# The Second Worst SF Book Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 13, 2007, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877 "2007-01-13T23:20:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2007, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/21 "2007-01-14T21:43:47Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] \*Shortly after the Kenneth Branagh film [_Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Shelley%27s_Frankenstein) (so titled because it was purportedly closer to the book than all previous film adaptations) came out, I saw a paperback for sale in a bookstore titled _Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein._ This was not a new edition of Mary Shelley’s classic novel; it was a novelization of the Branagh film. I’m not making this up. [/QUOTE] This is so common it’s not worth blinking an eye at any more. There was some talk when Ron Goulart (under the name of Joseph Silva) did a novelization of Wells’ _The Island of Dr. Moreau_ back in 1977, but that’s a lifetime ago in movie terms. Face it, movies are so different from books that it’s almost a cheat to tell people to read the original. And novelizations are designed to be read in one-quarter the time of actual Victorian-era books. Everybody makes money and the authors are safely dead. Rotating, but dead. P.S. That was [Fred Lerner](http://jophan.org/mimosa/m18/lerner.htm), not Fred Turner, that I meant to refer to. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2007, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/22 "2007-01-14T23:09:59Z")
[QUOTE=Exapno Mapcase] This is so common it’s not worth blinking an eye at any more. There was some talk when Ron Goulart (under the name of Joseph Silva) did a novelization of Wells’ _The Island of Dr. Moreau_ back in 1977, but that’s a lifetime ago in movie terms. Face it, movies are so different from books that it’s almost a cheat to tell people to read the original. And novelizations are designed to be read in one-quarter the time of actual Victorian-era books. Everybody makes money and the authors are safely dead. Rotating, but dead. P.S. That was [Fred Lerner](http://jophan.org/mimosa/m18/lerner.htm), not Fred Turner, that I meant to refer to. [/QUOTE] Was Goulart’s novelization titled “H.G. Wells’ The Island of Doctor Moreau?” I think what Brainglutton was commenting on was the fact that the title of the novelization he mentioned included the name Mary Shelley, even though she was, of course, not the author of that book. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/23 "2007-01-15T05:18:02Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] > **[Examples of Thesaurus Abuse](http://www.peltorro.com/thesaurus.htm)** > > Examples of Thesaurus Abuse Many giggles. -FrL- [/QUOTE] Bwaha. That prose is so purple one would swear it had been graped by the Grapist. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/24 "2007-01-15T05:28:25Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Shortly after the Kenneth Branagh film [_Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Shelley%27s_Frankenstein) (so titled because it was purportedly closer to the book than all previous film adaptations) came out, I saw a paperback for sale in a bookstore titled _Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein._ This was not a new edition of Mary Shelley’s classic novel; it was a novelization of the Branagh film. I’m not making this up. [/QUOTE] Before that, there was a novelization of Francis Ford Coppola’s _Bram Stoker’s Dracula_. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/25 "2007-01-15T05:32:16Z")
[QUOTE=Exapno Mapcase] This is so common it’s not worth blinking an eye at any more. There was some talk when Ron Goulart (under the name of Joseph Silva) did a novelization of Wells’ _The Island of Dr. Moreau_ back in 1977, but that’s a lifetime ago in movie terms. Face it, movies are so different from books that it’s almost a cheat to tell people to read the original. And novelizations are designed to be read in one-quarter the time of actual Victorian-era books. Everybody makes money and the authors are safely dead. Rotating, but dead. [/QUOTE] Gardner Fox did a novelization of Nine Weeks in a Balloon in 1962, to show you how far back this crap goes. I’m having a hard time visualizing a Goulart version of Dr. Moreau, though. I keep on seeing Ben Jolson (if I remember the name of the Chameleon Corps operative correctly.) Goulart did do the continuation of the Avenger series, which I think he did a good job on. