# The secret to getting laid **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 20, 2011, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974 "2011-02-20T02:49:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/41 "2011-02-21T08:40:03Z")
> [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > I simply don’t believe that. I know we’re not in GD but cite? [From here](http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html): > [@](#): > > Percentage of Men Reporting Frequency of Vaginal Sex, N=2396 > Age Group—18-24/—/25-29/—/30-39/—/40-49/—/50-59/—/60-69/—/70+ > 2-3 times > per week ----45.8/-----/37.1/-----/26.8 /----/19.9 /—/15.0 /-----/9.5/-----/5.8 > > 4 or more > times per > week ----------20.8— /5.9/ -----/ 5.8/-----/ 3.7 / – —/ 1.1 /----/ 0.0/ —0.8 If we can assume that you got married at a legal age, after 20 years, you would be in one of groups on the right hand side. If you were to say “a couple” of times as two, then the frequency would be in the 15% to 19.9% range, but the doesn’t say how many of the times are with the wife. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/42 "2011-02-21T09:10:13Z")
Wow. I honestly cannot believe that the majority of couples my age have sex once a week at best. Really? ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/43 "2011-02-21T09:46:38Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > But she wasn’t present to get the jealousy. I won’t presume to speak for **ChessicSense** , but my take on it was this: First of all, jealousy isn’t remotely involved. If the fiancee herself went and told her friends that \*\*CS \*\*dances with her in the kitchen, they either go “awwwwwwww, how sweet!” or they go “yeah yeah yeah, we get it, yer in love, etc.” But chick is bragging, and that gets old fast. But if the **boyfriend** goes and tells them, 1. The girlfriends get to see what a sweet guy he is 2. Without her having to brag about it. _They_ will come tell _her_ about it later! 3. And, broomstick poke in the kidney notwithstanding, it’s a sweet, romantic gesture. In real life, if the guy sneaks up on us, we KNOW his final objective isn’t dancing, usually because his hands head right for the boobage. Or he might pretend to dance for a few seconds, but then Mr. Broomstick makes himself known, etc. 4. But if the guy tells the girlfriends “I dance with her in the kitchen” they get all the romantic part: “he dances! he’s comfortable w/ himself to share this with us AND, contrary to 100% of every other couple’s experience, it didn’t lead to sex! \*He just wanted to dance with her. \*OMG!” Courtly love! Hell, even I want to sleep with **CS** , and I’ve never met the guy! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/44 "2011-02-21T09:56:15Z")
> [@TokyoPlayer](#): > > [From here](http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html): > > If we can assume that you got married at a legal age, after 20 years, you would be in one of groups on the right hand side. > > If you were to say “a couple” of times as two, then the frequency would be in the 15% to 19.9% range, but the doesn’t say how many of the times are with the wife. Okay, so 19.9, let’s just call it 20 percent of couples my age who’ve been married for 20 years, have sex, on average, twice a week. That is lower than I would have expected, but it’s still much higher than the 1 percent number I questioned. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/45 "2011-02-21T11:05:09Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > Wow. I honestly cannot believe that the majority of couples my age have sex once a week at best. Really? From the linked chart, for females in their 20s, it all depends on the middle group, and how many of them are only weekly vs. those who are several times a week. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/46 "2011-02-21T14:26:18Z")
> [@TokyoPlayer](#): > > [From here](http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html): > > If we can assume that you got married at a legal age, after 20 years, you would be in one of groups on the right hand side. > > If you were to say “a couple” of times as two, then the frequency would be in the 15% to 19.9% range, but the doesn’t say how many of the times are with the wife. Am I misreading that or doesn’t it say that married people are having sex more than singles? ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/47 "2011-02-21T14:31:46Z")
/reads title of chart /reads across to age group /reads down to frequency /does some mental math /sighs unhappily. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/48 "2011-02-21T15:10:35Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Am I misreading that or doesn’t it say that married people are having sex more than singles? Pretty much every survey I’ve read reports married people have more sex than singles. Access is the key point. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/49 "2011-02-21T15:13:26Z")
