# The secret to getting laid **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 20, 2011, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974 "2011-02-20T02:49:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/21 "2011-02-20T19:49:07Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > The secret to getting laid is low standards. Oooh, that’s good. You are wise. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2011, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/22 "2011-02-20T21:28:25Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > The secret to getting laid is low standards. Yeah, but how do I get the hot chicks to lower their standards? ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/23 "2011-02-20T21:30:25Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > Yeah, but how do I get the hot chicks to lower their standards? [Cash.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Nicole_Smith) ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/24 "2011-02-20T21:32:41Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > Yeah, but how do I get the hot chicks to lower their standards? Make more money, and buy her alcohol. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/25 "2011-02-20T21:34:07Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Cash So I should murder a man in Reno? ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/26 "2011-02-20T21:39:51Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > So I should murder a man in Reno? There was an episode of CSI about this, strangely enough. Step 1: First, you be a golddigger yourself and marry a rich old person. Step 2: Murder the rich person so you inherit all their cash. Step 3: Attract hot mates with your newfound cash. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2011, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/27 "2011-02-20T21:40:23Z")
Why is telling her friends that you dance a turn-on for her? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/28 "2011-02-21T02:50:38Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Why is telling her friends that you dance a turn-on for her? I’m confused about that too, since it definitely wouldn’t do anything for me. Maybe it’s a euphemism? ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/29 "2011-02-21T04:09:55Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Why is telling her friends that you dance a turn-on for her? Same reason giving a girl flowers is good, but giving them to her at her office in front of her female coworkers is much, much better. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/30 "2011-02-21T04:14:38Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Same reason giving a girl flowers is good, but giving them to her at her office in front of her female coworkers is much, much better. But she wasn’t present to get the jealousy. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/31 "2011-02-21T04:20:44Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > It has something to do with two claw-foot bath tubs sitting side by side on the lawn. That’s what all the ED drug commercials show, so it must be true! ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/32 "2011-02-21T04:38:59Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > The secret to getting laid: Be someone someone else wants to have sex with. > [@mookieblaylock](#): > > Method: don’t be me. Or, an easier way is to simply read posts above yours. (Posts below yours work as well: > [@LouisB](#): > > I used to know the secret to getting laid. I’ve forgotten it. I’m happy to be a born again virgin. In other words, dude, don’t worry about it. You keep brinigng it up, you worry about it. Think the Pope ever griped about never having had a piece of ass in 83 years?) ---
**Author:** ![mookieblaylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@mookieblaylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mookieblaylock)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/33 "2011-02-21T05:01:58Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > Or, an easier way is to simply read posts above yours. > > (Posts below yours work as well: > > In other words, dude, don’t worry about it. You keep brinigng it up, you worry about it. Think the Pope ever griped about never having had a piece of ass in 83 years?) No he didn’t, because that’s the lifestyle he chose. I’m so pathetic I can’t even manage to do what no one else has any problem with. Shows how great I am, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/34 "2011-02-21T05:39:10Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > I’m so pathetic I can’t even manage to do what **no one else has any problem with**. Try to use vaseline instead of baby oil. Baby oil doesn’t create enough friction. But, if it’s a hand/eye coordination problem, brace your hand on the bed. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/35 "2011-02-21T05:44:51Z")
The critical flaw in the OP’s premise is that having a fiancee is a pre-requisite. Getting laid isn’t really supposed to be a challenge when you have a fiancee. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/36 "2011-02-21T05:49:13Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > Method: don’t be me. > > If you are then you may as well cut your genitals off because you’re never gonna be using them. **Moderator Warning** **mookie** , How many times must we say it? We don’t want to see any more self-pity posts from you about not getting laid. I do understand how hard it can be to go through this. However, you need to keep in mind that everyone _gets_ it by now. I’ve issued a formal warning for this. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/37 "2011-02-21T05:54:23Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Fiancee: just about anything. > > Post-fiancee: begging. I hear and read this a lot, and jokes about how once you’re married you will “ **Never Have Sex Again…en** …en…en…en”, which is simply untrue. No, we don’t have sex whenever we’re in eyeshot of each other like we used to, nor do I want that, but after twenty years, a couple of times a week is not bad. If anything, sometimes that’s a little too frequent. I mean, it’s twenty years for goodness sake. It’s not like things are suddenly going to be different. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/38 "2011-02-21T06:30:10Z")
> [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > I hear and read this a lot, and jokes about how once you’re married you will “ **Never Have Sex Again…en** …en…en…en”, which is simply untrue. > > No, we don’t have sex whenever we’re in eyeshot of each other like we used to, nor do I want that, but after twenty years, a couple of times a week is not bad. If anything, sometimes that’s a little too frequent. I mean, it’s twenty years for goodness sake. It’s not like things are suddenly going to be different. You are luckily in the 1% of outliers. Rejoice while you can. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/39 "2011-02-21T06:55:52Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > You are luckily in the 1% of outliers. Rejoice while you can. I simply don’t believe that. I know we’re not in GD but cite? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/40 "2011-02-21T08:38:50Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > So I should murder a man in Reno? Only if you watch him die. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974.md?page=3)