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/26 "2007-01-15T05:33:34Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] Um… worse than _Battlefield Earth_? Really? _shudders_ [/QUOTE] I’ve never read it, but I suspect so. I have read a lot of Hubbard from before Dianetics. He might have been a hack, but he was a competent hack. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/27 "2007-01-15T05:35:56Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] So when is Hollywood going to make a movie of _The Last Astronaut?_ Then Alan Dean Foster can novelize it . . .\* [/QUOTE] Actually a properly made movie of The Last Astronaut would be hilarious. The hero being oblivious to suffering around him is what the Abrahams’ movies and Police Squad were all about - they’d be perfect to write a screenplay for this book. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/28 "2007-01-15T05:47:50Z")
For the curious, the \*Frankenstein \* novelization was by Leonore Fleischer and the \*Dracula \* one was by Fred Saberhagen and James V. hart. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/29 "2007-01-15T16:09:55Z")
Many thanks for the link to Pel Torro’s site, what a hoot. I especially enjoyed the random quote generator. But you must realize that Galaxy 666’s title is in jeopardy, [for the Eye of Argon has been published!](http://www.amazon.com/Eye-Argon-Jim-Theis/dp/0809562618/sr=8-1/qid=1168877257/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-8128278-3854201?ie=UTF8&s=books) ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/30 "2007-01-15T19:37:38Z")
It’s a short story, not a novel, even if it was published in book form. Besides it reads so much better on the original typewritten pages. It just looks like something that ought to be written single-spaced, margin-to-margin, not all fancied up with print. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/31 "2007-01-15T19:47:34Z")
From that random quote generator: > [@](#): > > When Joe Maginty woke up he had the grandfather and grandmother, the primaeval ancestor and ancestress of every hangover from which every man has ever suffered in the course of human history, or is ever destined to suffer from as long as time and humanity shall walk together through the universe. > > ``` > Dark Continuum > Writing as John E. Muller > > ``` Well, at least no one can accuse his writing of lacking passion. ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/32 "2007-01-15T19:52:24Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] Many thanks for the link to Pel Torro’s site, what a hoot. I especially enjoyed the random quote generator. But you must realize that Galaxy 666’s title is in jeopardy, [for the Eye of Argon has been published!](http://www.amazon.com/Eye-Argon-Jim-Theis/dp/0809562618/sr=8-1/qid=1168877257/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-8128278-3854201?ie=UTF8&s=books) [/QUOTE] Hee. I almost never use my signature, but… ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/33 "2007-01-15T19:54:30Z")
Seriously, this is awesome. > [@](#): > > Eric Fenn glanced at the screen and thought of the Earth as a little, coloured, round pill, a pill from which somebody had sucked half the sugar coating and found the harsh-tasting chemical inside was not pallitable and had therefore spat it out. It had been a good strong expectoration, thought Eric Fenn. > > ``` > The Last Astronaut > Writing as Pel Torro > > ``` I’m laughing myself sick over here! Thanks for starting this thread, **Voyager**! ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/34 "2007-01-15T20:18:46Z")
Actually, the badness of the Eye of Argon is somewhat overstated. Sure, the prose is purple as hell and there are some howlers, but considering the author was in his teens when he wrote it, he needs to be cut a bit of slack. He still manages to tell a coherant story. As for the many typoes in the original, there is some evidence that they had been introduced long afterwards, when it was retyped. Sure, it’s bad, but there’s plenty of fan fiction that’s even worse. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/35 "2007-01-15T20:32:35Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] > **[Examples of Thesaurus Abuse](http://www.peltorro.com/thesaurus.htm)** > > Examples of Thesaurus Abuse Many giggles. -FrL- [/QUOTE] Many thanks for my laugh of the day! ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/36 "2007-01-15T23:03:19Z")
