man. “Ralph McKenzie?” he asks. Just then another man, who looks to be of Columbian descent enters the bar, also dressed in a suit, and firmly gripping a crow bar. “Where is the fucking brick?” he says in a thick accent. ---
**Author:** ![theunfounddoor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@theunfounddoor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theunfounddoor)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/46 "2006-05-12T17:49:00Z")
Throw moldy cheese at crow bar guy then apologize tell him youve got to leave to get it ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/47 "2006-05-12T18:18:38Z")
> [@theunfounddoor](#): > > Throw moldy cheese at crow bar guy > then apologize > tell him youve got to leave to get it You throw the moldy cheese at the Columbian Crow Bar (CCB). He proceeds to beat you with the crowbar for a few minutes until you apologize. You have shattered tibias. As you’re explaining that you need to go somewhere to get it, he takes a sudden interest in your damp gym bag. “What’s in the bag?” The man in the suit appears shaken, and leaves in a hurry, leaving the yellow envelope behind. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/48 "2006-05-12T18:29:44Z")
You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… You are in a maze of twisty turny partisan political arguments, all alike… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/49 "2006-05-12T18:48:22Z")
Examine yellow envelope. Open evelope. Examine contents. Crawl to the phone and dial 911. ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/50 "2006-05-12T18:54:09Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > Examine yellow envelope. > Open evelope. > Examine contents. > Crawl to the phone and dial 911. You crawl to the bar, and hoist yourself up on a stool, and look at the envelope. It is blank on the outside. “What is in the bag, Ralphie?” asks CCG. You open the envelope. CCG picks the bag up, and opens it. The envelope contains a court summons. You are being sued by an employee “Alice Smith” for sexual harrasment. CCG retrieves a brick (of cocaine) from your bag, drops the bag and runs out of the bar. You crawl back to the office, dial 911, ask for an ambulance, then pass out. When you awake, you are in a hospital bed with two casts on your legs. There is a nurse here. She is asking about insurance. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/51 "2006-05-12T18:58:42Z")
Re-examine wallet for insurance card. ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/52 "2006-05-12T19:00:23Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > Re-examine wallet for insurance card. Your wallet contains: $5 A drivers license A credit card The nurse repeats the insurance question. ---
**Author:** ![Tio\_Gringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@Tio\_Gringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tio_Gringo)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/53 "2006-05-12T19:29:34Z")
Give nurse insurance info. If no insurance, sell kidney, 2 pints of blood, and left nut. Examine nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/54 "2006-05-12T19:32:48Z")
> [@EvilAsh](#): > > Give nurse insurance info. > If no insurance, sell kidney, 2 pints of blood, and left nut. > Examine nuts. “Mr. McKenzie, selling body parts is illegal in this state.” You attempt to examine your scrotum, but it is buried under numerous layers of hospital blankets. Plus, there is a lady present. ---
**Author:** ![theunfounddoor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@theunfounddoor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theunfounddoor)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/55 "2006-05-12T19:47:07Z")
tell the nurse yu have to get back to her about the insurance ask for more pain killers ---
**Author:** ![theunfounddoor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@theunfounddoor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theunfounddoor)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/56 "2006-05-12T19:48:09Z")
Happen to mention you don’t remember a damn thing about yourself ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/57 "2006-05-12T19:51:21Z")
> [@theunfounddoor](#): > > tell the nurse yu have to get back to her about the insurance > ask for more pain killers “We can’t give you more painkillers unless we know you can pay for them. Do you have some other form of payment?” > [@](#): > > Happen to mention you don’t remember a damn thing about yourself “I’ll mention that to your doctor. Do you have another form of payment?” ---
**Author:** ![Tio\_Gringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@Tio\_Gringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tio_Gringo)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/58 "2006-05-12T20:18:03Z")
Have nurse examine my nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/59 "2006-05-12T20:38:07Z")
> [@EvilAsh](#): > > Have nurse examine my nuts. Give your current unresolved legal troubles, you decide it would be unwise. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341/60 "2006-05-12T20:50:26Z")
Give Credit Card to Nurse. Say, “Hello Sailor”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sdmb-text-adventure-game/356341.md?page=4)