> [@TokyoPlayer](#): > > Pretty much every survey I’ve read reports married people have more sex than singles. Access is the key point. Well, I thought I knew that, too. But this survey was posted in reply to a request for a cite about the opposite, so I got confused about what was actually being demonstrated. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/50 "2011-02-21T16:20:50Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > Wow. I honestly cannot believe that the majority of couples my age have sex once a week at best. Really? Its believable, and certainly mirrors my experience now that the initial “OMG! You’re awesome, I love you!!” thing has worn off. We work long hours, inevitably have to bring work home, and the other stuff that we’re both separately involved in, tends to leave both of us absolutely exhausted at the end of the day and just about able to flop into bed. Mornings are a mad rush between maximizing time asleep and getting to work on time. It all leaves very little time for other things. Don’t get me wrong, we both still love each other, and think the other is insanely hot, its just that we’re no longer jumping each other at every chance we get, because other things take priority. And its not like we have kids either. Unfortunately, I’m rather convinced that ours is the norm and not the exception. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/51 "2011-02-21T16:36:53Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > **Moderator Warning** > **mookie** , > > How many times must we say it? We don’t want to see any more self-pity posts from you about not getting laid. > > **I do understand how hard it can be to go through this**. However, you need to keep in mind that everyone _gets_ it by now. > > I’ve issued a formal warning for this. Well it made me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/52 "2011-02-21T16:42:30Z")
Wait, around the two dozenth time, it’s not so funny. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/53 "2011-02-21T16:57:13Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > These days, what seems to work is observing that (incredibly!) we may just have a narrow window of opportunity in which to manage the deed. My, how times change. Sounds awfully familiar! ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/54 "2011-02-21T17:15:46Z")
> [@TokyoPlayer](#): > > If we can assume that you got married at a legal age, after 20 years, you would be in one of groups on the right hand side. Yup, I’ve been married for a while and “right hand” is indeed the operative phrase in my sex life. 😃 (I kid, I kid. I use both hands. :)) ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/55 "2011-02-21T17:17:11Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > Yup, I’ve been married for a while and “right hand” is indeed the operative phrase in my sex life. 😃 > > (I kid, I kid. I use both hands. :)) Weirdly I am right handed but always do it with my left. I have never worked out why. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/56 "2011-02-21T17:48:48Z")
> [@amanset](#): > > Weirdly I am right handed but always do it with my left. I have never worked out why. You need the right hand to turn the pages, silly. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/57 "2011-02-21T17:51:52Z")
> [@amanset](#): > > Weirdly I am right handed but always do it with my left. I have never worked out why. This sounds like cause for starting a thread in IMHO (or whichever forum it is that allows polls) ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/58 "2011-02-21T17:55:52Z")
Great, now this thread has cock-blocked possibly thousands of men around the world. Great job. Also note that both men and women tend to lie about how much sex they’re getting. Men lie upwards, women lie downwards. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/59 "2011-02-21T19:20:37Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Also note that both men and women tend to lie about how much sex they’re getting. Men lie upwards, women lie downwards. So eventually thay, uh, meet in the middle. So to speak. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/60 "2011-02-21T19:40:37Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > The critical flaw in the OP’s premise is that having a fiancee is a pre-requisite. Getting laid isn’t really supposed to be a challenge when you have a fiancee. Oh, but it is. It is. > [@KinkiNipponTourist](#): > > I won’t presume to speak for **ChessicSense** , but my take on it was this: > > First of all, jealousy isn’t remotely involved. If the fiancee herself went and told her friends that \*\*CS \*\*dances with her in the kitchen, they either go “awwwwwwww, how sweet!” or they go “yeah yeah yeah, we get it, yer in love, etc.” But chick is bragging, and that gets old fast. > > But if the **boyfriend** goes and tells them, > > 1. The girlfriends get to see what a sweet guy he is > > 2. Without her having to brag about it. _They_ will come tell _her_ about it later! > > 3. And, broomstick poke in the kidney notwithstanding, it’s a sweet, romantic gesture. In real life, if the guy sneaks up on us, we KNOW his final objective isn’t dancing, usually because his hands head right for the boobage. Or he might pretend to dance for a few seconds, but then Mr. Broomstick makes himself known, etc. > > 4. But if the guy tells the girlfriends “I dance with her in the kitchen” they get all the romantic part: “he dances! he’s comfortable w/ himself to share this with us AND, contrary to 100% of every other couple’s experience, it didn’t lead to sex! \*He just wanted to dance with her. \*OMG!” Courtly love! > > Hell, even I want to sleep with **CS** , and I’ve never met the guy! 😃 I should also point out that I’m marrying a professional actress. She has a penchant for seeking the spotlight. I was once told “Oh, honey, it’s not that I want to be married; I want a _wedding_.” So bragging to her girlfriends about us, thus putting her temporarily ‘above’ her friends, turns her on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974.md?page=4)