My favorite snippet from the random quote generator has got to be: > [@](#): > > Trinkle did not possess a legal mind. He was a mental grasshopper, an intellectual kangaroo, a mind wallaby. > > ``` > Beyond the Void > Writing as John E. Muller > > ``` It is my new mission to figure out how to use “mind wallaby” in conversation. As to the thread, and I know some are going to hate me for this, but I have to nominate _Stranger in a Strange Land_ by Heinlein. 200 thousand some odd words of of late 60’s / early 70’s pseudo-intellectual tripe. It probably wouldn’t have been so bad if it didn’t try so damn hard. The thing is filled with such profound statements as: > [@](#): > > I have learned two ways to tie my shoes. One way is only good for lying down. The other way is good for walking. Deep that. About as deep as a puddle. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/37 "2007-01-15T23:27:36Z")
[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun] Deep that. About as deep as a puddle. [/QUOTE] That seems a strangely selected quote from SiaSL. Do you take it that Heinlein is, with that pair of sentences, somehow _trying_ to offer anything profound? -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/38 "2007-01-16T00:24:44Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] That seems a strangely selected quote from SiaSL. Do you take it that Heinlein is, with that pair of sentences, somehow _trying_ to offer anything profound? [/QUOTE] Maybe they were a bad example. The following might illustrate my point a little better: > [@](#): > > “Thou art God,” Mike repeated serenely. “That which groks. Anne is God. I am God. The happy grass are God, Jill groks in beauty always. Jill is God. All shaping and making and creating together.” Ug. Just… Ug. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/39 "2007-01-16T01:29:34Z")
[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun] As to the thread, and I know some are going to hate me for this, but I have to nominate _Stranger in a Strange Land_ by Heinlein. 200 thousand some odd words of of late 60’s / early 70’s pseudo-intellectual tripe. [/QUOTE] Heinlein first got the idea that became Stranger in 1948. After several false starts, including a major amount of work in 1953 and 1955, he restarted writing in in late 1958 or early 1959 and finished by spring of 1960. It was published in 1961, well before any such creatures as hippies existed, whom he hated passionately along with everything else that characterized the 60s. The original manuscript weighed in at around 220,000 words but was cut down to about 150,000. After he became so famous that his laundry lists would sell, i.e. after his death, the original uncut manuscript was issued. That may be the one you’re thinking of. However, the 1961 Stranger remains the book that book most have read and remember. When I was 19 I thought the book was as fantastic as anything I had read. Then I turned 20. However, pseudo-intellectual tripe is a bad way of characterizing the book. The notion that god is in everything is hardly original to Heinlein, being the basis for several religions, and is perhaps the only form of religious expression that can be taken seriously. There are many reasons for denigrating or dismissing Heinlein and I can reel off hundreds any time you ask. But these aren’t any of them. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877/40 "2007-01-16T02:06:53Z")
[QUOTE=Exapno Mapcase] However, pseudo-intellectual tripe is a bad way of characterizing the book. The notion that god is in everything is hardly original to Heinlein, being the basis for several religions, and is perhaps the only form of religious expression that can be taken seriously. There are many reasons for denigrating or dismissing Heinlein and I can reel off hundreds any time you ask. But these aren’t any of them. [/QUOTE] I respectfully disagree. I called it “pseudo-intellectual” precisely _because_ the idea didn’t originate with Heinlein. It’s been around for a long, long time. When Heinlein has a Martian bring this very old and well known human idea to the humans themselves as if it were new, he is coming dangerously close to claiming that the idea _is_ new. (He even goes so far as comparing the character to Prometheus). If an author implies that a common idea is somehow unique to the book, even though it’s obviously not, he is being pseudo-intellectual. This quality of _Stranger in a Strange Land_ is precisely why the book is more popular with teenagers than adults. Teenagers are amazed by the concepts in the book, while adults realize that Heinlein is only recycling old ideas and implying that they are somehow unique to the Martian character. If we define “pseudo-intellectual” as seeming more profound on the surface than in actual substance, then _Stranger in a Strange Land_ certainly qualifies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-second-worst-sf-book-ever/387877.md?page=3)