# The secret I can finally reveal to fellow dopers. I am a highly decorated Navy SEAL **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 17, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050 "2010-07-17T18:21:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/1 "2010-07-17T18:21:59Z")
with multiple degrees in various martial arts. I am a human weapon! I work with the homeless on weekends, and set aside Tuesday evenings to be a mentor to disadvantaged children. [Let me tell you even more about myself.](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100716/ap_on_re_us/us_military_medals_impostors) ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/2 "2010-07-17T19:14:51Z")
Regardless of those persistent rumors, I did not develop the small pox vaccine, or invented cell phones. Please stop repeating these rumors. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/3 "2010-07-17T19:21:42Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > Regardless of those persistent rumors, I did not develop the small pox vaccine, or invented cell phones. Please stop repeating these rumors. Stop being modest Mighty Girl, you did all that and more! You didn’t even say anything about you and your intelligent atomic scooter “Osiris” fighting crime after the sun goes down. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/4 "2010-07-17T20:10:39Z")
See, I was a Navy Seal, but the Marines wanted me more. So I’m both. I can’t tell you what my unit in the Marines is called 'cause it’s too secret. You don’t have the clearance. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/5 "2010-07-17T20:21:12Z")
Might want to wait and see what happens on appeal there, Sensei Master Chief. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/6 "2010-07-17T20:34:02Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Might want to wait and see what happens on appeal there, Sensei Master Chief. 😉 There is no appeal. I forgot to tell you. I AM THE LAW!! I met Chuck Norris once and the double dose of our testosterone was so intense all the women within 10 yards of us grew a douchey little chin beard. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/7 "2010-07-17T23:13:06Z")
I’m a 10th Dan Black Belt in a Martial Art so secret that even the President of the United States lacks the clearance to know it’s name. I’m a highly decorated war hero in an off-world war against an alien race. Of course all of that is secret, so no one knows about it. I’ve won 47 Congressional Medals of Honor, but they’re all so secret that even Congress wasn’t told about them. In fact, all of this is so highly secret and sensitive, that everyone who ever reads this post will be tracked down and have their memory erased using that secret alien technology. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/8 "2010-07-17T23:20:15Z")
Chuck Norris has ME on speed dial in case he comes across something he can’t handle. ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/9 "2010-07-17T23:23:57Z")
I’m just a mere leopard seal. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/10 "2010-07-17T23:26:31Z")
Anybody know if **Chimera** will be posting to this thread? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/11 "2010-07-17T23:38:46Z")
I can’t comment on the strength of the judge’s constitutional argument, or on the likelihood that his decision will be overturned on appeal, but as a general principle, i like his ruling. I’ve argued before that this sort of lie, while stupid and deserving of scorn and ridicule, should not be subject to criminalization. If someone claims to be a veteran in order to defraud the government of benefits, or something similar, the person should be charged under the relevant laws. But simply lying about yourself in order to impress other people? Douchebags do that all the time, and it shouldn’t be illegal. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/12 "2010-07-17T23:52:06Z")
I **AM** highly decorated! I’m wearing tinsel, popcorn strings, glass balls, and a few Hallmark keepsake ornaments. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/13 "2010-07-17T23:56:12Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > I can’t comment on the strength of the judge’s constitutional argument… Well, actually, i can comment, because i’m a highly-regarded constitutional lawyer who has argued in front of the Supreme Court. But i’m not going to, because you can’t afford my rates. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/14 "2010-07-18T00:15:36Z")
If it’s unconstitutional under [civilian] law, can we use military law instead? They don’ take no shit from nobody! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/15 "2010-07-18T00:37:23Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > …I’ve won 47 Congressional Medals of Honor, but they’re all so secret that even Congress wasn’t told about them. > … I’m catching up. I won three last week. But they’re so secret even I’m not allowed to know what I did to earn them. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/16 "2010-07-18T01:25:43Z")
I’m a time lord. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/17 "2010-07-18T01:26:40Z")
Me too! I won several of my medals next week. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/18 "2010-07-18T01:36:49Z")
The truth is… I am Iron Man. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/19 "2010-07-18T01:40:14Z")
_I_ graduated HIGH SCHOOL! Top 80% of my class too! Hah… so there. And my wife is Morgan Fairchild… who I **have** seen naked. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/20 "2010-07-18T02:00:10Z")
I am the World’s Most Humble Person three years running. Not that I’m bragging or anything. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050.md?page=2)