# The secret I can finally reveal to fellow dopers. I am a highly decorated Navy SEAL **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 17, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050 "2010-07-17T18:21:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/21 "2010-07-18T02:14:05Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Anybody know if **Chimera** will be posting to this thread? Why would he? He’s just a mild mannered reporter, if I remember correctly. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/22 "2010-07-18T02:26:10Z")
I’m actually God. My atheism? Just a cover. Who’d suspect me of all people of being God? I can even tell people on message boards my true identity and they’ll never believe me! Edited in order to create a false impression of fallibility and preserve my cover ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/23 "2010-07-18T05:56:39Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I **AM** highly decorated! > > I’m wearing tinsel, popcorn strings, glass balls, and a few Hallmark keepsake ornaments. Pics or it didn’t happen! No, wait, I remember how that went last time… ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/24 "2010-07-18T06:04:56Z")
You are all just voices in my head. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/25 "2010-07-18T07:03:58Z")
I fathered all of ya, you can ask your mom and she will deny of course, but her mysterious smile after you pop the question is all about her remembering the night we conceived you . yeah ,you can call we Daddy, but don’t come asking for a allowance or anything ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/26 "2010-07-18T07:25:07Z")
I see none of my fellow Rangers have posted in the thread yet. I’m on disability due to my last mission. My team and I had to sneak across a south american border to go rescue a diplomat and the previous rescue team. The rest I can’t talk about. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/27 "2010-07-18T08:08:31Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > I see none of my fellow Rangers have posted in the thread yet. I’m Koragg the Knight Wolf. I ate the other Rangers. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/28 "2010-07-18T11:40:03Z")
I used to be a Seal, but I got promoted. I’m now a Steller Sea Lion. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/29 "2010-07-18T12:06:01Z")
**I…am Spartacus!** ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/30 "2010-07-18T12:06:51Z")
> [@lawoot](#): > > I used to be a Seal, but I got promoted. I’m now a Steller Sea Lion. Bow to me. I am the walrus! (Koo koo ka choo!) ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/31 "2010-07-18T12:21:38Z")
I am not a Navy SEAL. I am, however, a grey seal. One day I hope to be promoted to orca. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/32 "2010-07-18T13:24:31Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > I’m actually God. My atheism? Just a cover. Who’d suspect me of all people of being God? I can even tell people on message boards my true identity and they’ll never believe me! > Edited in order to create a false impression of fallibility and preserve my cover That gave me the biggest laugh I’ve had in a long time. Thanks, dude. Now to get back to that super secret project I was going to tell you guys about. They said they’d kill me if I told, but that wo ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/33 "2010-07-18T13:43:30Z")
Wait a minute, I’m a seal, too! And this thread has my approval. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/34 "2010-07-18T16:22:50Z")
Well, first I [redacted] Then in 1995 there was the time I [redacted] And the whole Y2K thing? I [redacted] Things have been quiet lately, but I’m keeping in shape for 1012 when I will [redacted] ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/35 "2010-07-18T16:54:57Z")
I’m a vacuum seal. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/36 "2010-07-18T18:14:24Z")
\ Naw, that’s just ice cream! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/37 "2010-07-18T19:29:20Z")
> [@Jolly\_Roger](#): > > I’m a time lord. Sort of like me but without the capital “L” and the holes in the feet, huh? Anyone else read the thread title and flash a mental image of a circus seal wrapped in Christmas lights and bulbs? No? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/38 "2010-07-18T19:39:13Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > Bow to me. I am the walrus! (Koo koo ka choo!) The walrus was Paul. (Clue.) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/39 "2010-07-18T22:06:03Z")
Those moon landing hoaxes are all bullshit. And I know this because as an astronaut I’ve been to the moon. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050/40 "2010-07-18T22:12:33Z")
I don’t want to brag, so I won’t go into detail. But remember a few years ago when the Iron Curtain collapsed and then the Soviet Union itself fell? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-i-can-finally-reveal-to-fellow-dopers-i-am-a-highly-decorated-navy-seal/547050.md?page=3)